Technology I Want

We're all familiar with my technology killing skills, I've covered it ad nauseum. So much so that I'm not going to bother linking back to all of the individual instances... either that or I'm just too lazy to look up all of the past links. Potato, potatoh.
Anywhoosits, the curse has not been broken.
Back in April I reconciled to the fact that I could not afford the new MacBook of my dreams so I took a portion of my tax refund and purchased a cheap ass netbook. Seriously cheap - the thing was less than $300 with tax and everything and it worked like a dream. For two weeks. Seriously, two weeks. Then the thing wouldn't turn on. I took it back to Best Buy where they easily exchanged it for a new one of the same model. That one looked like a dream... for three months. Seriously, what the hell is wrong that everything technological I touch goes up in smoke... that reminds me, I have another computer story to tell you... you are going to shit.
So when the second netbook crapped out on me, I took it back to Best Buy. Unfortunately it was beyond the 30 day warranty through the store so they offered to run diagnostic on it... for $200. Thats right, two thirds of what I paid for the thing. If it was a software issue I would have to pony up whatever additional monies would be needed to fix it, and you know that would be in excess of $100, effectively paying for the thing ALL OVER AGAIN. However, if it was a hardware issue the netbook would be sent back to the manufacturer for them to either repair or replace and then I would have to try to get my $200 for the diagnostic back from the manufacturer. So far I've said screw it and the thing is being a very highly priced paperweight at this time.
Now, get ready to shit.
A while back my office was painted AND the carpets were replaced. Naturally, the office was rather smelly for a while from the paint and the carpet glue. Then a few weeks later I'm sitting at my desk and notice a weird chemically smell. It only lasted about 10 minutes, then went away. Then a few days later the smell comes back for just a few minutes, then goes away again. Since they were brief I thought that maybe they were residual odor from the carpet glue or something. Both times I just brushed it off. THEN one day the odor pops up again and doesn't go away, it keeps getting stronger. I finally turn to a manager who sits near me and ask "Do you smell this"?
He comes over to my desk and says "Holy crap, get away I think your computer is on fire - that smells like an electrical burn".
He runs off to get our facility guys.
I'm standing there trying to process this. My computers on fire? Bullshit. My computer can not possibly be ON FIRE. Seriously.
Our two facility guys show up, one of them pulls out the tower and the other one looks at the back of it and says "Crap!" and immediately just starts yanking out all of the various cords.
Apparently the exhaust fan thingy had died and my computer was doing some sort of slow electrical burn. Not exactly ON FIRE, but not exactly NOT on fire either.
So, my work computer was replaced and the one I have now is archaically slow. Seriously, what is it with me and faulty electronics?

Anygeek, I've compiled a list of the four technological products I want. Any bets on how long it would take for me to kill all of them?

iPod Touch

Ahhhh.... 64GB of music, game, and app goodness.
The benefits of an iPhone - apps, wifi, etc - without having to switch my phone carrier to AT&T.
It's only $399

MacBook Pro

15" anti-glare wide screen display
3.06 GHz Intel Core 2 Duo Processor
4GB memory
500GB Serial ATA Hard Drive
Remote
3 year protection plan (Because, seriously, if ANYONE needs a protection plan for their computer, it would be me)
This gems only $3,067 (with the protection plan and upgrades)

Nikon D5000

12.3 MP of Nikon goodness with a nifty flip out swively display for $679

Roku

Streaming my Netflix AND Amazon Video on demand? Aaaaaaawesome! I could watch the current season of Dexter without paying for premium cable! Saweeeeet!
All for just $99!

So, it all adds up to just $4,244. Why the hell can't I win the Lottery?