This morning I went to the Susan G Komen Race For the Cure. I walked it. I do not run.
After the run, I mean walk, my friend and I went to lunch with her 4 year old son. As we're leaving the cafe, I'm hugging him goodbye in the parking lot when his hand accidentally gets caught in the neckline of my blouse and he copped a little bit of a feel. He put his hand back, patting my chest, saying "ooooohhhhhh. Whats this?".
I was all "Uhhhhhhhhhhhh?" and looking toward his mother for help because, really? I have no clue how to handle that situation.
So, lil' guys mom was all "Those are Vanessas doobs" apparently thats what he calls them, and yes he fully knows what they are and was just trying to play dumb/cute so he could cop a feel, "and they're not for you to touch. You don't get to play with doobs for a very long time."
And I'm all "Yeah kiddo, you've got about another 14, maybe 13, years before you can play with doobs"
And his mom is all "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Twenty! Thirty! Fourty! Years before he can play with doobs!"
And I'm all "Yeah, you can't play with doobs until you're your grandpas age"
and in my head I'm thinking "damn, I just said 13 or 14 because that would make him 17 or 18 years old and I thought that was a conservative estimate of his approximate age before he'd cop a feel on a girl and actually my gut reaction, which I quickly shot down, because I do have a LITTLE sense about me, was to say 10 years because I'm thinking 14 is probably the young side of average for a teenage boys first grope. Damn. I'm glad I didn't say that."