Before I Begin

First of all, let me apologize by saying that the "o" on my keyboard is a little wonky right now, so please forgive any typos.

Before I begin telling you about the goings on in my life for the past two months, I want to share some background.

Tonight I was able to catch the tail end of Oprah, where she had Dr. Oz as her guest. I saw a little bit of a family who had some children who were beginning to develop weight problems.

OH, how I could relate.

This family was taught healthy eating habits, the children were enrolled in tae kwon do classes and taught healthy eating habits as well as being shown positive self images.

This was where I was no longer able to relate.

When I was 10 years old, I'd started to put on some weight. Yes, I was overweight even back then. I was 4'10" and weighed 130 lbs. I was approximately 45 lbs overweight.
My family did not make any moves to help me develop positive eating habits at that young of age, they didn't help me to develop a positive self image or anything along those lines. My familiy essentially told me I was getting to fat and put me on Weight Watchers. At the age of 10.
Prior to this I was given the green light to drink bottle after bottle of orange soda all day long, then I was thrown to the opposite extreme of green salads with red wine vinegar and lowfat cottage cheese. Meanwhile, the rest of my family was still downing the sodas.
There was no effort made to make the household dinners healthier for everyone, I was just singled out with separate meals from everyone else, singled out at holiday gatherings out with public displays of how I was not allowed to eat what everyone else was eating regardless of how small the portion size. I was not taught healthy eating habits by my family, and I don't feel that Weight Watchers did either. Perhaps if my family had been more supportive the WW principles would have more educational, but the combination of my home life and WW did not create an environment in which healthy eating habits, healthy lifestyle and positive self image were encouraged.

As a result, my weight is something I have always struggled with. I've gone through periods where I didn't give a crap what I ate and basically binged for long periods of time. I've also gone to the opposite extreme where I've wondered if I would have been diagnosed as anorexic if a therapist were to have watched my actions. Granted, I never got down to a weight that was scary or that would cause any health concerns, but I was practicing some extremely unhealthy dietary habits.
I've never really learned the ultimate lesson here though. Its over 20 years later and I still alternate between extremes, never finding that happy medium.

I applaud the parents that were on Oprah today for taking the time to learn how to be healthier, AS A FAMILY, for not making any of their kids appear to feel singled out and ashamed of who they are but for making them want to be healthier. That was not an option that was presented to me at that age. Still I deal with self image issues, and struggle with trying to learn how to adjust my lifestyle and my eating habits so that they compliment one another.

Dr Oz's book may be one of my next purchases, but in the meantime I'm reading up on The French Diet by Dr Montegnac.