My brother Ryan has a new girlfriend named Nikki and I think shes great. She’s sweet, friendly, nice to sit down and talk to, AND the best part.... she wants me to teach her how to knit and crochet.
I don’t think Ryan fully comprehends what this means....
Nikki and I will be stitching, and what happens when a couple of girls sit down to stitch? They bitch. And the one most obvious thing we have in common? MY BROTHER.
Theres a 12-1/2 year age difference between my brother and I so I have very clear memories of the bizarre stuff he did as a child.
It is going to be so tempting to tell her how when he was about three he continuously flushed his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles down the toilet because they were supposed to live in the sewer. At least once a week our dad had to remove the toilet and snake Ryans toys out.
Its also going to be hard to not tell her about the time when I heard him playing in the bathtub making weird sound effect type noises and splashing all over the place (I think he was 4 or 5) so I peeked my head in to see about 20 or so pink plastic applicators floating in the tub. He had discovered my box of tampons, thought they were weird little submarine and rocket toys and was launching them in the tub.
I must resist the urge the embarass the hell out of him.
I’m a BAD sister.
BAD. BAD. BAD.