Friday, May 19, 2006

All My Bags Are Packed, I’m Ready To Go

My journey has just begun.

This is a VERY long entry, I apologize for the rambling and the typos but I’m on Amtrak on my way to San Francisco.

I can’t even describe what I’m feeling right now.

This morning it hit me:


Is this real?
Despite this realization, it does not seem real.
I can not believe that I’m actually going.

All this realization did was send me into a panic that lasted from about 9:30 this morning until about 7:00 this evening.
All day I felt like I was about to throw myself into an anxiety attack. The only way I could describe it was that it felt as though my heart was in my throat and my stomach was in my foot.
I partly blame this on my highly honed skills of procrastination. I’d put off cleaning out the suitcase until late last night. It involved the vacuum, and when that didnt work completely, I had to resort to the high pressure hose and leaving the suitcase out all day to dry. This left me with having to pack when I got home from work this evening. I also had to find a power converter. I’d thought that I’d taken care of that the other night,, but upon reading the fine print on the packaging last night, I realized that I’d gotten a plug converter and not a power converter. had I used this little device, I would have been able to plug in my ipod charger, or the battery charger for my camera, but the 220 volts coursing through the european outlets would have fried out my electronics that are only able to handle 110 volts. Why do plug adaptors even exist? Why even label them plug adaptors? Why not label them “Device to Enable You To Destroy Your Expensive Electronics & Potentially Short Circuit The Entire Hotel”? With my luck, thats what would have happened. I would have short circuited the entire hotel, and theres no way I would own up to it. I’d be standing in the candle lit lobby along with everyone else saying “What jack-hole did this?!?!? God! Some people!” Oh yes, I would deny deny deny that responsibility.

Anyways, my day was filled with high levels of panic and anxiety, calculating “okay, so I leave work at 5, get home at about 6, then mom is picking me up by 7:30 to get downtown to catch the 8:40 train to Richmond where I’ll transfer to BART and take that in to the city where Erin & Jeremy will meet me at the Civic Center at 11. So, this leaves me only an hour and a half to find a power converter, get cigarettes, and pack. Crap, and I have to call THAT client before I leave, and change the outgoing message on my voicemail so that my clients know I won’t be returning their calls.” All day, my coworkers were telling me to stop and breathe.

Ultimately when I got home I threw way too much stuff in my bag, I have most definitely overpacked. When I get to SF, I’ll ask Erin to go through my bag with me to pare things down . With my aunt having been a high school french teacher who took the summer tours to Europe every summer and Erin going with the group, she is a very experienced European traveler and will be able to help me pare down my suitcase to just the essentials and leave room to bring back all the stuff I’m certain to pick up along the way.

And in the middle of all of that panic and anxiety today, I had an interview at work today. My manager has asked me to apply for another position, and one of my coworkers who happens to be the “lead” for that group asked me to apply as well. i was interviewed by my manager, my coworker who is the “lead”, and another seniored rep. Coming out of the interview I thought “Dear God, I choked on that. I hope I didnt come across as flustered as I felt. A little later, the “lead” sends me an IM saying:


Great, so I was as much of a spaz as I thought. Perfect.
My manager and the lead know my qualifications and have both said that they think I’m the only candidate qualified for the position. While they’ve never said it directly, but have insinuated it, I think the interview was just a formality. I just hope that my lack of composure doesn’t make them rethink that.

Anyways, more importantly, I’M LEAVING FOR IRELAND IN THE MORNING!!!
I will try to find at least one internet cafe during my journey, but honest, I’m not going to spend a lot of time posting entries. However, I will be keeping a journal during my vacation and will most definitely share excerpts, if not all of it, when I return. And pictures. There will be LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of pictures.

I’m excited, anxious, nervous, scared, and in disbelief all at the same time. I doubt if I’ll be able to get any sleep tonight.


Tanya Kristine said...

i was the same exact way (minus the interview)

and while you're in ireland you will say to yourself "My GOD! i'm in IRELAND RIGHT NOW!" it's the weirdest and most lovliest feeling.

i can't wait to hear about it. i hope you can blog while you're there. you hav eto find littel internet cafes there...

Anonymous said...

You're probably on the plane right now, so I'll wish you pleasant dreams/a pleasant flight and HAVE AN AWESOME TIME!!!! I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU COME BACK AND TELL ALL!!

kimananda said...

I am so totally excited to hear all about all of your Irish adventures! :-)