The Long and the Short Of It....

The SHORT answer, Kylee is perfectly fine.



Just like the day she was born. Innocent, and lovely.



The LONG answer:

A neurologist took a look at her MRI's. He doesn't think she has cerebral palsy. He said that it can be common for premies (Kylee was born at 36 weeks) to have spots of white matter on their brain that show in an MRI, but while it is still within the realm of possibility, he doesn't think Kylee has CP. TO rule it out beyond a reasonable doubt would involve subjecting Kylee to a battery of tests and procedures that could span the next couple of months and that IF, if, she did have Cp it is the mildest form possible and that since CP is not a progressive disease she would never experience any manifestations of the disease and that there is nothing to be concerned about.
My sister has opted to not subject Kylee to any further testing at this point, accepting the doctors diagnosis.
It does make sense, my rational mind tells me that any symptoms of CP would have shown by now, that my niece is wonderful and amazing and glorious.
My paranoid, anxiety ridden, pessimistic, hypochondriac side will be watching my niece for the next 5 years and personally dragging her back to the neurologists if the littlest symptom of a symptom presents itself.

I Spoke Too Soon

I need to quit doing that - speaking too soon. Tempting fate. Jinxing myself.

So, I just said that family drama has been relatively low key. But, of course, something always HAS to be happening, right?

You've all seen photos of my niece. You've read of my adoration of her. I love the heck out of this little girl.



She is my angel.

She has a slightly lazy eye - her left - not very noticeable, minor. In the photo below you can KINDA see it.



A few weeks ago a Dr looked a the eye and determined that she has an underdeveloped optic nerve. In addition to the nerve itself, was concerned about the effect that it could have on her pituitary gland and scheduled an MRI for this past Monday to see if the pituitary gland is effected.
Yesterday we got the preliminary results - the pituitary gland is NOT affected. Then we heard news that was not on our radar. No where near it.
The MRI showed a small spot of "white matter" on her brain which can be indicative of Cerebral Palsy.
So, now we have to wait another two-and-a-half weeks for the follow up with the doctor.
The little we know now is that the spot is VERY small - if she does have Cerebral Palsy it is very minimal. We are trying to be optimistic that she doesn't have CP because the doctor told my sister that signs typically present by age three and Kylee will be three next month. She hasn't presented with any of the typical signs of CP other than she is a bit clumsy and stumbles often; which could be either mild CP presenting itself OR typical toddler clumsiness.

The next couple weeks are going to be nerve wracking.

Long Time, No Blog

Yeah, I've been caught up in the middle of all of the drama with my niece.

I can't exactly say that things have gone badly, but I also can't say that they've gone the way that I wanted them to.

Kylee has been placed with her paternal great-aunt, she came down from Idaho for the time being and my mom and I get weekend visits.

My sister is doing well, she is in a residential rehab facility that is designed for women with children so there are other mothers there and a couple of them have their children in the house with them. My sister could potentially have Kylee in the house with her later down the road. I'll admit, at first I was a little apprehensive at the thought of Kylee going into a rehab house but I have met all of the women in the house and I am a little more comfortable with the thought of it now.
Overall, she is doing really well with her recovery - I am very proud of how far she has come so far and trust that she is on the right path to getting herself together to be reunited with her daughter and make a life for the two of them.
My nieces father is a different story. He was supposed to go into rehab the same day that my sister did but didn't check himself in until over a week later, and that was only after several people talked him into it. He was there less than two weeks until he just walked out one night and he has missed two court dates. He's supposed to have gone back into rehab over a week ago but still has not. I am very conflicted on this.
Overall, I know that as long as he continues the way he is that he will not be a good father to Kylee and that it may be better for him to not be involved in her life.
However, this makes me incredibly sad. I know firsthand what it is like to grow up without a father and I hate hate hate the thought of her going through that. I know what its like to wonder why he wasn't around, to track him down as a teenager, not knowing if he had a whole other family, not knowing if he would accept me or how my sudden appearance would affect this whole other hypothetical family and what their reaction to me would be. I really don't want Kylee to have to go through that. I hope that he gets his act together so that she doesn't have to go through that.

To leave you on a CUTE note, here are some of the ADORABLE photos I've taken of Kylee on a couple of our recent visits.

Loving Kylee

Naturally, we can't go five minutes without some sort of drama in my family.
However, I think the most recent turn of events are the most horrific.

It was just a little over 2 years ago that I introduced all of you to my niece, Kylee Rose.


Isn't she just edible? Don't you just want to nom on those cheeks?
I adore her. She is one of the hugest blessings in my life.

Last Sunday morning, my sister, Kylee was taken in by child protective services and was placed in emergency confidential foster. My sister and her boyfriend had put their own drug addictions before the best interest and safety of their child.
My mother is try to get Kylee home with her, but the system is ridiculously slow. The soonest we can even be considered for long term placement of Kylee is after court next Wednesday. At that point the judge may give the order for CPS to go to my mothers home to assess it for placement and then we can proceed with trying to bring Kylee home. In the meantime, no extended family members - meaning no one aside from my sister or her boyfriend, can have visitation with Kylee.



There are several factors in this situation that are especially aggravating.
1 - How archaically slow the system is moving in general. IF the judge gives the order to have my mothers home assessed next Wednesday, the 12th, and CPS comes out to inspect it on Thursday, and we miraculously were able to bring Kylee home on Friday, that would be nearly three weeks that she had been gone away from her family - the family that she is safe with. I can only imagine how horrible this is for her: to wonder where her entire family is.
2 - A big complication is that Kylees father is Native American and his tribe, who is in Arizona, is being notified of these proceedings so that they can determine if they want to exercise their rights under the Indian Child Welfare Act. I hate to think that if they wished to, they could step in and claim first dibs to a child who has never visited their reservation and who isn't yet even a registered tribal member. She has family here who she knows and loves and who know and love her.
3 - The fact that neither my mom nor I can even visit her to offer her some comfort and reassurance. Because she is in a confidential foster home no one can know where she is - all visitation has to be supervised and the case worker has informed us that they only arrange supervised visitation with the biological parents: no extended family.
4 - Kylees fathers family, mainly his mother in Oregon, is trying to talk him into signing over his parental rights to them. In the two years since she has been born, his family has shown very little interest in Kylee. They never bothered to come to her birthdays (and they lived just a little over an hour away). They never came to see her at the holidays - she always had to be taken to them. They never helped to buy diapers or clothing or anything like that when my sister and her boyfriend couldn't afford to do so themselves (that was usually me). However, now that theres the potential to receive funding to foster her while her parents try to clean themselves up, as well as tribal money from Arizona, all of a sudden they've decided that her best interest is with them. Infuriating.

Isn't that the cutest little butt you've ever seen?



So, you can say that I am aggravated, angry, annoyed, pissed off, infuriated. However, more than anything else, I am heartbroken. The thought of Kylee with strangers, wondering where her family is, devastates me. I can only imagine how scared and confused she is. I just want to bring her home where I can hold her and comfort her and have her in an environment that is familiar to her with the family that she knows and loves. I miss her. I miss her curiosity and her precociousness, the way she would tease me by pretending to not be able to say my name but shout it and come running to me if something scared her or if she hadn't seen me in a few days. I want to bring her home where she belongs, and the time it is taking the county to go through everything to be able to make this happen is so incredibly frustrating. Add to that frustration the fact that her case worker will not return a single one of my calls, and you have one upset auntie over here.

So, I don't ask much of you dear readers, but if you can please pray for Kylee to come home soon. Pray, or send warm thoughts, good energy, or whatever your particular faith prescribes.

In the meantime, I am going to leave you with one of Kylees favorite songs. Its a weird one for a toddler. She never was big on lullaby's and then a few months ago I went to visit her and had this song playing in my car when I pulled up. She was standing in the front yard and when she heard it she immediately started dancing and rocking out. I don't know if she was just putting on an act for her favorite auntie, or is she is a little rocker in the making, or if its just the celt heritage in her. Either way, its pretty damn funny to watch a toddler jam to the following tune.

Kylees First Piano Lesson

Preston, a family friend, had come over to visit my mom and sister this past weekend. While there, he decided to play the piano some and took a seat on the bench. As soon as he started playing, Kylee was fascinated and wanted UP! UP! UP! on the bench next to him. She took her seat next to Preston and started playing right along with him.

The following video is a VERY brief example of her playing that day - she sat next to him for over half an hour. Thats a pretty impressive attention span for a 15 month old - at least I think so from what I know about kids.
Also, notice that during the second half of the video shes starting to try to hold her hands properly, more like Prestons rather than just banging away on the keyboard.



Kikis First Piano Lesson from Vanessa ODonnell on Vimeo.


What you don't see in the video are some of the examples of how dominant of a personality she has. A couple of times my sister would start to talk. Kylee would dramatically stop playing, turn around and tell her mom to shush.
Then, if she decided that Preston was too far into "her" side of the keyboard, she would push his hand back over to "his" side.
I do believe shes going to be a bit of a diva.

Apparently the video won't load. Check it out here

I've been bad...

At posting. Horrendously bad.
Works been kicking my butt. December and January have always been bad, but this year felt worse than it has in years.
Family has been... complex. The good news is that this past holiday season was my nieces first Christmas and she was ADORABLE. Also, she is now 9 months old! How crazy is that??? Her 1st birthday is just around the corner!?!?!?

This was taken about a week before Christmas. I got to take the little booger for her mall Santa photo. My sister was going to skip the mall Santa photo for economic reasons, but I couldn't let that happen. EVERY child needs to have their photo taken while sitting on some strange old mans lap, right?
And here she is on Christmas morning.

I know that I'm biased, but I just want to eat her up because she is so G.D. adorable.
Anyways, this was Christmas morning on the couch and my moms with a few of the toys that Santa brought her.

And heres the little pooh-bear with her favorite auntie, me, in the midst of the chaos that is the dinner with the entire crazy bunch, I mean extended family.


Aside from fawning over my little niece, theres been other family issues. My moms health isn't so great. She's had 2 heart attacks in the past, the first at the age of 42 and the second at the age of 45. Last month ago there was reason to think she was having another. Thankfully, she wasn't. However, today we learned that her heart is functioning at only 40-45% of its capacity. I haven't spoken with her personally to find out exactly what this means, what the options are, and where to go next.


On a happier note, I went to Italy last November. I know that I mentioned this before, but I never posted any photos. These are a few of my favorites





Italy was beautiful, spectacular, and breathtaking. All at the same time. I definitely will make a point of visiting that country again in the future.

I've been doing better at keeping my travel blog up to date. I'd initially had the blog hosted on Wordpress, and while I liked Wordpress and its format and everything, I didn't like how they don't allow ads. Granted, Google AdSense doesn't pay out a whole heck of a lot, but every little bit ads up, right? Sooo, once it looked as though I was getting a fair amount of traffic I moved the blog over to Typepad. If you care to, you can now visit my travel blog here.
Bookmark it, talk about it, spread the word, whatever.

If you like the photos of Italy up there, and would like to see prints in person I will be having a show of some of my photography next month. Most of the photos will be of my travels - some of Italy, Paris, Ireland, and more exotic locales such as Forest Grove Oregon, Salt Lake City Utah, and our very own Sacramento California. Here are the details

Saturday, March 1 7pm-11pm
It's A Grind Coffee House
2731 Del Paso Road
Sacramento CA 95835

Need directions? Heres a map.

OH! And the best part? It's your chance to meet me in person. I'll be there all night. I may or may not be sneaking outside intermittently for a smoke and to top off my mochas with a wee nip of butterscotch schnapps or something of that genre, but I'll still be there. So, come! Bring a friend!

As I mentioned in my last posting, I've been working on my weight. I started at the beginning of the year and have managed to drop 15 lbs. Granted, I still haven't been to the gym, but it's a start, right?

I've been crocheting lately as well.
A few days after Christmas a close friend of mine lost her brother. I decided to give her an afghan in his honor and presented her with it about a month ago.
In addition to leaving behind his sisters, he also was the father to a 14 year old girl. My friend told me that when his daughter saw the afghan and found out what it was for, she was touched to the point of tears. What choice did I have but to make one for her as well? I finished it a couple of nights ago and should be presenting it to her tomorrow. I didn't get any photos of the afghan I made for my friend, but am hoping to grab a pic or two before I give this one to the daughter tomorrow.

Cooking and Talking.

I made dinner tonight. I was going through some of my Grandmas magazines this afternoon - she buys all of the magazines at the supermarket checkout for their recipes, yet she doesn't cook. Anyways, I found a recipe for a lasagna that I just jad to make this evening. Instead of using lasagna noodles, you use chees raviolis. It was fantastic - I forgot to take any photos though so you'll just have to trust me as to how good it was. I did modify the recipe a little though and added some spinach to the layers.
While cleaning up after dinner I realized that I must talk to my grandmother about my coworkers A LOT. She asked me if I wanted to take some of the leftovers to work tomorrow, and I said yes. Then, she said "I suppose you'll need some for your two boys as well, won't you?"
Also, I'm in a wedding next month. My oldest friend Caren is getting married. I'd like for my nails to grow out some before the wedding so I think I'm going to have to resort to my old stand by for getting my hair and nails to grow for a special occaision - prenatal vitamins.
I leave you with a photo of my niece Kylee and I, this was taken about 3 weeks ago. She is so cute! I can't wait for her personality to really come out.

Happy Saturday!

Earlier this week I was looking forward to the weekend, thinking that I would have both days to myself. I was so happy at the thought of sleeping in and just lounging around the house doing NOTHING. Yesterday I realized that I would actually have a pretty full Saturday.
I did get out last night, went down to the pub and hung out with some friends. Perused the newest issue of Interweave Knits with a fellow knitter and had a few beers.
This morning I got up, went to visit my perfect little niece - she and my sister came home yesterday - and got to hold her and examine her mop of hair, perfect little lips, adorable little finger nails, and most of all.... the cheeks! I just love those round chubby pudgy little cheeks!
Afterwards I took my car in for an oil change and tire rotation. I suppose I could have sat in the waiting room for the hour and a half and worked on the crochet plaid afghan during that time - I had the feeling that the cashier was a knitter or crocheter (just got that vibe) so she would have appreciated it. Instead, I saw the Big Lots across the street and thought I'd just browse for that hour and half. Can you ever "just browse" in a Big Lots?? I think not. $50 later I walk out with 3 bags of stuff I really don't need. Sure, I got a couple of cute stuffed animals and onesies for Kylee, something for an upcoming birthday gift, a steering wheel cover, and some shampoo and conditioner.
Then, it was a fmaily dinner at Outback to celebrate my baby brothers 18th birthday. My sister and niece joined us, and Kylee was perfect the entire time - slept most of the time and only woke up twice, took a look around, then went back to sleep. She could sense when it was time to eat though. As soon as her mothers food was served, Kylee wanted her dinner as well. I offered to feed her so that my sister could eat her dinner while it was still hot, but she had it covered.

Other than that one feeding, Kylee slept through all of the noise of an Outback restaurant on a Saturday night.


By the way - that cute lavendar afghan? Thats the Sideways Shell afghan I crocheted for her. I gave it to her before I photographed it, so this photo will have to suffice.

Tomorrow, I am knitting. Thats it. Well, and most likely having a pint or two down at the pub.

Vital Stats

I forgot to include Kylees stats in last nights post.. I was out of it from lack of sleep.

Kylee Rose
May 15, 2007 5:31 am
7 lbs 4 oz
18.5 inches long
cheek diameter - Pi (theres no end, they just keep going and going)

Astrological stats:
Sun - Taurus
Moon - Taurus
Ascendant - Taurus
Venus in Cancer
I'm not sure what all of this means, my moms into astrology and immediately ran Kylee's chart the first chance she had.

Introducing

Kylee Rose
Have you ever seen a more perfect pair of cheeks? I think the cheeks alone make up half of her total body mass.

I am a very proud auntie.