Sunday, April 09, 2006

Am I Going Soft?

Friday after work I drove up to Cottonwood (just 30 minutes south of Redding on I-5) to spend the weekend with an old friend/coworker. She'd moved up there a little over a month ago because she realized that she and her husband were never going to be able to afford to buy a home here in Sacramento. The area is beautiful, however it is way too remote for me. I do not think I could ever live in the "country" I'm pretty certain that I'm a city girl but I do enjoy getting away from it all to relax and unwind.
My friend has a son that just turned one about 2 weeks ago. He is adorable and for some reason he latched on to me from the minute I got there. I'd seen him before a few times when my friend would bring him in to work but I'd never really spent too much time with him. All weekend he wanted me to hold him, was bringing me his favorite toys, and when I went to leave this evening I set my bag down by the door for a moment and the kid started pulling all of my stuff out of my bag and taking it back into the guest room.
I've never really wanted kids. I LOVE kids, I really do, but I've always wanted to live vicariiously through my friends and family and to be the "cool auntie". Aunt Nessie. I just like the sound of that better than "Mommy".
But this kid? He made my womb ACHE to the point that I question the whole "live vicariously through others" idea.
Am I getting soft? Do I REALLY want a kid or two eventually or is this just some anxiety tied in with turning 30 in a few months? I would think that I'm too young to be having any sort of life crisis.

Irish Fact of the Day.....
Its green and in europe.
Its late, I'm tired, and I don't feel like looking shit up.


Tanya Kristine said...

i bought a CAAARRRR!!!!

go see my blog.

and you and i HAVE to schedule a meeting soon becuase you have few days left...

Tanya Kristine said...

kids are over-rated.

get a dog.

Shananigans said...

Yes, get a dog. A dog will fulfill many of your motherly urges without all the messiness of being responsible for another human life.

kimananda said...'s only a sign of getting soft if you still want kids after being with a kid having temper tantrums for a whole weekend. It's much easier to want kids when they're well behaved.