Equal Opportunity Snarker

I've been accused of being a sarcastic smart-ass with my friends and coworkers. Snarky, if you will.
Tuesday I told one of the managers at my work the following story. I told him this as a demonstration that I DON'T save up all of my sarcastic comments for the sales reps that I support.

Tuesday morning I had to wake up at the ass crack of dawn to take my mom to the hospital for surgery on her wrist. She has severe carpal tunnel syndrome, in both arms, and has had numerous surgeries, on both arms, over the years.

We leave for the "ambulatory clinic" where she is scheduled to have the surgery. I'm to drop her off before I go to work, and Granny would be picking her up when the surgery is finished. I have no idea where we're going, all I know is that the clinic is in Folsom. I trust that my mother, the one who scheduled the surgery, knows where she is supposed to be.
As we approach Folsom she tells me the general vicinity of where it is so that I can be headed in the right direction. We get to the general area and I ask her where we're supposed to go next.
Mom "They said to go straight through a couple of lights and turn left."
So I go straight.
Me "Um, are we supposed to be going over the highway?"
Mom "I'm not sure"
Me "Because we are, and theres absolutely nothing out this way."
Mom "Well I told her that I knew where the clinics at that last intersection were and she told me to go through a couple of lights and turn left."
Me "But there are 4 different directions from which you can approach any given intersection."
Mom "I told them I was coming from Roseville."
Me "So, that only narrows it down to two different directions. Whats the address for the place"
Mom "I don't know."
Me "You don't know? Don't you have it with you?"
Mom "No. I left the address with Grandma"
Me "Well, do you at least know the name of the street its on?"
Mom "No. But I think it starts with a P."
Me. "You THINK? How...? What...? OH. MY. GOD."
In frustration, I pull over to the side of the road to call Grandma for the address. Thankfully my new phone (Sprints bastardized version of the iPhone) has navigation so I'm able to plug in the address and get us there, only a few minutes late.
I drop mom off in front of the clinic and pull away. As I'm turning out of the parking lot I look up in my rearview mirror to see my mom standing outside the clinic, staring at me. So, I pull around to see what she needs.
Mom "I dropped the check for my co-pay somewhere"
She starts digging through my car - my car is a disaster. There are empty packs of cigarettes, coffee cups, water bottles, etc. all over the floorboard of the passenger seat.
Me "You dropped it?"
Mom "Yes. I can't grip papers together with how bad the carpal tunnel is. THATS WHY I'M HAVING THE SURGERY"
Me "So, you know that you're unable to grip papers together yet you've got paperwork you have to give them PLUS the check for your co-pay"
Mom "Yes."
Me "Did you think that maybe since you have these papers and a check that you have to have with you that maybe you should've put them IN something?"
Mom "I can't take a purse or anything like that in to surgery, VA-NESS-A" (emphasize the 3 syllables there)
Me "LIKE AN EN-VEL-OPE MOTH-ER, so you don't lose your CHECK"
she looks at me blankly
Me "OR, better yet, why don't you safety pin the check to your shirt? ALONG WITH THE ADDRESS OF WHERE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE?"
Then she found the check, slammed my car door, and stomped off.

Where I've Been

Nowhere interesting, really.

Work has been challenging lately. Since January there have been FOUR rounds of layoffs. The third round had a great impact on me - 25% of my department was affected including my counterparts. I am the only person left in my position in Northern California/Western Nevada. I won't lie, its scary. As flattered as I am that I was not laid off (the decision was based upon "dependability, knowledge, and tenure") its still scary - in theory they could eliminate my position entirely any day now.

With the job market being what it is, I couldn't really count on finding another job right away if I were to be laid off so I've been thinking that my best option would be to market my photography more aggressively in the hopes that I can pick up some more jobs.
The photography is something I've been doing half assed for a few years now. I've never really gone out in search of jobs, just gotten them as referrals from previous jobs I've done. Add to this the fact that I do not have a studio, and know absolutely NOTHING about marketing, and I'm basically just stumbling through what my options are.
I'm going to revamp my website, Photography by Vanessa, I haven't been thrilled with it for a while now and now I have some motivation to REALLY get in there and expand it.
I'm working on putting together some packages to appeal to graduating high school seniors and possibly new mothers. I already have some packages on there for weddings and family portraits - any other suggestions?

I've taken some photos of family members recently to use in promotional materials. This is what I've been using as promotional material for close to a year:


I'm going to update it with some more recent photos. These are just a couple of the images I'm considering. Theres still more recent ones on my camera that I need to go through.



Looking at these, i realize that I still need to add some BABIES! I'm going to get some of my niece who is two years old now, but I need BABIES!

I have a couple of jobs lined up - a wedding in a couple of weeks up in Lake Tahoe that I am really looking forward to. The ceremony is going to be on the beach so I should be able to get some beautiful images there, then my plan is too drive the perimeter of the lake on the way home and hopefully get some good photos that I can sell to a stock photography company.

UPDATED TO ADD
Oh my heavens I WANT one of these camera straps. Seriously, there are about 5 or 6 of them that I would have a HARD time selecting from.