Yes, it is Nessacery

Tempted to Write a Thank You Letter...

2011-01-25T00:43:00.000-08:00

I have never been tempted to write a thank you letter to a stranger before today.

Call me schmaltzy, overly-sentimental, whatever.
I am very tempted to write a thank you letter to Oprah.

On yesterdays episode of Oprah, she revealed that she had an unknown half-sister.

In the announcement of her sister, Patricia, Oprah recognized that Patricia had reservations about contacting her birth family because of how it could potentially affect he half siblings.
That recognition, combined with Oprahs openness and receptiveness is what has me considering writing a thank you letter.
Nineteen years ago (almost to the day!) I contacted my birth fathers family. Prior to making contact a number of factors crossed my mind. Obviously, the first was to prepare myself for the worst case scenario - potentially having the door literally slammed in my face. However, my largest concern was the effect that my sudden presence would have upon any family that my father had - a wife, young children. The possibility of disrupting the lives of small children was what gave me the most hesitation. My own questions of my family origins had distressed me enough that I did not want to potentially cause that kind of emotional stress and anxiety upon any other kids. Ultimately, I overcame those fears and hesitations and made contact with my paternal family - a story that I think is due to be shared in very short order.

But first, I want to say thank you to Oprah. Thank you for showing the world a level of openness and understanding that gives children, even adult children, permission to find their families.

2010-12-30T22:47:00.001-08:00

know what sucks? when your dog sleeps on your case-less pillow (doing laundry) so your pillow smells like dog and you cant sleep on a pillow that smells like dog, so you put it in the washer. After that, you put it in the dryer... because pillows should be dry, right? And you're walking to the dryer thinking how tonight you're going to have a nice, warm, toasty pillow to rest your weary head upon. Once you open the dryer you see a scene that looks like a flock of geese have been murdered and only then do you remember that the pillow was down-filled.

Should "Fatties" Get a Voice?

2010-10-27T22:52:00.000-07:00

The entire blogosphere is in an uproar over the recent article by Maura Kelly on Marie Claires website.

If you have not read it already, please take a few moments to do so.

A lot of people are quite upset with Ms. Kelly right now. I've read a number of blog entries, and subsequent comments, revealing her home address and phone number because people are so angry with her for voicing her opinion.

I will say right now that vilifying someone for their personal opinion is NOT okay. I'm not saying that I'm completely innocent in that regard, I've had my own moments of knee jerk reactions to certain topics and have lambasted someone for their opinion, but I will say that publicizing someones home address, and/or phone number, is not okay with me and if by some chance it is done via my blog, I will immediately delete your comment.

Now, on to my own personal diatribe....

I have never hidden the fact that I am overweight. By any standard I would be considered morbidly obese. I recognize this and I offer zero apologies for it. However, I do not expect every person on this planet to find my physical appearance to be "aesthetically pleasing." I have struggled with my own weight. When I've battled it, I've literally starved myself to get to a size 12 - and when I've accepted it, I've worked as a plus sized model in a size 14.

A persons weight is a personal issue. I may be the size that I am because of genetics, because of poor personal choices, or because of physical limitations. Does it really matter what the reason is? If I am the size I am because of a genetic disorder rather than poor personal choices does that have an affect upon how aesthetically pleasing someone finds me to be? No.

I want to clarify, in case I haven't already, that I feel no ill will towards Ms. Kelly. She has been open about her own issues of body dysmorphia, her own struggles with anorexia, her own challenges regarding her weight and body issues. While it may sound like she has her personal issue under control, and I say that with very little certainty since I don't know her, I believe that she is at least still projecting her feelings regarding weight onto others.

Where I feel contempt is towards the editors of Marie Claire magazine.

Many years ago I was the news editor for my college newspaper. I never went into that position jockeying for it, eyeing for a career in journalism. I simply turned in my assignments, unbiased, pre-edited, and was given the position because of my performance. However, I assumed the position of news editor and exercised it to the best of my ability. I edited the articles submitted by other writers. I corrected typos and blatant grammatical errors, and when an article came my way that was blatantly biased and prejudiced, I returned it to the writer and told them that it was unacceptable.

Editors hold a position of responsibility; not only of ensuring that their writers are completing their assignments, but also of ensuring that the articles published are of an acceptable material for their audience. Editors are in the position they are in because they, supposedly, have proven that they know their audience and what is expected of a writer of their genre. Ms Kelly's editor fell short of their duties. While Ms Kelly is entitled to her opinion, her editor is in the position to go back to her and say "The average American woman is at least overweight, if not obese. We can not alienate our market. Please rewrite."
This should have been an especially obvious revelation considering the public reaction to the nude photo of Lizzi Miller in Glamour magazine in 2009.

For those who do not know, Lizzi Miller was featured, practically nude!, in the September 2009 issue of Glamour magazine. Upon publication, Glamours editor-in-chief received emails saying things such as "I am gasping with delight...I love the woman on p 194!"

Lizzi Millers photo IS beautiful. Yes, she wears a size 12-14, BUT Glamours audience found her to be "Gorgeous!" and I agree. Lizzi IS gorgeous. Looking at her photo, she has what you could describe as "rolls," she has a stomach - a "pooch," she has stretch marks, and most importantly, she has a beautiful smile and a radiance about her.

Todays woman is many sizes. She is thin and waif like. She is athletic. She is curvy. She is voluptuous. And, yes, she can be obese; even morbidly so.
BUT, todays woman is also many other things. She is a mother. She is a professional. She is a homemaker. She is girlfriend, a wife, a lover. She is a sister. She is a cousin. She is an aunt. She is a reader and a consumer. She may very well be a subscriber to Marie Claire magazine.
It is because of this that the editors of Marie Claire hold the responsibility that their articles do not offend their audience.
Their audience is a that of a growingly large population - both literally, and figuratively. As we increasingly become a nation of diversity, products which depend upon us for success hold the responsibility of not alienating us - whether we're waif like, athletic, curvy, voluptuous, or obese.

To get back to Ms Kelly.
In short, I feel sorry for her. She projected her bias onto the general public, and now she will most likely feel the professional ramifications. I feel sorry for her because while it sounds like her personal demons regarding weight have been reigned in, it does not sound as though they have been silenced.
I feel sorry for her because she will, most likely, constantly feel the pull to go to the gym rather than to go for a night out with her girlfriends. I doubt that Ms Kelly will ever feel the freedom of enjoying who she is, regardless of those few extra pounds. I doubt that she will ever be nude with a man for the first time and not feel ashamed of that fold at her hip. I doubt that she will ever not be aware of the crease of her breast. I doubt that she will ever accept that dimple of cellulite on the back of her thigh.

It is because of that that I feel sorry for her.

There is a freedom that comes with accepting who you are, and who every woman is,... every single god forsaking pound of it.

When you accept that last pound, that last roll, that last fold, that last crease, and that last dimple, there is a liberation. A liberation that allows you to enjoy life. A liberation that allows you to take off for Italy rather than join a gym. A liberation that allows you to have another glass of wine with your friends instead of running around a track for an hour. A liberation that allows you to love yourself, and others, because of your flaws rather than in spite of them.

I hope that Ms Kelly is able to, one day, find that peace, acceptance, and love within herself. It took a LONG time, but I was eventually able to find it, and I have never ever ever been happier.

Vanessa

Bringing Crafty Back.... or maybe just thinking about it.

2010-10-04T22:43:00.000-07:00

In the last year I've lost my craft groove.
I used to come home from work and after I'd fixed dinner and did the dishes, I'd sit back and knit or crochet while watching TV or a movie.
Lately I've been wasting time on facebook instead.
In some ways I miss it - I miss producing things to give as gifts to the people dear to me. However, my bank account doesn't miss is since I used to spend WAY WAY WAY to much money on yarn and other crafty accouterments.
Some recent projects on Knitty have caught my eye though and may inspire a bit of a return to the needles.

I love these sweaters, the first one especially, and can picture myself wearing each of them. I'm wondering if I could finish one in time for my upcoming trip to Italy. Doubtful, but possibly worth a try.

These scarves and hat are pretty cute... and a lot more likely to be accomplished in time for my trip.

Pipe Dreams

2010-09-30T23:11:00.000-07:00

Back In August I had the opportunity to visit my family in Oregon for the wedding of my younger cousin, Jenny.
The night of the wedding - after everyone had left, and it was just us family sitting around - my other cousin Josh started picking my travel brain. He wants to backpack through Europe with his girlfriend in the next year or two and wanted to know where I've been and what I thought of each country.
Ireland - so lush and beautiful, welcoming, old world like in many ways. A must see for those of us with ancestral ties.
western Germany - the people can be a bit uptight (sorry Germans!), but still a trip that I enjoyed overall. Great food, fantastic beer.
Paris - beautifully romantic, great food, delicious wine, amazing artworks, friendly people.
Venice & Florence - romantically beautiful, beautiful cathedrals, delectable gelato, great wine, friendly and welcoming people.
London - captivating history, some really good free museums, watching the Changing of the Guards at Buckingham Palace is something everyone should see in their lifetime.
Then he asked me where I would go back to visit again. I told him obviously Italy since I'm going again in November, but ultimately I would want to revisit any of the countries I've been to. Yes, even Germany.
Frustrated that I couldn't say there was one definite, absolute, hands-down, without a doubt, favorite Josh asked me which country I would be willing to live in.
That made me stop and really think. If I were to move to Europe, where would I want to live?
I've often thought of what I would do if I came into a sudden windfall of cash, and that fantasy always involved an extended visit to Europe. Traveling through all of the countries I've already been to, plus several more. I've imagined flying into Ireland and spending a couple of weeks there, visiting England and Scotland. Visit the home of some of my other ancestors: Norway. Spend a couple of weeks in France: explore more of Paris, go wine-tasting in the Bordeaux region, swim in the Mediterranean off the coast of Nice. See the cathedrals in Spain. Go back to Italy - do a little window shopping in Milan, have real pizza in Naples, ride a Gondola in Venice. See more of Germany - Oktoberfest in Munich, touch the remnants of The Wall, visit Auschwitz and mourn the loss of possibilities. Explore the ruins in Greece. I could go on forever about what I would do with three or four months in Europe.
But, Josh got me thinking of living there and I was surprised at how quickly I was able to answer. I said that while I did enjoy Germany overall, that is one place that I don't think I would want to live. I could see myself spending extended periods of time in London or Paris. But for living - maybe a vacation/retirement home - it would have to be either Ireland or Italy. Ireland would definitely have the advantage in the language department. Meaning, I wouldn't have to learn one. However, Italy has a vibrancy to it that is very attractive.

When I got home from Oregon I started looking at international real estate listings. Why? I have no clue. But for those first two weeks that I was home I was obsessively looking online during my spare time and Italy started edging out Ireland, simply because the Italian real estate market seems to have some VERY depressed regions right now while Irelands appears to be holding fairly strong.
Specifically, theres one region about an hour north of Florence that has some amazing deals and I found a number of listings that really caught my eye. Yes, many of them need extensive renovations, but some of them need minimal refurbishing.
I don't have any kind of down payment set aside to actualize a dream like this, but its inspiring to know that its not unattainable in the long run. Its given me
something more to work towards than my next international vacation. Some of the properties I favored
This one is a former sawmill on a creek... for $329,000

This one needs a lot of work, BUT it has olive trees AND a mature working vineyard which produces 7,000 litres of wine per year. For $395,000

But, this is the one that REALLY piqued my interest. In need of minimal work, its ready to move in and is livable. For $47,500!

Its given me a long term goal. Someplace I dream I could take friends and family to, a place to introduce my niece and younger cousins to the culture of a country other than our own, an "Under the Tuscan Sun" type fantasy to hopefully live out one day.

I need to set up a savings account for this pipe dream.... or, win the lotto.

A Decade.

2010-07-08T23:32:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, July 10, marks ten years at my current job. I must say that I'm a bit dumbfounded. I can not believe that I have been with this company for a decade.

When I started this job, I truly felt that I was in over my head. For the previous five years I had worked in call centers for a large shipping company. While I enjoyed the perks (free flights on the companies airplanes!) I had grown to really dislike my job. I basically dreaded going in to work every day. There was no challenge to it - other than not calling the woman who burst into tears, hyperventilating!, because her new cell phone would be delayed by a day a loser.
So, I posted my resume online and really didn't know what to expect from there.
I got a bunch of calls from temp agencies, which I had ZERO interest in.
After a few months I got a call from the company I know work for... a payroll company. Completely and entirely different from what I had been doing.
I went ahead with the interview, was interviewed twice on the same day by two different managers and both told me that the learning curve for this job was on average 18 months.
Psshh, I thought. They're just trying to scare off the slackers.
A few days later I got the call with the job offer. I started a couple of weeks later.
After four weeks of training here in town I had two weeks of training in the corporate offices back on the east coast and came back to work.

Some days it feels like I've been at this job for two years, others it feels like twenty.
Either way, I'm still a bit amazed that I've stuck through ten years there.

Home Office

2010-06-17T00:44:00.000-07:00

I'm contemplating setting up a home office. Yes, we currently have a tv/computer room with the family desktop computer that everyone has access to, but I'm contemplating setting up one of my own. You see, I'm looking into somehow managing a work from home/telecommute option with my employer and if I succeed in doing this I will need a dedicated "work area" for my work computer and printer and everything that goes along with it. A set up that wouldn't be for the use of anyone who comes over.
Of course, this requires some window shopping for a desk, file cabinet, book case, etc. Granted, I recognize that this is all my dream set up. Ideal for if I had a couple of extra buckets of cash at my disposal and no need to be mindful of a budget for all of this furniture and decor. I looked at various office collections; desks, file cabinets, bookshelves and printer stands. Ultimately I found this office that summarized what I would like almost to the last detail - the only exception being that I would prefer the desk and shelving and whatnot to be in black rather than white - greater contrast against the walls.

Doesn't it look lovely? Wouldn't that be a beautiful office to work in every day?
In all actually, I won't orchestrate a set up like this one. I'm sure that I'll end up repurposing existing furniture and I doubt that I'll be redecorating the walls with the bright colors and floral motifs like the office above, but if I'm able to orchestrate a scenario in which I can work from home I will make the set up as aesthetically pleasing as possible.

Helmet Shopping, Part Deux...

2010-06-17T00:40:00.000-07:00

I went with this one.

It best coordinates with my scooter.

Helmet Shopping

2010-06-07T02:07:00.000-07:00

I've had my scooter a little over 3 weeks now and have already put over 400 miles on it. I absolutely love it, my only regret is that I was not able to get one years ago.

However, I am thinking of getting a new helmet. The one I have now is just... blah. I want something cuter and this is the top contender:

It would coordinate well with my scooter, and I like the shield across the eyes to block the wind from drying my eyes out.

However, I like these too. I especially like how ridiculous the first one is.

Alright, STOP! Scooter time!

2010-05-18T21:45:00.000-07:00

For years now I have whined about my want of a scooter ad nauseum... in fact, it was one of my very first posts on this blog.
Honestly, I've wanted one for somewhere between seven and eight years now. Initially I was wanting a Vespa - primarily because I was unaware of any other brands that had the similar retro styling and I'm not a fan of the more modern body styles. For lack of a better term, they look "buggy" to me. BUT, Vespas come with a price tag that is a bit too high for me.
Approximately two years ago I was told about a cycle shop here in town that carries a brand of Chinese scooter that is comparable to a Vespa for less than half the price. That was when the want for a scooter started increasing exponentially. Suddenly, there was one in my price range. BUT, I couldn't get one right away. I had international trips to take, a new car to buy, laptops to purchase. The stars just weren't lined up.
In the past month I started seeing more and more and more scooters around Sacramento. Not only downtown, where they've always been, but also where I live - out in the suburbs. I started seriously looking at getting a scooter again. Then I remembered that I had a LITTLE bit of stock in my employer that I could sell that would pay for
1 the scooter along with all taxes, titles, registration, blah blah blah.
2 the first years insurance
3 motorcycle safety and skills training course
4 the DMV fee for my M1 motorcycle license permit

I was STOKED, so about less than two weeks ago I arrange to take this past Thursday and Friday off from work so that I can go to the DMV on Thursday to take the M1 permit test, and Friday I can go get the scooter.
Then, the very day that I'd arranged for the time off from work the brakes on my car start sounding like a rumble of thunder. I go to Les Schwab where I'd had the brakes repaired less than a year before. Where they were still under warranty. Since they were under warranty I was figuring that this little issue wouldn't cost me any money, but I was still highly annoyed because I'd only gotten half of the warranty out of the brakes. The brakes were replaced at no charge... BUT (you knew there would be a "but", didn't you?) the servicing revealed a few other issues. Issues such as rotors that were worn down to the point that they couldn't be turned. Issues such as front tires that were so worn the inner cords were exposed and rear tires that were starting t separate along the inner walls. Issues that ended up costing me a smidge over $600. Issues that PISSED. ME. OFF. I was glad that I had the money in my savings account to pay for these repairs, pissed because that $600 came out of my scooter fund.
After the initial annoyance wore off, I reevaluated my finances and saw that I could still afford the scooter itself and the M1 permit, with some funding from my regular paycheck. The insurance I could arrange the monthly payments, and I could put off the safety course for a couple weeks.
Thursday I slept in a bit and went to the DMV where I got my M1 permit. Okay, okay, I didn't just, poof, get the permit. I had to take the test... twice. I failed the first test because I had not studied the DMV motorcycle handbook well enough.
Friday I slept in again before heading down to the scooter shop. I had looked at the shops website as well as some ads they had posted on Craigslist and had seen a really cute two-tone pink and white scooter that I thought would be perfect for me. I pulled up to the shop and there it was, my pink and white scooter, sitting right up front. I walked into the shop right as another woman was being handed the keys to my pink and white scooter. DAMMIT! If only I hadn't sat and had that cup of coffee with my mom and grandma! So, I looked around the shop and ultimately chose this scooter:

Ultimately, I think its better that I got this scooter rather than the pink one. If I do ever want to sell the thing it would probably be easier to find a buyer for this color than for the pink one. Plus, its fitting. My very first car was a VW bug that was a slightly darker shade of this same color green so its only appropriate that my first scooter be the same color, right?
So, I bought my scooter on Friday afternoon. I emptied my liquid savings and arranged to return the next day to pick it up. I didn't take it home that day for a couple reasons
1 - I wanted the trunk on the back and they needed to attach one for me
2 - I'd driven myself out there and didn't have anyone with me to drive my car home
3 - I was wearing flip flops - NOT good footwear for scooting.
After buying the scooter I go down to my pub to visit with some friends. While eating a pretzel (A PRETZEL!!!!) I break a tooth. We're not talking just a little chip here. I broke off an entire corner of a molar. I'm going to need at least a crown if not an entire root canal... and I just emptied all of my liquid savings. Perfect timing, right?
Saturday morning I get up and have my mom take me to pick up my scooter. I love it. I absolutely love it.
You know who else loves it? My niece, Kylee

Shortly after I took this photo, Kylee looked up at me and said "I need your keys"
"Really"
"And helmet"
(she is all about safety, you know)

"what do you need my keys and helmet for?"
"I go for ride now"
"Baby bear, you're not taking my scooter for a ride"
and, I swear, hand to heaven, that the following was said with a fifteen-year-old-esque sigh and eye roll
"Auntie Nessa"
Like I'm being ridiculous for not allowing her to take the scooter for a spin around the block.

So, I scooted all over town this weekend and I took it in to work this morning. I absolutely love it. I can see why scooter riders love them so much. I can see why some people are so romanced by the ride to make cross country trips... on a scooter!
The only things I miss about not being in a car?
1 - drinking my coffee
2 - smoking a cigarette or three
3 - singing along with my iPod

And the gas mileage? HOLY COW! Saturday I put $2 worth of premium in the tank - thats a little less than 2/3 of a gallon. I have gone 65 miles on that $2 of gas!
This insurance? Before I got the insurance I spoke with some friends and coworkers who have motorcycles. I was thinking I would be paying somewhere in the neighborhood of $15-20 per month. Wrong. Its only $8.49 and that will go down when I take the safety course.

The Long and the Short Of It....

2010-05-04T22:48:00.000-07:00

The SHORT answer, Kylee is perfectly fine.

Just like the day she was born. Innocent, and lovely.

The LONG answer:

A neurologist took a look at her MRI's. He doesn't think she has cerebral palsy. He said that it can be common for premies (Kylee was born at 36 weeks) to have spots of white matter on their brain that show in an MRI, but while it is still within the realm of possibility, he doesn't think Kylee has CP. TO rule it out beyond a reasonable doubt would involve subjecting Kylee to a battery of tests and procedures that could span the next couple of months and that IF, if, she did have Cp it is the mildest form possible and that since CP is not a progressive disease she would never experience any manifestations of the disease and that there is nothing to be concerned about.
My sister has opted to not subject Kylee to any further testing at this point, accepting the doctors diagnosis.
It does make sense, my rational mind tells me that any symptoms of CP would have shown by now, that my niece is wonderful and amazing and glorious.
My paranoid, anxiety ridden, pessimistic, hypochondriac side will be watching my niece for the next 5 years and personally dragging her back to the neurologists if the littlest symptom of a symptom presents itself.

I Spoke Too Soon

2010-04-08T19:58:00.001-07:00

I need to quit doing that - speaking too soon. Tempting fate. Jinxing myself.

So, I just said that family drama has been relatively low key. But, of course, something always HAS to be happening, right?

You've all seen photos of my niece. You've read of my adoration of her. I love the heck out of this little girl.

She is my angel.

She has a slightly lazy eye - her left - not very noticeable, minor. In the photo below you can KINDA see it.

A few weeks ago a Dr looked a the eye and determined that she has an underdeveloped optic nerve. In addition to the nerve itself, was concerned about the effect that it could have on her pituitary gland and scheduled an MRI for this past Monday to see if the pituitary gland is effected.
Yesterday we got the preliminary results - the pituitary gland is NOT affected. Then we heard news that was not on our radar. No where near it.
The MRI showed a small spot of "white matter" on her brain which can be indicative of Cerebral Palsy.
So, now we have to wait another two-and-a-half weeks for the follow up with the doctor.
The little we know now is that the spot is VERY small - if she does have Cerebral Palsy it is very minimal. We are trying to be optimistic that she doesn't have CP because the doctor told my sister that signs typically present by age three and Kylee will be three next month. She hasn't presented with any of the typical signs of CP other than she is a bit clumsy and stumbles often; which could be either mild CP presenting itself OR typical toddler clumsiness.

The next couple weeks are going to be nerve wracking.

Where have I been and what have I been up to?

2010-03-31T02:02:00.000-07:00

A whole 'lotta nothin', really.

Work has been crazy and family drama has been remarkably low key.

I do think that THREE months without blogging is a new record for me... I'm not sure that I've ever been absent for this long before.

The New Year has come and gone, I stayed home because I didn't want to be out on the road with a bunch of drunks. Also, I did not make any resolutions... because I tend to not fulfill them very well. I did consider making some resolutions but ultimately decided against it.... because I forgot.

However... there is SOME interesting news.

I FINALLY got my new MacBookPro AND an iPod Touch! I must say... I am in LOVE. Steve has almost redeemed himself in my eyes. Almost. The only thing he needs to do to completely redeem himself is to finally live up to the consistent rumor that the iPhone will be available on carriers other than AT&T. The longer I have my iPod Touch, the more I want the iPhone. However, I've been a Sprint customer for nearly 10 years and am not willing to switch to AT&T... not even for the iPhone.

My First Attempt At Home Canning: FAIL

2009-12-25T17:58:00.000-08:00

Last week I attempted to make persimmon jam. This is a project that I mentioned briefly last month, and once there were finally enough fruits on the tree that were ripe enough, I set to it.

Now, there are two varieties of persimmons. The variety that most people are familiar with are called Fuyu - they're crisp, similar to apples or pears. During the late fall and early winter it wouldn't be too uncommon to see these at local farmers markets.

This is not the variety of tree that I have.

The variety that I have are called Hachiya. It would be unlikely to be familiar with this variety of persimmon unless you, or a neighbor, have a tree in your yard. The reason why they're not well none is simple: they do NOT transport well.
When a Hachiya persimmon is ripe it is very very very soft - holding a ripe Hachiya persimmon feels a lot like you're holding a water balloon, and they squish incredibly easy. When squished, the fruit inside oozes everywhere - the pulp of a ripe persimmon has a bright orange jelly like consistency, and that bright orange pulp is a bear to get out of clothing!
An unripe Hachiya persimmon tastes disgusting. There is an astringent flavor to it that removes all moisture from your mouth. Hands down, biting into one has been one of the grossest tasting food experiences of my life. Seriously, I would rather eat blood pudding if I had to choose.
HOWEVER, when the Hachiya persimmon is ripe it is fantastic. It is sweet and smooth and has an apricot like flavor that is heavenly.
Since I have a tree FULL of fruit I decided to try making persimmon jam, figuring that since it already has a jelly like consistency it would be an easy first step into home canning. Last Saturday I picked some fruit and set out to make some jelly for Christmas gifts. I'd bought the jars and lids, sugar, everything I needed and had selected a recipe that looked very easy. All it called for was 2 quarts of persimmon pulp, 1 cup sugar, 1 cup orange juice and the zest from one orange.
I pulped the persimmons and took an initial taste test to ensure that I had not included any under ripe fruits - everything tasted fine so I mixed together all of the ingredients and started cooking the jam per the recipes instructions.
Once everything was looking like it was ready, I prepped the jars for filling and took one final taste test of the finished product. I am so glad that I took that final test before actually canning the jam.
The astringent taste was back with full force. It was disgusting. I spent several minutes spitting into the kitchen sink "I CAN'T GET THE TASTE OUT OF MY MOUTH!!!!!"

Why it was initially sweet and apricot like, then after cooking disgustingly astringent I did not know.

Since then I have done some research and found that Hachiya persimmons have high levels of tannins, which cause the initial astringency. Once they've been through at least one frost the tannins evaporate, leaving the sweet pulp. HOWEVER baking reintroduces the tannins, causing the astringent flavor to return.
A couple articles that I read said that when baking with Hachiyas, the use of baking soda will offset the reintroduction of the tannins and effectively prevent the astringent taste from returning. But, I'm wondering if baking soda could be used when making a jam or chutney (yes, I found a chutney recipe using persimmons that sounded amazing and that I planned on making after the jam).

So, I'm left with all of the canning supplies but no canned product. I'm considering another attempt at canning and have found a couple of recipes that sounds great:
1 - pomegranate jelly
2 - strawberry balsamic jam
3 - cranberry tangerine chutney

I will admit that I am incredibly frustrated by this initial canning failure. I am fairly adept in the kitchen and I am very crafty. I frequently experiment with different recipes and crafts with various levels of success - some are fantastic and some are just okay. I am not accustomed to a complete and total failure. Part of my wants to throw in the towel, but the stubborn as hell part of me wants to keep trying until I get it right.

I think the fact that I've already lined up some additional recipes tells me that I'm going to continue with my attempts at home canning.

Window Shopping - IKEA

2009-12-08T23:42:00.000-08:00

I have finally come to the realization that I am in dire need of a new mattress. I have to admit that I am 33 years old and have never shopped for a mattress. My current mattress was a birthday gift. For my 18th birthday. Its 15 years old and I must also admit that I have not properly turned/flipped/rotated it as it should have been. As a result I don't sleep as well as I should and constantly find myself with back, neck, and shoulder aches.
I have heard that the temperpedic mattresses are amazing but I know that I can't afford one. So I went where all people on a budget go when shopping for home furnishings.... I went to IKEA's website to look at the prices and options. I also did a little window shopping for bedroom furniture, naturally. Currently my bedroom is a mishmash of various pieces that I've picked up here and there. NOTHING matches, nothing is the same style, era, or even color. It basically looks like a small version of the furniture section at your local Goodwill. Not that theres anything wrong with Goodwill furniture - my nightstand came from the Salvation Army.
So, I assembled the bedroom of my budget conscious dreams.
First, the bed. Naturally.

HEMNES. I like that its simple, and I like the black-brown stain. This could be adapted to a number of decorating styles by simply changing the colors and linens.

Next is what I think was one of the most ingenious finds on IKEAS website:
the SULTAN ALSARP FOUNDATION WITH STORAGE

A hollow foundation mattress which would be perfect for storing the heavier winter blankets or even my winter sweaters. Would it be a hassle to get to those winter blankets and put them away? Certainly - but it would also force me to flip/rotate/turn my top mattress on a regular basis. GENIUS!

Then theres the HEMNES STORAGE BENCH

which would look lovely at the foot of the bed, n'est ce pas? Storage for linens and such.

Of course there has to be a HEMNES NIGHTSTAND

for my reading lamp and current book.

In one corner would be the ALVE WORKSTATION

for the computer I don't currently have.

Underneath the window I would place the MARKOR BOOKCASE

and next to it the ALVE BOOKCASE WITH DRAWER

Yes, I do have that many books. Plus the drawer would be a great place to stash any current knitting or crochet projects.

Next to the bookshelves I would I have a cozy armchair, such as this EKTORP

with EKTORP FOOTSTOOL

I could sit in the chair while watching TV, work on my knitting projects, or read a book. Of course I'm certain that Cooper would think that at least the footstool, if not the chair, was his.

And last, but not least, we have yet ANOTHER book/DVD shelf. Yes, once again, I DO have THAT MANY DAMN BOOKS.
This one is the MARKOR

Of course there would also need to be a new wall mount flat screen... preferably 32" or more.
And no, I never did select a mattress. I'm figuring thats probably where my tax refund will go next spring, so I've got a couple months to comparison shop.

All of this furniture totals just $2,301.99, without taxes, not too bad for TEN pieces of furniture.

First Sewing Project

2009-12-01T19:10:00.000-08:00

I've selected my first sewing project, and its something for ME.

I'm making one of these aprons - apron D, actually. It's the one on the far right.

But, if you know me, you know that I can't make it in some cutesy homey fabric. I've got to go with something a little more funky... something a little rock n roll. I'm doing it with this fabric

I know, you can't wait to see the finished product. Neither can I!

Well, That's Settled

2009-11-27T07:40:00.000-08:00

Sooo, you know how I mentioned that I'd been thinking of learning how to sew? But that I didn't know if it was the best idea because I really don't NEED another hobby?

This past week Grandma had be dig into the depths of her closet to find something for her and in the process, I found her sewing machines. Which she hasn't used in about ten years and realistically won't use ever again.

Yeah, it's now my machine.

What should I sew first?

Linky Love

2009-11-25T12:49:00.000-08:00

I've been at home sick this week and when not napping, have been surfing the internet and watching Wifeswap reruns on Lifetime (don't judge!).
A few cooking, craft, and DIY projects that have intrigued me this week

Ladder pot rack from Woman's Day. I wish my kitchen could accomodate one of these.

Cabbage centerpieces from Real Simple. LOVE these - so cute.

Messenger bag made from plastic grocery bags courtesy of Ready Made. I may try to whip up one of these.

Army Blanket Bag at Ready Made. Decent gift idea for a man in your life.

Not exactly a DIY since its a kit, but I'm likin' this Cloudlight Headboard - too bad it wouldn't work with the style of my bedroom.

Love this watchface bracelet over at Ready Made.

These Pumpkin Bites at Bakerella are almost too cute to eat. Almost.

The Pumpkin-Apple-Pecan Pie is a genius idea over at Cakespy.

I've been admiring these Sun Jars over at Not Martha for a couple years.

Another project of Not Marthas that I've been admiring for a couple of years? Her marble magnets.

Because I Really Need Another Hobby

2009-11-19T19:03:00.000-08:00

I have too many hobbies. Knitting, crochet, beading, photography, cooking, baking, painting... I could go on and on.
I don't know why I have so many hobbies, I just decide to try something and then I jump in headfirst. Generally, I'll keep with it for a while and then put it down for anywhere from a month to a year while I move on to a new hobby, or revisit an old one.
For a couple years now I've been wanting to learn how to sew. The only reason I haven't is because I really do not need yet another hobby. Also, I do not need to accumulate the materials that go along with another hobby. I already have more yarn and beads than I know what to do with -- I don't have the shelf or drawer space that would be needed to accommodate the fabric, thread and notions that I know I would accumulate.
However, the desire to learn how to sew returned when I recently saw the following childrens clothing on Etsy.

So Not A Princess Dress

Evening Beauty Dress

Easter Delight Dress

They'd all be SO CUTE on my little niece!

Of course, I also found some pieces I found that I wouldn't mind making for myself.

Audrey Hepburn style circle skirt

Awesome Yoga Pants -- I LOVE yoga pants

The Desi Dress

Another "Audrey" style circle skirt

Russian Doll Cashmere Coat

Geek Girl Hoodie - I know, completely different from the above dresses and skirts

So, I'm contemplating learning to sew. I know that I could make any of these items for much less than what they are selling for - BUT, do I really need to take on another hobby?
I haven't done much in the way of knitting, crochet, or beading in a while so I'm wondering if the interest in taking on a new hobby is because I haven't been doing any of my current ones in so long.

Rethinking Old Traditions

2009-11-19T17:45:00.000-08:00

When I was younger I remember going shopping each fall for that years winter coat. It signaled the change of season, that Thanksgiving and Christmas weren't too far away, and neither were the breaks from school.
Grandma would take me to the store and I would try on various jackets and coats, picking out the perfect piece of outerwear for the season and I would generally be able to talk Grandma into getting me a couple of sweaters as well. After our shopping expedition, Grandma and I would go out to lunch before heading home. It was a ritual that most frequently just Grandma and I - something I looked forward to each year.
Now that I'm an adult and responsible for purchasing my own wardrobe, its a ritual that I've kept up for myself. Each year, right around Halloween, I usually start shopping around for a new winter coat or jacket. Some years I get something a little funky, some years I get something more basic and sensible. Some years I've gotten coats that were completely different than the previous years. Some years I've gotten a coat that was almost identical to the prior years purchase.
A couple weeks ago, my sister called me asking if I had any old clothing that I would be willing to donate to a new resident at her rehab house. A few nights before a new woman had joined their home and had come in with only the clothing on her back and she didn't have any family in the area to bring her clothing - it would be about 3 weeks before they would be able to come to Northern California and bring her anything.
It was perfect timing, really. I had just been thinking that I needed to go through my closets and dressers and clean out the clothing that either no longer fit, or that I just didn't wear anymore. I was debating between washing everything and putting it aside for a yard sale next spring, or just dropping it all off at the Goodwill. Between the options available, I decided that I would much rather give the clothing to women who are making genuine efforts to improving themselves, and who could use the items more.
In the midst of going through all of my clothing I realized exactly how many coats and jackets I have - its an insane amount. Even after taking FOUR coats up there, I still have at least SIX coats and jackets in my closets. Absolutely insane. I realized then that I have ZERO need to purchase a winter coat this year. I may never need to purchase a winter coat ever again. How much money have I spent on winter outerwear in the past few years? And how frequently do I wear each of those pieces? Not often enough to justify them all. Certainly not enough to justify buying another one this year.
However, I did still online browse this years options. This time, I did not purchase any and since I knew I would not be making any purchases I paid no attention to price. These were some of my favorites....

'Cause jam Don't Shake Like That...

2009-11-05T01:54:00.000-08:00

For the past few days I've been thinking about what crafts I should make this holiday season. Boy-oh-boy, do I have some ideas. Nope, not going to share just yet... can't spoil ALL of the surprises.

However, I do need a little help.

I've decided that one of the projects I am likely to undertake is making some jams and/or jellies. I've chosen one flavor solely based upon free access to a specific fruit tree, so that particular flavor I'm not divulging (one of the surprises!).
One of my many issues with all of my crafty endeavors is that I am not satisfied taking on just ONE project. Nope. If I'm going to make sugar scrub, there needs to be multiple scent options. The same standard applies with jellies --- I NEED to make more than just one flavor of jam/jelly. This is where you come in! I've selected thirteen different options and obviously I can't possibly make all thirteen PLUS the top secret flavor. I'm thinking I should only make three flavors... four, tops.
Please, take a moment to review the following flavors and select up to three of the options in the poll to the right.
Thank you, and have a good day!
Amaretto Peach Pecan Preserves*
Blushing Peach Jam (blushing = raspberry)
Caramel Apple Jam
Clementine Marmalade
Chocolate Raspberry Jam
Mango Butter
Mango Raspberry Jam
Pear Vanilla Jam
Pomegranate Jelly
Pumpkin Butter
Rosemary Orange Marmalade
Sangria Jelly*
Tangerine Marmalade

* All alcohol content will be cooked out during the preparation of the noted recipes.

PS - Holy cow am I going to be buying a boatload of sugar.

PPS - Am I out of my mind for deciding to try making my own jams and jellies when I've never canned anything on my own before? I tried making a marionberry jam with my grandma up in Oregon years ago but it never fully jelled. It was more like marionberry syrup. Now, that may have been due to the fact that my grandma wasn't the most fantastic cook in the world (she was decent, but not spectacular) or due to the fact that I was only twelve years old. Theres also the possibility that that particular project was the first sign that I suck at canning and just haven't tried to do it again since so I'm completely unaware that I do, in fact, suck at canning. AND are holiday gifts really the proper venue to discover that this is not something that I'm good at?

PPS - VOTE! NOW!

NaNo-Whatever-I'm-Not-Doing-It-Month

2009-11-03T00:43:00.000-08:00

I considered participating in NaBloPoMo.
I also considered participating in NaNoWriMo and NaKniSweMo.
But, lets get real - my posting here has been pretty spotty this year, I don't know how I'd keep up with daily posting for an entire month.
Writing a novel? Sure, I've got some ideas but have no idea how I would manage to write a 50,000 story (an average of 1,666 words per day) in a month.
Knitting a sweater in a month? Definitely more feasible, but I tried that a couple of years ago. Note, I said that I tried. Back in 2006 I started to knit this sweater. I got the back completed and the front started, then put the sweater down when I started having some major car problems and was doing some extensive car shopping which led to the purchase of the car I have now. Anyways, I put the front of the sweater down and now I couldn't tell you where I stopped in the pattern or even what size I was working on. The pieces are sitting in a box with some of the yarn I purchased to make the sweater. Yes, some. Cooper got his little paws on a few of the skeins and since he seems to think he's part cat and loves to play with yarn, he tore all over the house with a couple of skeins, effectively destroying them. So, I don't even have all of the yarn to finish the blasted sweater if I wanted to.
Ultimately I decided against NaKniSweMo this year not because I had failed in completing the challenge in the past, but because I have got SO DAMN MUCH going on in my life right now. Basically its the same of everything that I've been dealing with for the past three months, plus gearing up for the holidays, plus I'm FINALLY taking a vacation this month.
Yes, I have not had a vacation since my trip to London a year and a half ago. So, a couple months ago a few of my girlfriends and I decided that it was time for a vacation and we decided upon New Orleans. Yes, history and culture was part of the reason why we chose New Orleans - we want to see the plantations, the cemeteries, the musicians, the parks. And yes, the lack of an open container law was a slight factor in the decision. At least it was for me.
I went to New Orleans a little over five years ago and did get to see a lot of it. However, I was there to take my 13-year-old cousin to a karate tournament so I did not get to see everything I wanted to. There were 2 or 3 plantations that I wanted to see - after the first one she was all "meh, I've had enough of plantations". Going out to eat was a pain too. I was looking forward to some amazing New Orleans fare - her reaction to most places was "thats too cuisiney. Can't we go to Wendys?"
And forget hitting Bourbon Street at night.
I also didn't get to see any of the cemeteries because I had read all of these travel guides stating how incredibly dangerous the cemeteries are and that there are muggers throughout them and you're putting yourself in grave (pun not intended) danger going through them if you're not with a group. As a result, even with a group, I was not comfortable with the idea of taking my baby cousin into the cemeteries.
Now I am going with a group of three other adult women so I KNOW I will have a fantastic trip.
Yes, I am a little sad that I am staying in the US - I would have LOVED to have collected another stamp in my passport, but finances are a little tight so a trip to Europe would have been a hardship.
Also, its November, I've got to get geared up for Christmas - there are a lot of crafts for me to get started on. Christmas is less than two months away and I haven't even decided what crafts I'm going to make this year. Sure, I've got a few ideas on what I can do, but nothing that I've definitely decided upon yet.
This last point makes me wonder WHY all of this Na-whatever-whatever-Mo projects are in November? Seriously? People are stressed over the holidays rapidly approaching as it is. Why add a project of any of these magnitudes to your plate at this time of year?
NaNoWriMo? In my opinion, thats a project for January. In January people are recuperating from the holidays - mentally, emotionally, and financially. What better time to hole up at home with your laptop and a cup of cocoa to flex your creative muscles? None I tell ya, NONE!
NaBloPoMo? Thats something for the springtime - you're out doing stuff after a winter of staying in where its warm. Much more blog fodder in my opinion.
NaKniSweMo? That should be a September project... maybe October. Think about it - you want to knit a new sweater for the winter? Do it in September or October so that you have it for November when things start to get a little chilly. With the exception of this year. This year IS unseasonably warm for November.
So, this November, I am protesting. I am not participating, and not going to attempt to participate in any of these projects. I am going to go to New Orleans and have beignets and cafe au lait at Cafe Du Monde on the Mississippi River and drink Hurricanes out of to go cups from bars with walk up windows. I am going to take Cooper to the groomers tomorrow morning. I am going to try to get caught up on housekeeping before I leave for my trip. I am going to figure out what the heck I'm doing for my holiday crafts this year. I am going to work on a recipe that I'm formulating to enter in the Pillsbury Bake Off next spring. I am going to visit with my sister and my niece (I'm taking her to the zoo for the first time this Saturday. CAN'T WAIT). I'm going to find a new cake or pie recipe to make for Thanksgiving. I'm going to do what I would normally do without one of these challenges.

Koolickles & Poppy Seed Chicken

2009-10-19T22:54:00.000-07:00

One of my new favorite snacks are Koolickles.
My mom told me about this little treat after watching an episode of Alton Browns on the Food Network. She remembered that it called for "the big jar of dill pickles, two packets of cherry Kool-Aid, and a couple cups of sugar". Intrigued, I looked at the Food Networks website but wasn't able to find the recipe anywhere. So, I decided to wing it.
My first attempt at the Koolickles I just got a normal sized jar of dill pickle spears, dumped in one packet of cherry flavored kool-aid, some sugar (didn't measure), shook the jar until it was all well mixed, and put it in the fridge. They came out okay, Grandma liked them, but I wasn't overly impressed.
However, I did like them enough to give it another try. This time I decided to follow my moms loose recollection of the recipe a little closer and I got the big 80 ounce jar of dill pickle spears and two packets of cherry kool-aid. I removed all of the spears from the jar, leaving the brine, and added the packets of kool-aid. The only dilema was how much sugar to add. I decided to follow the guidelines on the kool-aid packets and added two cups, put the lid back on the jar and shook the heck out of it until it was all well mixed and it appeared as though the kool-aid and sugar were both completely dissolved. I put the spears back in the jar, and put it in the fridge. This was this past Friday night, I had my 9 year old cousin for the weekend and it was a fun project for us to do together.
Tonight, Monday, we sampled the Koolickles. HUGE hit. They were much better than the first batch even though they haven't sit for as long as is recommended. Before writing this post I decided to Google the recipe rather than to just rely upon the loose interpretation provided by my mother and found this recipe.

I know it sounds weird - cherry pickles - but trust, they are tasty. The only other variation I may try is to use Splenda in place of sugar because I'm sure my diabetic sister would like these.

The other cooking project I did with my younger cousin was my famous (okay, so its not really "famous", but my Grandma loves it as does my mom and now my younger cousin... so, its getting there) "Poppy Seed Chicken".
A while back I read a cooking tip that recommended using ranch dressing in place of an egg bath for homemade chicken nuggets. I thought that sounded delicious and was anxious to try it, BUT Grandma doesn't like ranch dressing. The only salad dressing that Grandma likes is Maries Creamy Poppyseed. A light bulb went off.
Take your chicken pieces (breast, thigh, leg, all work equally well - the only piece I haven't tried this with is wings) and sprinkle with sea salt and fresh ground pepper then place in a marinade of creamy poppyseed dressing - I use about 1/2 a bottle of Kraft brand simply because it's cheaper than the Maries brand. I typically allow this to marinade for about an hour.
Once the chicken pieces are done marinading, dredge the chicken pieces in a mixture of Italian Seasoning flavored bread crumbs and shredded parmesan cheese - the good stuff in the little tubs, not the crap in the can on the shelf in the pasta section...you should NEVER use that stuff for anything.
Bake the chicken on a cookie sheet. Heres where my grandma thinks I'm weird, when I cook meats of any kind I almost always start off at a low temperature, in this case 200F, for about 45 minutes, THEN I turn the heat up to 400F until the juices run clear when cut. I really need to time this some time - I think I cook it at 400F for another 30 minutes, but I could really be off here. The reason I start off with the lower temperature is that it seems to start the cooking process without drying out the meat. I read this technique somewhere and it stuck with me, I don't know how accurate it is but its worked well for me the majority of the time.
Whenever I make this chicken it gets rave reviews, my grandmother will talk about it for a couple of days afterwards. I think thats a clue that I need to start making it more frequently.

Technology I Want

2009-10-13T23:13:00.000-07:00

We're all familiar with my technology killing skills, I've covered it ad nauseum. So much so that I'm not going to bother linking back to all of the individual instances... either that or I'm just too lazy to look up all of the past links. Potato, potatoh.
Anywhoosits, the curse has not been broken.
Back in April I reconciled to the fact that I could not afford the new MacBook of my dreams so I took a portion of my tax refund and purchased a cheap ass netbook. Seriously cheap - the thing was less than $300 with tax and everything and it worked like a dream. For two weeks. Seriously, two weeks. Then the thing wouldn't turn on. I took it back to Best Buy where they easily exchanged it for a new one of the same model. That one looked like a dream... for three months. Seriously, what the hell is wrong that everything technological I touch goes up in smoke... that reminds me, I have another computer story to tell you... you are going to shit.
So when the second netbook crapped out on me, I took it back to Best Buy. Unfortunately it was beyond the 30 day warranty through the store so they offered to run diagnostic on it... for $200. Thats right, two thirds of what I paid for the thing. If it was a software issue I would have to pony up whatever additional monies would be needed to fix it, and you know that would be in excess of $100, effectively paying for the thing ALL OVER AGAIN. However, if it was a hardware issue the netbook would be sent back to the manufacturer for them to either repair or replace and then I would have to try to get my $200 for the diagnostic back from the manufacturer. So far I've said screw it and the thing is being a very highly priced paperweight at this time.
Now, get ready to shit.
A while back my office was painted AND the carpets were replaced. Naturally, the office was rather smelly for a while from the paint and the carpet glue. Then a few weeks later I'm sitting at my desk and notice a weird chemically smell. It only lasted about 10 minutes, then went away. Then a few days later the smell comes back for just a few minutes, then goes away again. Since they were brief I thought that maybe they were residual odor from the carpet glue or something. Both times I just brushed it off. THEN one day the odor pops up again and doesn't go away, it keeps getting stronger. I finally turn to a manager who sits near me and ask "Do you smell this"?
He comes over to my desk and says "Holy crap, get away I think your computer is on fire - that smells like an electrical burn".
He runs off to get our facility guys.
I'm standing there trying to process this. My computers on fire? Bullshit. My computer can not possibly be ON FIRE. Seriously.
Our two facility guys show up, one of them pulls out the tower and the other one looks at the back of it and says "Crap!" and immediately just starts yanking out all of the various cords.
Apparently the exhaust fan thingy had died and my computer was doing some sort of slow electrical burn. Not exactly ON FIRE, but not exactly NOT on fire either.
So, my work computer was replaced and the one I have now is archaically slow. Seriously, what is it with me and faulty electronics?

Anygeek, I've compiled a list of the four technological products I want. Any bets on how long it would take for me to kill all of them?

iPod Touch

Ahhhh.... 64GB of music, game, and app goodness.
The benefits of an iPhone - apps, wifi, etc - without having to switch my phone carrier to AT&T.
It's only $399

MacBook Pro

15" anti-glare wide screen display
3.06 GHz Intel Core 2 Duo Processor
4GB memory
500GB Serial ATA Hard Drive
Remote
3 year protection plan (Because, seriously, if ANYONE needs a protection plan for their computer, it would be me)
This gems only $3,067 (with the protection plan and upgrades)

Nikon D5000

12.3 MP of Nikon goodness with a nifty flip out swively display for $679

Roku

Streaming my Netflix AND Amazon Video on demand? Aaaaaaawesome! I could watch the current season of Dexter without paying for premium cable! Saweeeeet!
All for just $99!

So, it all adds up to just $4,244. Why the hell can't I win the Lottery?

Long Time, No Blog

2009-10-11T23:36:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I've been caught up in the middle of all of the drama with my niece.

I can't exactly say that things have gone badly, but I also can't say that they've gone the way that I wanted them to.

Kylee has been placed with her paternal great-aunt, she came down from Idaho for the time being and my mom and I get weekend visits.

My sister is doing well, she is in a residential rehab facility that is designed for women with children so there are other mothers there and a couple of them have their children in the house with them. My sister could potentially have Kylee in the house with her later down the road. I'll admit, at first I was a little apprehensive at the thought of Kylee going into a rehab house but I have met all of the women in the house and I am a little more comfortable with the thought of it now.
Overall, she is doing really well with her recovery - I am very proud of how far she has come so far and trust that she is on the right path to getting herself together to be reunited with her daughter and make a life for the two of them.
My nieces father is a different story. He was supposed to go into rehab the same day that my sister did but didn't check himself in until over a week later, and that was only after several people talked him into it. He was there less than two weeks until he just walked out one night and he has missed two court dates. He's supposed to have gone back into rehab over a week ago but still has not. I am very conflicted on this.
Overall, I know that as long as he continues the way he is that he will not be a good father to Kylee and that it may be better for him to not be involved in her life.
However, this makes me incredibly sad. I know firsthand what it is like to grow up without a father and I hate hate hate the thought of her going through that. I know what its like to wonder why he wasn't around, to track him down as a teenager, not knowing if he had a whole other family, not knowing if he would accept me or how my sudden appearance would affect this whole other hypothetical family and what their reaction to me would be. I really don't want Kylee to have to go through that. I hope that he gets his act together so that she doesn't have to go through that.

To leave you on a CUTE note, here are some of the ADORABLE photos I've taken of Kylee on a couple of our recent visits.

Loving Kylee

2009-08-03T21:57:00.000-07:00

Naturally, we can't go five minutes without some sort of drama in my family.
However, I think the most recent turn of events are the most horrific.

It was just a little over 2 years ago that I introduced all of you to my niece, Kylee Rose.

Isn't she just edible? Don't you just want to nom on those cheeks?
I adore her. She is one of the hugest blessings in my life.

Last Sunday morning, my sister, Kylee was taken in by child protective services and was placed in emergency confidential foster. My sister and her boyfriend had put their own drug addictions before the best interest and safety of their child.
My mother is try to get Kylee home with her, but the system is ridiculously slow. The soonest we can even be considered for long term placement of Kylee is after court next Wednesday. At that point the judge may give the order for CPS to go to my mothers home to assess it for placement and then we can proceed with trying to bring Kylee home. In the meantime, no extended family members - meaning no one aside from my sister or her boyfriend, can have visitation with Kylee.

There are several factors in this situation that are especially aggravating.
1 - How archaically slow the system is moving in general. IF the judge gives the order to have my mothers home assessed next Wednesday, the 12th, and CPS comes out to inspect it on Thursday, and we miraculously were able to bring Kylee home on Friday, that would be nearly three weeks that she had been gone away from her family - the family that she is safe with. I can only imagine how horrible this is for her: to wonder where her entire family is.
2 - A big complication is that Kylees father is Native American and his tribe, who is in Arizona, is being notified of these proceedings so that they can determine if they want to exercise their rights under the Indian Child Welfare Act. I hate to think that if they wished to, they could step in and claim first dibs to a child who has never visited their reservation and who isn't yet even a registered tribal member. She has family here who she knows and loves and who know and love her.
3 - The fact that neither my mom nor I can even visit her to offer her some comfort and reassurance. Because she is in a confidential foster home no one can know where she is - all visitation has to be supervised and the case worker has informed us that they only arrange supervised visitation with the biological parents: no extended family.
4 - Kylees fathers family, mainly his mother in Oregon, is trying to talk him into signing over his parental rights to them. In the two years since she has been born, his family has shown very little interest in Kylee. They never bothered to come to her birthdays (and they lived just a little over an hour away). They never came to see her at the holidays - she always had to be taken to them. They never helped to buy diapers or clothing or anything like that when my sister and her boyfriend couldn't afford to do so themselves (that was usually me). However, now that theres the potential to receive funding to foster her while her parents try to clean themselves up, as well as tribal money from Arizona, all of a sudden they've decided that her best interest is with them. Infuriating.

Isn't that the cutest little butt you've ever seen?

So, you can say that I am aggravated, angry, annoyed, pissed off, infuriated. However, more than anything else, I am heartbroken. The thought of Kylee with strangers, wondering where her family is, devastates me. I can only imagine how scared and confused she is. I just want to bring her home where I can hold her and comfort her and have her in an environment that is familiar to her with the family that she knows and loves. I miss her. I miss her curiosity and her precociousness, the way she would tease me by pretending to not be able to say my name but shout it and come running to me if something scared her or if she hadn't seen me in a few days. I want to bring her home where she belongs, and the time it is taking the county to go through everything to be able to make this happen is so incredibly frustrating. Add to that frustration the fact that her case worker will not return a single one of my calls, and you have one upset auntie over here.

So, I don't ask much of you dear readers, but if you can please pray for Kylee to come home soon. Pray, or send warm thoughts, good energy, or whatever your particular faith prescribes.

In the meantime, I am going to leave you with one of Kylees favorite songs. Its a weird one for a toddler. She never was big on lullaby's and then a few months ago I went to visit her and had this song playing in my car when I pulled up. She was standing in the front yard and when she heard it she immediately started dancing and rocking out. I don't know if she was just putting on an act for her favorite auntie, or is she is a little rocker in the making, or if its just the celt heritage in her. Either way, its pretty damn funny to watch a toddler jam to the following tune.

Equal Opportunity Snarker

2009-07-18T18:28:00.000-07:00

I've been accused of being a sarcastic smart-ass with my friends and coworkers. Snarky, if you will.
Tuesday I told one of the managers at my work the following story. I told him this as a demonstration that I DON'T save up all of my sarcastic comments for the sales reps that I support.

Tuesday morning I had to wake up at the ass crack of dawn to take my mom to the hospital for surgery on her wrist. She has severe carpal tunnel syndrome, in both arms, and has had numerous surgeries, on both arms, over the years.

We leave for the "ambulatory clinic" where she is scheduled to have the surgery. I'm to drop her off before I go to work, and Granny would be picking her up when the surgery is finished. I have no idea where we're going, all I know is that the clinic is in Folsom. I trust that my mother, the one who scheduled the surgery, knows where she is supposed to be.
As we approach Folsom she tells me the general vicinity of where it is so that I can be headed in the right direction. We get to the general area and I ask her where we're supposed to go next.
Mom "They said to go straight through a couple of lights and turn left."
So I go straight.
Me "Um, are we supposed to be going over the highway?"
Mom "I'm not sure"
Me "Because we are, and theres absolutely nothing out this way."
Mom "Well I told her that I knew where the clinics at that last intersection were and she told me to go through a couple of lights and turn left."
Me "But there are 4 different directions from which you can approach any given intersection."
Mom "I told them I was coming from Roseville."
Me "So, that only narrows it down to two different directions. Whats the address for the place"
Mom "I don't know."
Me "You don't know? Don't you have it with you?"
Mom "No. I left the address with Grandma"
Me "Well, do you at least know the name of the street its on?"
Mom "No. But I think it starts with a P."
Me. "You THINK? How...? What...? OH. MY. GOD."
In frustration, I pull over to the side of the road to call Grandma for the address. Thankfully my new phone (Sprints bastardized version of the iPhone) has navigation so I'm able to plug in the address and get us there, only a few minutes late.
I drop mom off in front of the clinic and pull away. As I'm turning out of the parking lot I look up in my rearview mirror to see my mom standing outside the clinic, staring at me. So, I pull around to see what she needs.
Mom "I dropped the check for my co-pay somewhere"
She starts digging through my car - my car is a disaster. There are empty packs of cigarettes, coffee cups, water bottles, etc. all over the floorboard of the passenger seat.
Me "You dropped it?"
Mom "Yes. I can't grip papers together with how bad the carpal tunnel is. THATS WHY I'M HAVING THE SURGERY"
Me "So, you know that you're unable to grip papers together yet you've got paperwork you have to give them PLUS the check for your co-pay"
Mom "Yes."
Me "Did you think that maybe since you have these papers and a check that you have to have with you that maybe you should've put them IN something?"
Mom "I can't take a purse or anything like that in to surgery, VA-NESS-A" (emphasize the 3 syllables there)
Me "LIKE AN EN-VEL-OPE MOTH-ER, so you don't lose your CHECK"
she looks at me blankly
Me "OR, better yet, why don't you safety pin the check to your shirt? ALONG WITH THE ADDRESS OF WHERE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE?"
Then she found the check, slammed my car door, and stomped off.

Where I've Been

2009-07-11T16:12:00.001-07:00

Nowhere interesting, really.

Work has been challenging lately. Since January there have been FOUR rounds of layoffs. The third round had a great impact on me - 25% of my department was affected including my counterparts. I am the only person left in my position in Northern California/Western Nevada. I won't lie, its scary. As flattered as I am that I was not laid off (the decision was based upon "dependability, knowledge, and tenure") its still scary - in theory they could eliminate my position entirely any day now.

With the job market being what it is, I couldn't really count on finding another job right away if I were to be laid off so I've been thinking that my best option would be to market my photography more aggressively in the hopes that I can pick up some more jobs.
The photography is something I've been doing half assed for a few years now. I've never really gone out in search of jobs, just gotten them as referrals from previous jobs I've done. Add to this the fact that I do not have a studio, and know absolutely NOTHING about marketing, and I'm basically just stumbling through what my options are.
I'm going to revamp my website, Photography by Vanessa, I haven't been thrilled with it for a while now and now I have some motivation to REALLY get in there and expand it.
I'm working on putting together some packages to appeal to graduating high school seniors and possibly new mothers. I already have some packages on there for weddings and family portraits - any other suggestions?

I've taken some photos of family members recently to use in promotional materials. This is what I've been using as promotional material for close to a year:

I'm going to update it with some more recent photos. These are just a couple of the images I'm considering. Theres still more recent ones on my camera that I need to go through.

Looking at these, i realize that I still need to add some BABIES! I'm going to get some of my niece who is two years old now, but I need BABIES!

I have a couple of jobs lined up - a wedding in a couple of weeks up in Lake Tahoe that I am really looking forward to. The ceremony is going to be on the beach so I should be able to get some beautiful images there, then my plan is too drive the perimeter of the lake on the way home and hopefully get some good photos that I can sell to a stock photography company.

UPDATED TO ADD
Oh my heavens I WANT one of these camera straps. Seriously, there are about 5 or 6 of them that I would have a HARD time selecting from.

My Brother

2009-06-21T14:39:00.000-07:00

I've recently eluded to some legal problems that my brother is going through without really elaborating on them.
To be quite honest, its occupied a lot of my thoughts and attention lately - between my dental problems (they're still ongoing) and him, I've been rather distracted the past couple of months. I've ran into some friends and bloggers out around town and ignored them because I was in midst discussion about this very issue. That was rude of me, and I apologize.

Heres what has happened.
In late April my brother was arrested on a Tuesday night/early Wednesday morning for attempted robbery. We, as a family, knew that my brother had been stealing for over a year at that point -- but as far as we knew it had only been from us. The year before my brother had stolen a large number of dvds from me. My gut instinct when I discovered all of these dvds missing was that it was him. The easiest way to confirm if it was him was to go to the local store that buys used dvds and ask to see a list of what he had sold to them. I got the list and went through it with my sister and we discovered that he had been stealing from both of us for several months.
I went to my mom and told her that either he needed to own up to what he had done and make amends OR I would ask the store to press charges. She went ballistic. I was NOT going to press charges and send her son to jail. At that point I grudgingly dropped the issue for the sake of family peace but told her how I was concerned that if something didn't happen to stop him, that he would progress to burglary and get himself into BIG trouble or possibly even injured or killed. She did not listen to me. My mother never listens to me.
So, I was right. He did progress to burglary and was caught. His photo was even on the evening news. That just about killed my grandmother - seeing her only grandson on tv as a criminal.
That following Friday I went to his arraignment hearing with my mom where my brother was released on his own recognizances, also known as OR. He got home that night to discover that someone had stolen his cell phone and Rolex watch (he'd bought it with the insurance settlement from a car accident he'd been in a couple of years prior). Hello? Is that you, karma?
So, he'd been arrested for attempted burglary and was stolen from during the few days that he was in county jail.
Being an idiot, he tracked down who stole from his and went to the guy. Not in a diplomatic "hey, thats not cool" fashion, but in a violent manner. He beat the guy, severely. This happened on Friday night and as of Saturday afternoon the guy was waiting for surgery to repair his crushed jaw. Waiting because his concussion was too severe for him to go in for surgery. My brother was immediately arrested for assault Friday night.
He is now convicted of felony assault and will spending at least two years in state prison.
He deserves to be there. He ABSOLUTELY deserves to be there. He has never had to face the consequences of his actions, my mom has always made certain of that, and now he has to - its high time that he did.
However, I hate seeing him about to go off to prison. I've visited him once and seeing him in the orange jumpsuit, talking to him over a phone through the plexiglass window is hard. He was a good kid growing up, I never imagined, prior to a year ago, that he would end up like this.
There is a part of me that, no matter how old he gets or what he does, will always feel like a protective older sister. As much as I know he belongs where he is, I DO NOT like it by any means.
So, in a couple of weeks he goes before the judge for his official sentencing. From there he goes to the general intake facility in Tracy and then he will be assigned to a prison anywhere in the state. I hope its relatively close so that mom can visit him regularly like she has been since this whole thing started, and I think I'd like to visit him occaissionally as well. Grandma, Grandma can't go visit him. I think she'd like to, but that would tear her apart. She would break down. I think he NEEDS to see her reaction to seeing him where he is, but its not worth what it would do to her.
I've been torn about whether or not to share this with everyone. I suppose I feared judgement from people. But, I can't not share it. It's been a big part of my life the past couple of months and will continue to be for the next couple of years. It has become a part of who I am. I love my brother despite his shortcomings and I am affected by this. I just hope that this changes him for the better, like he claims it has, and that he can learn from this experience and grow from it.

Diatribe

2009-06-08T14:31:00.000-07:00

Allow me to rant for a bit, if you will...

Here in Sacramento, there really is only one daily newspaper - The Sacramento Bee.

As I have mentioned previously, my brother, Ryan, is in jail. I will elaborate on this issue at another time - I'm still sorting through my own emotional response to his situation and am not yet ready to divulge the details openly.

One thing that my brother has requested while he is in jail is that we send him some books or possibly a subscription to The Sacramento Bee. Being the only family member with the financial means, and willingness, to readily purchase a subscription, I went online to sign him up.
The price quoted on the SacBee's website for a 13 week subscription was $26. Reasonable. I enter my brothers delivery information, my billing information, and get an email confirmation stating that delivery will begin within 2-3 days. This was on a Wednesday, so I have my mother tell Ryan that he should probably start receiving delivery the following Monday or Tuesday (just to allow extra time - so he'd be pleasantly surprised should the delivery begin earlier).
The next Monday I receive a phone call from The Bees "VIP Membership Services" stating that they need to clarify the subscription price for me. The representative advises me that delivery to a county jail is mail delivery and therefore the charges will be $44.10 for five weeks, more than four and a half times their standard subscription rates. Since its looking like Ryan is going to be in there a while I tell them to cancel the subscription request. At the rates quoted to me, that would be over $450 per year. Ridiculous.
I asked my mom to tell Ryan that I wasn't going to purchase the subscription after all because of the exorbitant costs. She did, and she said that he completely understood. I imagine that he was a bit disappointed - I have since visited with him and the options of things to do in a county jail are very limited. The library is very limited with a large portion of the books available being donations from other inmates of any books that their family members sent them. There are classes available for the inmates, but since this is a county facility and not a state prison the classes are limited to remedial courses designed for those wishing to pursue their GED. Despite having gotten himself into the situation he is in, Ryan is an intelligent person so these options are not too appealing to him. Thus, the request for the newspaper subscription.
The more I thought about the subscription price quoted to me, the more outraged I became. A couple days later I emailed The Bee's general information address with the following message:

I recently tried to purchase a subscription to the Sac Bee for my brother.
I am ashamed to admit that at present he is in custody at the Placer County Jail in Auburn.
Online the subscription price was listed as $26 for 13 weeks.
Today I received a call from an associate advising that the subscription price would be increased because of different delivery requirements to his location. I was advised that delivery for him would be $44.10 for just 5 weeks.
This difference in cost is outrageous and I have a hard time imagining how a price difference that great is justified aside from The Bee taking advantage of potential customers who have no other option of obtaining the paper. Or, is it that you just don't like to have customers?

Two days later, I received the following response:

Thank you for your email to The Sacramento Bee. The difference in price
is actually $4.25/week, for a total of $21.25 for 5 weeks or $34.00 for
8 weeks.

Unfortunately, the person who called you was quoting our Delivery by
mail subscriptions in error. I apologize for the incorrect information.
Would you be interested in starting the subscription now knowing the
correct rates?

At that time I responded that I may be interested in starting a subscription at the newly quoted rates but to hold off for the time being because Ryan may be moving to a state facility.
A few days later we found out the he will be at the county facility for at least another 5 weeks so I decided to start the subscription and emailed the contact I had been corresponding with regarding the updated subscription price.
Understandably, when I initially asked them to cancel my request they purged my delivery and billing information so they asked me to call in and give the information to any agent.
I called this morning and gave all of the delivery and billing info to a representative, then asked them to confirm the costs. Boy, am I glad I asked them to confirm the costs because I was once again quoted the $44.10. At that time I told her about the above exchanges and she advised me that whomever had quoted me the charge of $21.25 must have been unaware that mail delivery would be required. I read her, verbatim, the entire email including the senders full name. She paused for a moment and said "thats my boss", then placed me on hold. After a minute she came back and while she did say that they would "honor" the quote of $21.25 she continued to insinuate that what my subscription required was mail delivery and that is a higher cost. After she confirmed my billing and delivery information I asked when the delivery should actually be expected to begin. At that point she said that the carrier for that area should receive the order tomorrow and that the actual delivery should begin the day after that.
Wait. What? Carrier? If this requires mail delivery why is it going to a carrier?
This whole entire interaction leaves me with a couple of impressions... either the department who handles the subscriptions has no clue what kind of delivery is required for where OR The Bee is taking advantage of a demographic who has no other option for obtaining a daily newspaper. Seriously, its not as though the inmates can run down to the local 7-11 and pick up a copy. I also have to question how many families of inmates have been financially taken advantage of because they took the subscription rate quoted for what it was and didn't bother to voice complaint.
Now, I'm not one to say that prisoners should have cushy lives with premium cable and posh accommodations; they are where they are because they have done something wrong and have to pay for their wrongs against society. However, a newspaper isn't something too outrageous and if their families are willing to purchase their subscriptions, the families shouldn't be taken advantage of financially. Yes, a higher subscription rate than standard does seem reasonable and logical -- but not to the extent that I was originally quoted.

This is not the only issue I have with The Sacramento Bee - its just the most recent, and to me, the most outrageous.
In the past this blog has been quoted in The Bee without any sort of request or notification. I only found out that I had been quoted when friends emailed me saying "Hey, congratulations on being quoted in The Bee!"
More frequently, this has happened to a friend of mine. To the extent that she took her blog private for a few months because she was tired of being quoted without the courtesy of any sort of request.
Yes, journalistic ethics may not require a request or notification when one is quoting an already published blog, but common courtesy does. Especially when it is coming from a local area blogger who may have relationships with writers or editors of the publication.

In general, The Bee has gone downhill at a rapidly alarming pace in the past couple of years. The quality of journalists is not what it used to be which led me to cancel my daily subscription over a year ago.
The one writer I take the most issue with is the new restaurant critic. I, personally, find his reviews to be condescending and pompous. When a restaurant critic takes over 200 words (yes, I did a word count) to tell the reader what the difference is between good and great, the message it sends is that the writer finds their audience to be intellectually inferior.
Furthermore, I take issue with his journalistic ethics. He has openly admitted that when reviewing one restaurant in particular he has gone into the kitchen and introduced who he was just so that he could watch the chef prepare the meals. Critics and reviewers of any nature are not to reveal who they are so that they can ensure they receive the same level of service and quality of product that any other customer or consumer would receive.

One of two things needs to happen. Either The Bee needs a complete overhaul, or Sacramento needs another option for a daily printed newspaper.

Follow Up

2009-06-08T11:36:00.000-07:00

Friday night I had some lofty goals of things I wanted to get done over the weekend.
Shockingly, I did NOT accomplish all of them.

1. GARDENING
A few days ago I purchased some tomato, squash, and zucchini plants with the intentions of putting together a container garden. Over the weekend I did get out the half barrel planters we've had for numerous years now.
The unfortunate part is that these barrels went unused for the past two years and sat empty. This caused the wood to shrink to the extent that they are pretty much ruined. So, gardening did not get done, I am now faced with the dilema of either buying new planters or preparing a section of the yard for planting.

2. PATIO
Didn't do a single thing with it.

3. GOAT CHEESE
I tried. Heaven knows I tried.
I followed the recipe exactly, and I have no clue why, but the milk would NOT curdle. No matter how much lemon juice or vinegar or how long I let it sit. I eventually ended up pouring a half gallon of goats milk, the juice from 4 or 5 lemons, and approximately half a cup of apple cider vinegar down the drain.

4. PHOTOSHOP
I DID get all of my photoshop work done. Both the wedding AND the senior portraits. Yay me!

5. THIN OUT MY BOOKSHELVES
Nope.

6. FLIRT WITH THE BUTCHER
Unfortunately I got SO wrapped up in the photoshop work Sunday that I lost track of time and didn't get to the butchers before they closed yesterday.

A couple of things I did get done this weekend that WEREN'T on my To Do List?

1. Visit my baby brother in jail - thats an entire entry of its own for another time.

2. Vietnamese Coffee Popsicles
Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE my coffee. Drink it daily, all throughout the day. A few years ago my uncle introduced me to Vietnamese coffee - a strongly brewed coffee, similar to espresso, blended with sweetened condensed milk. I would LOVE to get a set of Vietnamese coffee filters, but I fear how much sweetened condensed milk I would consume if I did.
A couple weeks ago I saw this recipe for Vietnamese coffee popsicles and knew that I HAD to make them. This weekend, I did. They were AMAZING. Even Grandma liked them.

3. DETERGENT
A couple weeks ago I told you about what I will call "The Great Detergent Debacle of 2009", also known as "Vanessa Doesn't Like To Follow Directions".
I had attempted to make a concentrated version of my own liquid laundry detergent only to have it turn into a semi-solid consistency. As a result, by the time I had thinned it out to a gel detergent consistency, I had FIFTEEN gallons of the stuff. Since then, its been sitting in buckets.
This weekend I had finally gathered enough empty laundry detergent bottles, 2 liter soda bottles, milk jugs, etc to bottle the stuff. I've given some away to my mom and to neighbors... I STILL have TEN bottles that I don't know what to do with.
The drawback is that even though I thinned it out to a gel detergent consistency, it tends to separate? I've used the stuff and it works just fine as long as you shake it before using it. I just don't have a scientific enough mind to understand why its separating. I guess that it has something to do with all of the various ingredients mixing and bonding together during the initial preparation and the additional water being added after the fact?
I'm thinking I'm going to take some down to the pub and see if I can unload any there. For some reason, some people are hesitant to accept homemade detergent? I made it for sensitive skin since Grandma requires it.

4. LAUNDRY
Got mine done, as well as the towels. Now, I just need to work on Grandmas.

5. DRANK COFFEE
Really, I'm just adding this to make myself feel better for not doing more that was on my actual To Do list.

6. CUDDLED WITH SAM & COOPER
See #5.

Ambitious

2009-06-05T19:35:00.000-07:00

I have some ambitious plans for this weekend and am hoping that by putting them here, it will give me some accountability to complete at least HALF of whats on my to do list.

1. Gardening
I know I'm getting a rather late start on this, but yesterday I purchased two tomato plants, one crookneck squash and one zucchini plant.
I'm going to put together a little container garden. Yes, I know the zucchini needs a lot of room, so I may actually put that one in the ground... I'll have to double check exactly big my largest container is (a half wine barrel) and see if that will be large enough.
I'm not sure what suddenly motivated me to try gardening. I've never been successful with plants in the past but I want to grow my own vegetables. Its often hard for me to get to the farmers market downtown on the weekend, and the grocery stores can be so pricey for fresh produce that is often tasteless and bland. And, theres not much that I love more than a homegrown tomato.
IF this experiment goes well, I'm probably going to put together a larger garden for next year. Building a few raised beds wouldn't be too challenging and then I could have a wider variety of produce. I definitely have the room for it, our property is close to half an acre, so if I was REALLY feeling ambitious I could, theoretically, have a more traditional garden in the back portion of the property. However, that would require things like getting a rototiller and a lot of manual labor.

2. PATIO
I SERIOUSLY need to clean up the back patio - primarily the bbq grill. I plan on having a bbq-tastic summer this year.

3. GOAT CHEESE
I'm going to be making my own goat cheese this weekend.
This idea started while brainstorming ways to deal with keeping the weeds and grass in check on our property. My brother had been coming around and mowing our back yard but totally slacked on it the past few months and the next thing we knew, Cooper was getting lost in the jungle that is our back yard. I COULD do it myself, but I can be rather prone to laziness and social obligations on the weekends. We COULD hire a lawn service, but with how large the property is, thats a couple hundred dollars a month. I'm trying to save some money here. My sisters boyfriend COULD come and do it but he's a jackass and you can't rely on him for crap (note, since this brainstorming session he has come over and cleared the jungle). Then I remembered reading how you can rent goats to come and clear overgrown weeds and brush. I looked into it, and with what it would cost to rent two goats for a day you could buy two pygmy goats of your own. I mentioned this to a friend of mine and she pointed out that if I got one that was a milker, I could also make my own goat cheese with the milk she produced. I thought this was a FANTASTIC idea. I LOVE goat cheese.
So, I did a little research and found this. Making goat cheese is SO incredibly easy! Or at least it sounds that way.
So, I was all gung ho on the idea of getting two pygmy goats. Pygmy because they don't get too terribly big (they can use a large dog house as their shelter as opposed to a barn) and that breed is very social and playful. I figured this would be good because Cooper is very social and playful and I know that if I brought a couple goats onto the property, Cooper would at least try to play with them.
Then I REALLY started thinking it over. I would have to get up at the ass crack of dawn every day to milk them, and I HATE mornings. They would have to be milked daily and I know that I couldn't count on anyone to come and milk them if I go away for a weekend, let alone a week in Europe or somewhere.
If I do end up with a larger garden next year, I would have to build a fence to keep them away from it otherwise they would eat all of my gardening efforts. If that happened I would have to invite all of my friends over for a fire roasted goat one night. So, ixnay on the oatgay.
However, the idea of making my own goat cheese stuck with me. Last night I stopped at Whole Paycheck, I mean Whole Foods, and picked up some goat cheese. If this first attempt goes well, I found a rancher up in El Dorado Hills where I could purchase raw goats milk for future batches of goat cheese. Yes, raw goats milk would be unpasteurized, but that just means that its full of probiotics.

4. PHOTOSHOP
Four weeks ago a couple of my friends got married and I photographed their wedding. At first, I just started working on the photos slowly because, they're going to be in Ireland on their honeymoon for three weeks? Pshaw! I've got plenty of time! No reason to rush!
Then I started having all sorts of dental complications and was on either valium and/or vicodin and/or white wine each night. Now, I'm confident enough to work my photoshop magic with a glass or two of white wine, but I am not going to work on a friends wedding photos while hopped up on vicodin and/or valium. Next thing I knew, they were home. Now I've got to haul ass to get the photos done.
ALSO, last weekend I belatedly took some photos of one of my younger cousins for her Senior Portraits. The kid graduated high school early a few months ago but wouldn't coordinate with me for when we could get them done. Every time she wanted to get together it was a weekday when I was working and she only wanted to spend the weekends with her boyfriend. We finally got together last Sunday and now I need to go through those photos.

5. THIN OUT MY BOOKSHELVES
I seriously have too many books. Its a sickness, really. I keep every single book that I buy, with the exception of the ones I loan out and don't get back. THEN whenever anyones getting rid of books I always take a healthy portion of them. As a result, I've got books everywhere. I figure that I'll take some to a used book store and try to sell them and the ones that they don't take I'll donate to the library or goodwill or someplace.

6. FLIRT WITH THE BUTCHER
Last weekend I decided to stop into my local butcher and support the local businesses. Can I just say that the guy working the front counter was super cute?
Now, I'm BAD a picking up on when a guy is flirting with me. My natural thought and reaction is that he's just friendly.
When I went to the butchers, I had my cousin with me (we had just finished her portraits) and when we walked out I said "WOW. He was cute." Cousin said "He totally was! AND he was totally smiling and flirting with you!"
So, I think I need to go back this weekend.

Hopefully I'll be able to get at least half of this done.

I Need To Learn How To Follow Directions

2009-05-23T13:22:00.000-07:00

I've never been big on directions... especially recipes.
I've always thought that recipes were a loose guideline, really just a set of suggestions, and I have always ventured off on my own. I've come up with some great meals this way.
However, I recently had an experience that made me think that following a recipe can be a very good thing. That sometimes, sometimes, recipes are the way they are for a reason and that diverting from them can result in an outcome that is not desired.

A couple of months ago I made my own powdered laundry detergent, read the details here.
I have been extremely satisfied with the detergent - it works FANTASTICALLY and I have used it on everything... including some VERY dirty loads of laundry (dog beds, towels used to clean up mud, all kinds of nastiness). The only thing that was a bit of a pain was that since it was a powdered detergent it had to be used in hot water so that it would dissolve. It wasn't too big of a pain, if I needed to do a load in a cold wash I just turned on the hot for about 20 seconds at first, then switched it to cold, then loaded in the items I was washing.
This dilema had me wanting to make my own liquid detergent (recipe here). The recipe for the liquid detergent essentially calls for the same ingredients that I used in the powdered version, just melt them together, pour into a 5 gallon bucket, add water and let sit overnight to gel, then use 1 cup per full load of laundry.
Thats what the recipe said. However, that is not what my insane mind said.
My thoughts went like this:
"What if I used double the ingredients so that you would only have to use 1/2 cup per full load?"
"Heck, if I'm going to make a concentrated version, then I could quadruple the ingredients so that you only use 1/4 cup per load. Thats even MORE environmentally friendly! Its conserving water, and since Northern California is practically always in a drought conserving water=GOOD!"
So, this past week I set about making my super concentrated laundry detergent. I did not end up with laundry detergent. What I ended up with was something closer to a super soft playdough. Now, I have to go buy a couple 5 gallon buckets so I can mix some of this stuff with hot water and try to thin it out to an actual detergent like consistency.

Reason #83 Why I Should Not Be A Mother

2009-05-09T14:19:00.001-07:00

This morning I went to the Susan G Komen Race For the Cure. I walked it. I do not run.
After the run, I mean walk, my friend and I went to lunch with her 4 year old son. As we're leaving the cafe, I'm hugging him goodbye in the parking lot when his hand accidentally gets caught in the neckline of my blouse and he copped a little bit of a feel. He put his hand back, patting my chest, saying "ooooohhhhhh. Whats this?".
I was all "Uhhhhhhhhhhhh?" and looking toward his mother for help because, really? I have no clue how to handle that situation.
So, lil' guys mom was all "Those are Vanessas doobs" apparently thats what he calls them, and yes he fully knows what they are and was just trying to play dumb/cute so he could cop a feel, "and they're not for you to touch. You don't get to play with doobs for a very long time."
And I'm all "Yeah kiddo, you've got about another 14, maybe 13, years before you can play with doobs"
And his mom is all "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Twenty! Thirty! Fourty! Years before he can play with doobs!"
And I'm all "Yeah, you can't play with doobs until you're your grandpas age"
and in my head I'm thinking "damn, I just said 13 or 14 because that would make him 17 or 18 years old and I thought that was a conservative estimate of his approximate age before he'd cop a feel on a girl and actually my gut reaction, which I quickly shot down, because I do have a LITTLE sense about me, was to say 10 years because I'm thinking 14 is probably the young side of average for a teenage boys first grope. Damn. I'm glad I didn't say that."

2009-05-09T14:16:00.001-07:00

Testing sending blog updates via my text. Is this just Blogger trying to keep up with Twitter?

Theres A New Phone In Town

2009-05-08T20:45:00.000-07:00

For the past couple of years I've been using the LG Fusic phone from Sprint.
Overall, it was decent, but in the past year it had developed some... issues.

For example, while closed, it would randomly turn on the speaker phone and redial my last call. Keep in mind, this is a flip phone so while closed the phone should not be making or receiving any calls.
Also, it had these little buttons along the sides. Those buttons had become hyper-sensitive... I guess.
While in my purse or pocket, again closed, the MP3 player would randomly turn on and start playing music. Sometimes the camera would turn on by itself and I would end up with extreme close ups of the contents of my purse.
However, the weirdest and hardest for me to figure out, was a voice I heard in my ear one day as I was driving down the road. I had my headset in my ear and out of nowhere theres a voice saying "Call from Mom" except this voice almost had a british accent, so it was more like "Call frum Mum". What the bloody hell? I jumped to the point of almost causing an accident. What else do you expect my reaction to be when I'm alone in my car and hearing british accents in my head?
That one took a while for me to figure out. Apparently the phone had a "Voice Guide" mode that had somehow been turned on.

AGGRAVATING.

So, I've been wanting a new phone for a while now. Of course, being an Apple junkie, I really wanted the iPhone. However, that would involve switching carriers. I've had Sprint for 8 years now and am content to stay with them. Also, the iPhone, while coming down in price in the past year, is still rather pricey and my understanding is that the plan needed to support the iPhone would be a substantially higher monthly bill than what I currently have.
I decided to stay with Sprint and was initially just thinking that I would get a phone that has a full QWERTY keyboard because I text a lot and was tired of texting on a standard phone key pad. Then, a coworker who has the Samsung Instinct (Sprints iPhone knock off) let me play with her phone for a bit this past week.
I went with the Instinct.

It is taking a bit of getting used to, and I'm trying to fully explore it this evening so that I'm not a bumbling idiot with it when actually trying to make/receive calls.
Also, normally I am one of those people who always passes on the additional insurance for electronics. Everything I've read about them says that they're a total waste of money. However, considering my luck with anything technological this past year, I did opt for the insurance this time. Hopefully I won't have to take advantage of it too many times

Adventures in Dentistry

2009-04-13T18:37:00.000-07:00

I will be the first to admit that I have more than just a little dental anxiety. I'd even be willing to classify it as a neurosis...I would even go as far as to say that it could be categorized as dentophobia.
I definitely go through the "cycle of avoidance" in that I NEVER go in for regular check ups or cleanings. I wait until I am in pain and then go in in crisis mode and end up having to have a whole laundry list of procedures done... root canals, abscess, pulp capping, multiple fillings, extractions.... NO BUENO.
My personal dental experiences have been nothing less than horrific.
Disclaimer - DO NOT read further if you have dental anxieties and are easily freaked out. I will be detailing my horrifying experiences. However, if you are morbidly curious or need motivation to maintain your regular dental appointments - a "don't let this happen to you" - then please, read on....

My earliest dental memory was at approximately the age of six. I had been racing bikes with my cousin and a couple of the neighborhood kids. At one point I look back over my shoulder to see how far ahead I am and steer my bike, at full speed, directly into the back of a parked van. I was a bloody mess. Four teeth, thankfully all baby teeth, were broken off at the gum line and one of them went through my lip. I spent a few hours in the emergency room that afternoon getting stitches in my lip, I still have the scar, and had to wait until Monday to go in to the dentist so that they could dig out the root structures of the four teeth that had broken. This was my regular dentist for a LONG time. Lets call him Dr Black (since that may or may not be the opposite of his real name).
It was a while until I had my next horrific dental experience.
When I was 18 I had to have my lower wisdom teeth pulled. Dr Black said that they could be pulled under local anesthetic, Novocaine, and nitrous oxide if needed. At that time he informed me that he wouldn't touch the upper wisdom teeth.
He said that the wisdom tooth on the upper left didn't need to be removed at that point so why go in there since the uppers can be more difficult and painful. Then he told me that on the upper right I had TWO wisdom teeth. Yes, TWO. I'm a freak. He told me that he would never touch those because with how far up the root structures went into the cheek bone area, that if not done right the result could be facial damage and because of this he would never touch them, that I would need to see an oral surgeon. Fantastic.
The day I went in to have the lower wisdom teeth pulled I stayed awake all night the night before at the suggestion of a friend. She had told me that if I was exhausted and on nitrous oxide that there was a good chance I would sleep through the whole ordeal. No one has ever been more wrong in their entire life.
I was loaded up with Novocaine and he started digging in. Even being numbed I was still experiencing pain and pressure. So, he gave me more Novocaine and turned on the nitrous. I still felt uncomfortable pressure, so they turned the nitrous up. Then the Novocaine started wearing off, so they gave me more injections.
This cycle kept repeating itself, the Novocaine would wear off, they'd stop to give me more injections. It finally got to the point where he said "I've given you the maximum Novocaine I can safely give you, the nitrous is turned up to the maximum level I can safely have it at, but we're too far in to stop". It was so incredibly painful, and all I could do was sit there and cry through the rest of it.
As an added bonus, I got dry socket almost immediately afterwards. That is a pain I would not wish upon anyone. Seriously, it was the worst pain I have ever experienced.

It was about six years until I went back to the dentist.
I was employed part time and didn't have any dental benefits, or any benefits at all, when I got a horrible toothache. I went into a random dentist - lets call him Dr Forget since I can't remember his name or the name of his office, that advertised themselves as affordable for any budget and Dr Forget told me that I needed a root canal on the last molar on my upper right side. I did not have the funds to pay for a root canal, so I went with the more affordable option of having the tooth extracted. My rationalization at the time was that not only was it more affordable, but it would also give room for one of the double wisdom teeth to come down.
Dr Forget had a horrible time removing that molar. The root was curved in a C like shape, so he couldn't just pull it. He had to break the tooth into pieces and remove them all individually. Again, painful. The Novocaine kept wearing off and he had to continuously stop to give me additional injections. Apparently my body processes Novocaine rather fast.
The removal was done, and I was sore. I expected to be sore though - I'd just had a large molar removed. However, the pain was awful. It was almost to the level that I started to wonder if I was developing dry socket again. After a few days I went back to Dr Forget because of how painful the pain still was. That was when we discovered that when Dr Forget had broken the tooth into pieces, HE HAD LEFT A FEW SHARDS BEHIND.
So, once again, I didn't go back to the dentist for a couple years.
Once again, I found myself in extreme pain and made an emergency appointment with Dr Black. I needed a root canal, a pulp capping, and a few fillings. Three or four appointments later I was all fixed and all dental issues were remedied. However, I was left with some hefty bills. Since I'd gone in to Dr Black in extreme pain I hadn't bothered to confirm that my insurance covered him. They didn't, and they wouldn't.
Did I learn from these experiences and go in for regular check ups and cleanings after that? Ummmm....no.
Because I can, at times, be incapable of learning from my past mistakes I went another couple of years with no dental care. Even though I had insurance. Yet again, I found myself in the position of extreme pain, again in need of a root canal, on the phone with my insurance crying and begging them to find me an appointment with anyone who would do a root canal. The only dentist in my area who performed root canals on my coverage had a month long waiting list. Because I was clearly in a "position of crisis" (thats what the insurance lady said) they extended emergency coverage to the dentist of my choice. Not knowing many dentists I went back to Dr Black. He performed the root canal and did a couple of fillings as well.
Again, my dental issues were all solved.
A while after that I became aware that some fillings had fallen out and that I probably had new cavities as well. However, I also hated my dental insurance and didn't want to go to the dentists that they covered. This was in mid-2007. I rationalized that during the benefits open enrollment at work I would switch to the better dental coverage and in early 2008 I would research a good dentist, take recommendations from friends, and go get these issues addressed. I kinda didn't do that. I didn't switch my coverage during open enrollment, and when 2008 rolled around I still had the coverage that I didn't care for and didn't want to go have the issues addressed. Last fall it started becoming increasingly apparent that I needed to have dental care, so when benefits open enrollment came around I changed my coverage almost immediately. However, when 2009 began I still didn't make an appointment. The anxiety and dread were there. I would take recommendations from friends, but never actually call for an appointment.
Then, Thursday before last, I bit down on a piece of crispy bacon with the upper right wisdom tooth that had come down and was in extreme pain. Recognizing this pain I was certain that I was in need of yet another root canal.
The next day, a Friday, I started calling dentist. I was amazed at how many dental offices are closed on Fridays. I was thinking I was going to have to suffer through the weekend and try to find a dentist on Monday. I finally found a dentists office conveniently located partway between work and home (closer to home) that was open and could schedule an appointment for me. The drawback was that even though I was in pain, they couldn't see me until Tuesday morning.
I went to my appointment Tuesday morning and had x-rays done then the dentist, Dr Thompson (real name), examined my mouth and said this
"Well, here's the good news. First, you don't have any signs of oral cancer. Second, with all of the work you need done we can give you free whitening."
From there he went on to tell me that the exposed wisdom tooth on my upper right was decayed to the extent that any efforts to save it would first be extremely complicated because of its positioning (at an angle) and heroic and should just be extracted by an oral surgeon. While in there, they should remove the other wisdom teeth on both sides. Then he went into the complicated issue. The last molar on my upper right had been root canal treated by Dr Black several years prior. He asked me if there had been any complications during the root canal process, if there were I don't recall. He went on to show me in the x-ray where one of the files used to clean out the root canal had broken off in one of the canals and Dr Black left it there. In addition to that, the decay had not been completely cleaned out and had continued up the root and was now encroaching on bone. The solution - remove the tooth before the decay could affect (effect?) the bone and cause even more extensive damage that could potentially require bone grafts and such.
The dental office I went to only has an oral surgeon in once a month and he would be in on that Thursday, just two days later. The dentist then asked me if I wanted to have this done with local anesthetic, Novocaine, to which I replied "HELL, NO. Knock me out. Put me under. General anesthesia and nothing less".
Unfortunately, he couldn't guarantee me an appointment that Thursday if I was requiring general anesthesia. I was having to hope for someone to cancel their appointment, otherwise I would either have to wait a month OR find an oral surgeon who could get me in ASAP.
To recap, I went in anticipating that I would need a root canal and a handful of fillings. I left being told that I needed to have my upper left wisdom tooth, two upper right wisdom teeth (freak weirdo) and upper right molar removed. Thats right, FOUR teeth. Three of which were all right in a row.
Wednesday morning I got the call from the dental office that they had a cancellation and would be able to get me in at 11:30 Thursday morning.
I was simultaneously relieved and terrified. That night after work I went out with some friends. Figured that I'd been eating soft foods for nearly a week at that point and knowing that I wouldn't be able to eat anything other than soft foods for at least another week, I wanted meat. We went to the pub where I had a few pints and a few buffalo wings and distracted myself from my anxieties. But they came back. When I went to sleep that night I had a dream that only demonstrates my anxieties.
I dreamed that I showed up at the office and had the following conversation with the receptionist:
Receptionist: Okay, have you taken the Valium we gave you?
Me: Umm... you didn't give me a Valium. Do I really need it since I'm having general anesthesia?
R: Oh. Well. Um, here take this now and it should kick in by the time we're done with all the paperwork.
M: Okay.
R: So, did you eat or drink anything after midnight last night
M: No
R: Good. Did you go to the pub with your friends for a couple beers last night?
M: Yes
R: Oh. Thats not good. Did you have buffalo wings?
M: Yes
R: You weren't supposed to do that
M: Nobody told me!
R: Did you have ranch dressing with the wings?
M: Yes
R: Ohhhh, not good. Not good.
M: Wha...?
R: Did you stop on your way home last night and buy yourself a new set of loungewear for today?
M: Yeahhhh.
R: Sssssssssss. That was not a good idea.
M: How....?
R: Did you fall asleep watching a movie last night?
M: Yes
R: Oh no, you shouldn't have done that.
M: But...?
R: Did you take Sunrise to get here this morning?
M: Yes, you're ON Sunrise!
R: Not good. Not good at all. Just so you know, theres probably going to be some complications.
M. But? How? Why? What????

and thats all I remember of the dream. Seriously? WTF? Nice little peak inside of my twisted brain, huh?
Just to note - I think the part about taking the valium got put into my head because every friend I talked to the night before asked me if they had given me a valium to take in the morning. Apparently all of their experiences of being rendered unconscious for dental procedures was via valium as opposed to general anesthesia.

I went to my appointment Thursday morning and had no issues at all. I sat in the chair, they put in the IV of a saline drip and the oral surgeon came in. He said "You look like you are a nervous wreck". I told him yes, that my anxiety was rather high, and he said "Well, I'm going to give you some stuff here thats going to make you feel like everythings alright with the world."
Thats the last I remember.
The next thing I knew, I was being woken up so that I could get into a wheelchair and was wheeled out to my car where my mom was waiting for me.
I was pretty much prepared to get dry socket almost immediately like had happened when Dr Black removed my lower wisdom teeth so I kept myself heavily sedated with various strengths of vicodin the rest of the day Thursday, all day Friday, and part of Saturday and Sunday.
To be honest, everything has gone rather well. Yes, I have been sore and tender but that is to be expected with what I had done and it has been getting better daily. I haven't gotten dry socket, I haven't been in excruciating pain, and I even felt up to running a couple of minor errands Sunday.
Looking back at my dental history, I think I can attribute a great portion of my dentophobia to repeatedly returning to Dr Black. Looking at all of this objectively, I don't think he's the best dentist out there.
However, I do think I have found a good dentist. Friday, while I was recovering, my dentist called me personally to see how I was doing, how I felt and how I was recovering. Granted, I was sedated so he left me a message, but still... he followed up personally. Any of my experiences with dentists or doctors or anything of that nature in the past was that if they followed up at all, it was a receptionist or assistant who did it, not the dentist or doctor. Also, in my initial appointment last Tuesday, Dr Thompson said that once the surgery was done, before proceeding with any other procedures, he wanted to talk about my dental anxieties, find out why they were so extensive that I would willing go as long as I do without having these issues addressed so that he could tailor his approach to suit my needs.
I think I may have found a good dentist. Its an abstract concept for me.
I will be making an appointment to go back in and have all of my other issues addressed and I think I will take him up on the offer for free whitening. I just hope it doesn't turn out like this (it's long, but watch through to the end if you haven't seen it already. Heck, watch through to the end anyways because its funny):

I Blame The Drugs

2009-04-05T17:31:00.000-07:00

If this post makes no sense at all, blame the drugs.
I've been taking massive amounts of vicodin over the past couple of days due to a toothache. A horrible horrible horrible toothache.
I haven't just been taking vicodin, I've also been mixing it with large amounts of acetometaphin, and at times.... booze. Like this morning I drug myself out of bed to go to a friends bon voyage brunch before she leaves for Nepal tomorrow. There I had a couple of bloody marys... that made for one sweet sweet nap once I got home.
Why do I have such a horrible toothache? Because I'm a giant wuss and am afraid of the dentist. I will avoid the dentist at all cost. Yes, when an issue pops up I am aware that if I went in and had the issue addressed right then, it wouldn't be too big of an issue and that if I put it off its only going to progress into something horrible. Like what I have right now. But, I put it off because to me, a trip to the dentist is an awful experience, rife with pain and blood and lectures about brushing and flossing. So, I put off the needed dental appointment until it is a self fulfilling prophecy in which I am in pain like I am now.
So, there you have it. I am phobic about going to the dentist. I'm sure theres a technical term for this condition, but for now I'm just going to call it "hurts-my-teeth-achondria" or "pain-in-my-mouth-aphobia" or maybe "ouch-my-tooth-aphobic" or even "don't-put-that-in-my-mouth-achondriac". Actually, I'm thinking that last one could apply to a lot more than just a fear of the dentist.
The only thing that I didn't factor in to my phobia surrounding the dentist is the 12+ year old black lab lying at my feet and farting like I have right now.
Over the past 2 days I've been neglecting my doggy babies. Since I got home from work Friday, my routine has been this:
take vicodin, let the dogs out, sleep, take vicodin, let the dogs in, sleep, take vicodin, sleep, take vicodin, eat something, sleep, take vicodin, let the dogs in, sleep... you get the gist.
Sam and Cooper are feeling a bit neglected. Coopers being more vocal about it, sitting here next to me saying "arawwrrawawarr" which we all knows translates to "pet me and give me pup-peronis, NOW PLEASE!"
So, now I have a dilema. I'm low on vicodin - I have enough to get me through tonight and possibly through tomorrow. My mom went to refill my prescription... a prescription that was given to me for a different ailment last summer. The pharmacy said that they can't refill my prescription because the original prescription was given to me over a year ago. This is not true. I just dug out the other prescription that was given to me at the same time and I got it last July. Do I go back to the pharmacy myself in my ratty pajamas and unkempt hair and smelly unshowered self and argue with them, or do I just make do with what I have until my dentist appointment Tuesday morning?

Also, I've been using this Toothache Kit

It works okay, takes the edge off of the pain. I think that if I were dealing with your typical cavity pain that this would work perfectly. However, since I think I'm dealing with root canal pain it just takes the edge off - takes it down a couple notches to a dull pain.
The drawback, it tastes like death. Death with a slight clove like aftertaste.

I Thought I Had a Leprechaun

2009-03-20T01:05:00.000-07:00

Theres been a few times over the past couple of weeks where I have randomly found money is strange places....
A $10 bill in my bed
A couple of $1 in my pile of dirty laundry
A $5 under one of my pillows
and more like this.

The ones in my bed I figured had probably fallen out of my purse and the ones in the laundry I figured that I had left in my pockets.

It was either that, or I had a leprechaun.

A viable theory since this was in the weeks leading up to Saint Patrick's Day, right? RIGHT?!?

I actually spotted my leprechaun ON Saint Patrick's Day....
He's black, furry, and has 4 legs.

I was sitting at my computer and out of the corner of my eye, I see Cooper stick his head in my purse and pull out a few $1 bills and go trotting off with them.

He's stashing cash around the house!

He's not chewing it up. He's just stashing it.

I have no idea what this is other than maybe he recognizes that we're in a recession and wants to build a little nest egg to ensure there are funds available for the future purchase of pup-peroni and fauxreos?

I'm Beginning To Think It Might Be Me

2009-03-17T23:45:00.000-07:00

I think technology hates me. Not just Macs/Apples, but all of technology.
I've told you of some of the technology problems I've experienced this past year. Thats right, some. I know what you're thinking "Dude, theres more? Seriously? What more technology problems could one girl possibly have?"
First, there was the situation with the iBook and the iPod.
Then there was the issue with the PowerBook.
Last you heard was the troubles with upgrading the OS on the iMac.

Well, to be honest, my technological trainwreck goes back further than what I have let on.

About a year and a half ago, my brother accidentally cut the power cord to my TV. He was ripping the carpet out of our hallway, and when he took took the blade to cut the carpeting at my doorway, he didn't move the power cord to my TV out of the way and accidentally cut it in half.
Yes, I was annoyed, but I didn't make a big deal out of it. At that time I thought that I had three options to remedy the situation:

1. Buy a new TV
2. Take it to a repair shop and pay to have it fixed.
3. Fix it myself.

Well, anyone who knows me knows that I went with option three. I will DIY just about any project when that is a viable option. I look at it as an opportunity to learn a new skill or further develop a skill that I may already have, and save some money to boot.
I know a little about electrical type stuff.
A little.
My great-grandfather was a electrician and I remember sitting in his workshop with him, watching and helping him with some basic electrical repairs. My grandfather, while not an electrician, did possess a basic knowledge of electrical repairs - I also helped him with all kinds of home maintenance around the house, including some tasks of electrical nature.

Looking at the issue in front of me, I knew how to fix the problem of the cut power cord. I had the piece that had been cut off, all I had to do was strip both of the cut ends, match the ends up, splice them together, and seal well with electrical tape.
I set about my project, cleanly stripped the ends and spliced the appropriate copper wires together.
Here is where I faltered. I did not have any electric tape.
I searched the house with no luck. In a lapse of judgement I thought to myself, "Duct tape. Duct tape can fix everything, right? I've got duct tape!"
And I duct taped the cord together. I taped the two separate sides (I forget the technical term) and duct taped the entire outside of the spliced area to ensure that it was completely sealed and protected. Heh. Those of you with more knowledge of the composition of duct tape are already shaking your heads.
I plugged the TV in, and it worked. It worked well for a couple of weeks. Then, one day, I come home and go to turn on my TV. It starts to turn on, then theres a "pop" and as the TV turns back off, theres a "pssssssssss" type sound.
I assume that perhaps I didn't twist the wires together tightly enough, or didn't tape them together securely enough, when I was splicing the cord.
So, I start to remove the layers upon layers of duct tape. A couple of layers in, I find that parts of the duct tape appears to be charred and I think to myself "hmmm. Thats odd". Once I remove all of the tape I am really confused because there is no visible copper wire. Instead, there is this black dust like substance. I do not know what caused this, I just know that it is BAD. My thoughts, in the order that they occurred, were:

1. I'm not sure what I did wrong here, I just know that I was thisclose to having a fire here.
2. Crap, a fire! My TV is right in front of my bedroom door. I wouldn't have had an exit other than to jump out the window!
3. Holy hell! If I had to jump out the window, what would have happened to Grandma? Would she have been able to get up and out of the house in time considering the difficulty she has walking?
4. F! Would I have even woken up? The battery in the fire detector was dead and the beeping was driving me nuts so I took the batter out and keep forgetting to replace it!
5. F, I'd have died!

So, I go down to the pub and tell my guy friends what has happened hoping that they can give me some insight. One of them happens to be a fire fighter. He starts to chuckle, puts his arm around my shoulder, and says "Vanessa, God bless you. People like you give me job security."
He proceeds to inform me that duct tape actually contains metallic filaments so the duct tape was conducting electricity then entire time. I am very lucky that there wasn't an electrical fire.
He also tells me that he thinks the "pop" sound I heard most likely was the tube in my TV blowing out (or something like that - its an old TV, and this scenario took place a year ago... I'm a little fuzzy on some of the details) and its probably dead now.
After this, I decided not to have the TV fixed since it would be beyond just replacing the power cord and I'd be best off to just replace the entire TV. I don't watch a ton of TV in my bedroom since I refuse to have cable hooked up in there (I would never sleep. Instead I would get sucked into Project Runway or What Not To Wear marathons). All I really use my TV for in my bedroom is to watch DVD's.
For a while, I used my laptop to watch DVDs and the occaisional streaming of TV shows that I had missed during their original broadcasting.
Then, my laptop died.
I took advantage of this situation to buy a portable DVD player. It just so happened that I'd been considering buying one of these for quite a while.
I'd like to say that I did extensive research and bought something that was top of the line but still at a reasonable price. I can not say that.
What I can say is that I went on ebay and bought one that was cheap and that I recognized the manufacturers name. I ended up getting a 7" Polaroid portable DVD player, in blue, for something like $50. I was never THRILLED with the purchase - the battery only lasted about an hour when fully charged, so I had to have it constantly plugged in... which defeats the whole purpose of it being "portable". Plus, a 7" screen is pretty small.
But overall, it served its purpose. I set it up on my nightstand and have been using it there since last August.
This past week I went to put a DVD in, and it gave me an error message stating "No Disc". I knew this was BS because I had very plainly JUST put a disc in there. I took the disc out and tried the very high tech attempt to repair... I blew on the disc tray. I know, I know, revel in my technological savy. It actually worked.
I put the disc in and watched my movie.
The next night, I put another disc in. Once again "No Disc". The "blow" technique did not work this time. I tried a different disc, same problem. A third disc, Same. Problem.
I turned it off, waited a minute, turned it back on. No difference.
I turned it off, unplugged it, removed the battery, waited a minute and put everything back together.
I put a disc back in. It acted like it was loading, then made a weird noise and said "no disc". This time when I removed the disc and looked at the disc tray, the lens had moved. The lens normally is positioned towards the center of the tray. Now, it had moved towards the outer edge and is not moving back into place.

It is now clear, technology hates me.

Its not limited to just computers, TVs, and DVD players. No. It also encompasses cell phones and radios. I have a long history of Walkmans breaking for no apparent reason. I've purchased a couple of satelitte radios for my car only to have them randomly stop working.
My cell phone, a flip phone... which should not do anything when its closed, will suddenly turn itself on in the speakerphone mode and call people when its sitting on my desk, not being touched. It also is an MP3 player and will start playing music out of nowhere. I'll be in the middle of a phone call, or text message, and it will just TURN. OFF.
I don't know what this all is. Did I offend the technology gods in a past life and this is their retribution? Fifty years ago, was I one of those old farts who ran around speaking crazy talk along the lines of "That tel-e-vision is the work of the devil! Its Satans Soapbox!" and now the technology gods are exacting their revenge?

Whatever it is, I wish to atone. Because this is getting old. And expensive.

Yawn

2009-03-09T00:19:00.000-07:00

I had a full weekend, but didn't go out at all.
Saturday I stayed in and got a few things done around the house - mainly I went through the cabinets and disposed of all of the empty coffee cans, butter tubs, and jelly jars that my grandmother has been hoarding. The recycling bin is quite full this week.
Today, Cooper and I spend about two and a half hours at the dog park. He is quite worn out and has been sleeping well ever since.
I also conned my brother into doing some manual labor around the house.
My only activities outside of this house all weekend were to the dog park, and to Home Depot to pick up some materials for the fence repairs.
I was able to get quite a few chores done, and some quality cuddle time with the doggies.

Obedience Class

2009-03-04T21:23:00.000-08:00

We had our first obedience class this past Monday, and overall, I think Cooper enjoyed it. He got to sniff a bunch of new butts and got a number of treats. He was one of the better behaved dogs in class, not the best, but not the worst either.
Unfortunately he did the shortest attention span.
Treats are definitely his motivation. If Coop knows that you've got a treat in your hand, he will track you. Even if he is sitting still, his head follows you wherever you go -- thats what he did to the trainer. He knew that she had a treat in her hand, I wouldn't let him go and jump on her, I kept making him sit, so he tracked her with his eyes willing her to give him a piece of that puperoni.
Shes telling us to not tell the dogs "no" when they do some undesired behavior, because then if they hear us say "no" in normal conversation it can be confusing to them. So, shes telling us to try to come up with some other sound, like how Cesar Millan says "Tsshh!" or something similar. She goes on to say that if we're already in the habit of saying "no" and can't break that habit, to always pair "no" with the action so that we're saying "no jump" or "no bite" or "no bark"
This whole time, Cooper has been staring her down for that puperoni in her hand. Right as she says "no bark" he lets out with a not too quiet "ARARRWARORWERAROW!"
Of course, she starts laughing and walks over and gives him a treat. She said "no bark" so he barks, and she gives him a treat. I'm thinking she's a worse pushover for his cuteness than even I may be.
About half way through class he started pawing at the door and standing up, trying to paw at the door knob, to let me know that he needed to go potty. So, I take him outside and he goes potty, but once we got back into class his attention was no longer the same. He was fixated with searching the floor for remnants of puperoni that may have been dropped by the trainer.
We do have 2 items for homework this week
1 - "Watch me" for Coop to look me in the eye when I say "watch me"
2 - and this is the one he hates - "Massage and cradle". Yes, I have to massage and cradle him as part of this weeks homework exercise. I'm not exactly certain why, when she was going over that I was also trying to convince him that there were no bits of puperoni that he hadn't already found.

Super Lazy Weekend.. Well, Not Really

2009-03-01T23:16:00.000-08:00

I had two photography jobs this weekend - both were for a non-profit charity, photographing a childrens fashion show. It was for next to no pay, but I have zero experience photographing fashion shows, so I figure that it got me some experience out of it and I was able to learn that I don't particularly care to photograph fashion shows - at least not low budget ones that have horrible lighting that create a nightmare for me to go through and make lighting corrections in photoshop afterwards.
Saturday, the job was in Emeryville, and today the job was here in Sacramento.
Yesterday, on the way to Emeryville, I stopped off in Fairfield on the way to drop Cooper off at my aunts house so that he could play with her dogs all day. He LOVED it, it really tired him out and drained him of all energy. He SLEPT like you wouldn't believe last night, and so did I. I am severely allergic to cats, and my aunt has a couple, so when I stopped off at her house in the morning I started having reactions. My aunt gave me one of her Zyrtec, and while this is one of the few drugs that typically doesn't make me drowsy, it did make me drowsy yesterday. I had taken it at about 9 in the morning, and thankfully it didn't cause the drowsiness until that evening. However, once it kicked in, it kicked it... and it kicked in about 1/2 way home from Fairfield. I got home around 6:30 last night and thought that I would just take an hour or so nap to sleep off the drugs. I didn't wake up until about 10:30, and then only got up long enough to get something to eat, then I was back in bed until 9 this morning when I had to get up for todays job. I got home around 4, and again went to bed - this time only until about 7pm. Once up, I ran a bunch of errands and fixed dinner. Considering how little I've actually been awake this weekend, I've gotten a decent amount of chores done.
Tomorrow is Coopers first obedience class. I'm hopeful that he'll do well, he can be a stubborn little bugger though.
This is one of my favorite photos of him from the dog park. He just looks like he's having so much fun!

Frugal Living

2009-02-26T22:22:00.000-08:00

The past couple of months I've been staying in a lot more - less going out to the pub with friends, less dining out, less entertainment.
I wish I could be virtuous and say that this was all in an attempt to save money, or to curb the extravagances. I am not that virtuous.
All of this started when Cooper went missing, I was coming home in the evenings because I didn't feel like being out with friends while he was missing - I wanted to be near home in case anyone called saying that he'd been found, I wanted to drive around my area to check on all of the flyers I'd put up to ensure that they were still there.
This had a domino effect in that it resulted in me staying in and cooking the household meals more often, spending less on dining out, less on going to the pub, less on entertainment.
Theres been a couple of byproducts of this. The first is that I'm exploring my culinary skills more than I have in the past, and with some pretty good results. I've discovered the slow cooker. I can not believe that I have never cooked with a slow cooker before - its like magic! I put some stuff in the pot in the mornings, and when I get home from work that night, VOILA! Dinner is ready and the house smells heavenly.
Since its been chilly, grey, rainy and dreary for what feels like well over a month now, I've been doing some comfort foods - chicken breasts with stuffing, beef stew, chicken and dumplings (not in the slow cooker). I've been looking up various slow cooker recipes, getting tips from friends and coworkers, and experimenting a little on my own.
I've gotten some good results, and I've gotten some "eh" results. Thankfully, I haven't gotten any horribly disgusting results.
I've been able to catch up on a few long neglected chores around the house, I've read some good books, watched some good movies. Its nice to be a homebody for a while.
My newest experiment? I'm making my own laundry detergent.
Thats right, bitches. I'm making my own laundry detergent.
I'd seen this about a year or so ago and was curious to make my own laundry detergent at that time, but just never got around to it. Why would I want to sit at home and grate a bar of laundry soap when I could be out doing stuff with friends?
Tonight, I started the process. I had finally found all of the ingredients (bar laundry soap, Borax, washing soda, oxy clean) so this evening I sat down to watch Survivor with a cheese grater and a bar of soap - only took about 10 minutes. Totally worth it to save the amount of money, and phosphates, that this is supposed to.
The hardest ingredient to find was the washing soda. I couldn't find it at my normal grocery store, it wasn't at Walmart (and they carry everything!). I finally found it at my local Food Maxx, but I imagine that it would probably be at similar non-unionized discount grocers - possibly Food 4 Less or WinCo. The other item I had a little trouble locating was the bar soap - I found bar soap everywhere, it was just the specific brand, Fels Naptha, that was indicated. After reading a few other sites about making your own detergent, I went with Zote brand - that I was able to find EVERYWHERE. I also read sites that indicated the Fels Naptha brand is sometimes found with body soaps despite it being labeled as a laundry soap, and I also read that castile soaps, such as Dr. Bronners, works well too.
The recipe indicates that one bar of Fels Naptha is supposed to yield about 2 cups when grated. I got a considerable amount more - SIX cups. I don't know if the Zote bar is larger than the Fels Naptha, or what - but this allowed me to triple the recipe.
The cost savings is amazingly cheap. A box of Borax was about $3, the box of washing soda was around $2, the bar of Zote was about $1.50, and I was able to pick up the Oxy Clean at a local $1 store. Total cost - roughly $7.50, plus I have enough Borax, washing detergent, and Oxy Clean left for at least another triple batch. Estimating I can buy another bar of soap for $1.50 and make another triple batch, that brings total costs up to $9 - lets say $10 when you factor in the sales tax.
Another perk is that a light load of laundry uses only 1 Tbsp, a large or heavy load takes 2 Tbsp. That means that ONE batch will give you enough detergent for approximately 35 large or heavy loads, so six batches will accommodate 210 large or heavy loads... I'll round down to 200 for easy math.
200 loads of laundry for a total cost of $10 - thats only 5 cents per load. Much cheaper than Tide or Arm & Hammer.
I haven't actually tried this just yet - I only finished mixing it all together about 30 minutes ago. However, as soon as I finish my first load, I'll let you know how it turns out. Just from looking at it I would suggest that you keep it in an airtight container, obviously, but would also suggest that you shake the container before each use. From what I can tell already, it seems as though the powder ingredients (Borax, washing soda and oxy clean) have a tendency to settle to the bottom.
Reading through the comments on the original recipe that I followed, people seem to indicate that this formula is great for HE washers because it generates less suds, and that it is ideal for hot temperature washes. However, if you need to do a load in a cold wash, users seemed to have good results when they ran the washer on warm or hot for the first 30-45 seconds or so, then switched to cold water.
Users also said that this worked perfectly for those with ultra-sensitive skin, ideal for babies, and much better for the environment than standard commercial detergents. When I make the next batch, I think I will consdier using a Dr Bronners castile soap rather than the Zote. I would definitely use a castile soap if I were using this on laundry for an infant - more natural ingredients since the Zote or Fels Naptha do still contain some petro-chemicals.
I've been told that there is a way to use these same ingredients and by boiling them down you can make a liquid laundry detergent... I just didn't feel like "cooking" laundry detergent and thought I'd go with the powder formula first. However, here is the liquid version in case you're interested, I may try this next time rather than another powder version.

Dog Days

2009-02-22T22:03:00.000-08:00

It wasn't that long ago that Cooper spent a week at the vets, being treated for parvovirus. At that time, I was worried that he wouldn't make it through the illness, or that if he did, he would never be the same energetic pup that he had been just days before.
Then, he managed to escape from my yard. Twice. The first time was just for 3 days, but the second time was for three entire weeks. Thankfully, I was able to bring him home where he has remained ever since.
Once he was neutered, microchipped, fully vaccinated, and had healed from the neutering, I wanted to take him to the dog park. I wanted to get him out with other dogs so that he could play off some of his excess energy and socialize with other dogs. Unfortunately, the weather the past couple of weeks has prevented a trip to the dog park. Saturday, there was a break in rain so Cooper and I went.
It was fantastic to watch him play with everyone. Hilarious because you could tell that he was a little overwhelmed at first... so many butts to sniff, where to start?
It was wonderful to see him running and playing with all of the other dogs -- he was especially interested in a Miniature Australian Shepherd and a Pug mix. He was also intrigued by the big dogs (he thinks he is one) on the other side of the fence.

An hour at the dog park works up quite a thirst.

"So, thats what it takes to get Vanessa to exercise"

2009-02-19T20:33:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I came home from work and as I pulled into my driveway, I saw a woman down the street trying to get a hold of a small black dog that was running down the road.
Initially, my heart skipped about a dozen beats. My very first thought was that Cooper had somehow managed to get out of the yard, again. Thankfully, that was not the case. I ran up a little ways to ask the woman if she needed help catching her dog. The dog wasn't hers, but we could see that the dog had a collar with tags so we wanted to grab him so that, one, he wouldn't get hit, and two, we could call his owner.
The dog was being INCREDIBLY evasive, so I ran into my house to grab some milk bones, hoping to lure him close enough for me to get a grip on his collar. He did come up for the milk bone, but snatched it out of my hand and took off before I could grab him. This woman (who's name I never got) and I walked/jogged/ran this dog for over 40 minutes. Two more women in the neighborhood joined us in our efforts.
Collectively, were getting really concerned for this little guy. It was getting dark and our street is not well lit in addition to having a lot of trees, so it gets pretty dark, and this dog is solid black. On top of that, people have a tendency to drive down our street way too fast. One man in particular came flying down the street as we're standing in the middle of it, waving flashlights at him and waving our arms for him to slow down. He sees the dog at the last minute and slams on his brakes, barely missing this dog. He was suddenly ambushed by four women cursing him out to "Slow the F down when you drive on our street!"
For 40 minutes we followed this dog, circling back, venturing down different driveways in the attempt to get him out of harms way and back to his home.
In the end he ran into someones front yard where there were two children, a boy and a girl. When he allowed the little girl to hold on to him, we thought he'd found his home. Not so, he lives in the house across the street. The little boy started walking over to the dogs home, telling me that he had been trying to bring the dog home since he got out of school that afternoon and had chased him about 2 miles down the road, but stopped when they got to a busy intersection because he was afraid that the dog would run out into traffic and get hit.
When the boy went up to the door of the owner and told her that her dog was over in her yard but that he didn't bring him over because he didn't have a leash and was afraid that the dog would get away again.
Now, if I go back to last month, and if a neighbor had come over to tell me that Cooper was in their yard across the street, I would have been pounding pavement to get my behind over there to bring him home. This dog had been out at least since that boy had gotten out of school that afternoon - about 4 hours - and this woman was not out looking for him.
Do you want to know what he said to the boy who had her dog over in his yard?
A flat toned "oh, do you want his leash so you can bring him over?".
I was outraged that she showed so little concern over her pet. Add that lack of concern to how obvious it was that the dog was not well socialized around people, and I would be willing to bet money that the poor thing is put out in a yard and left there, alone, given very little interaction with people. At that point, I just walked away because I knew that if I started to say anything to this woman, it would not go well and that I would probably be less than kind - not a good example to set in front of the boy that was there. So, I walked back home.
I was sweaty, out of breath, and realized that considering I had just had more exercise in those 40 minutes that I have had in several months, that I am in the worst physical shape that I have ever been. When I got home and sat down, I started coughing... a very productive cough. Not. Good. Smoking. Bad.
So, what did I do? I sent the following text message to a couple of friends:

Omg. Just spent 40 mins running trying to catch a lost dog in my neighborhood. fat + smoker = not meant for running. So going to pub

Because what do you do after coming to the realization that you're in incredibly poor physical shape? You go drink and smoke.
Cooper and I get to the pub and as I walk in to the bar, one of my friends looks at me and starts laughing.
"Can I tell you what my first thought was when I got your text?"
"Sure."
"So, thats what it takes to get Vanessa to exercise. Just dangle a poor lost animal in front of you."
I looked at her and said, "yep, you're about right."
So, if I could just find a lost animal to chase for about 40-45 minutes, twice a week, then that could save me from some monthly gym fees. Or, I could just join that gym.

It's Time To Reclaim My Position

2009-02-16T18:57:00.000-08:00

As the master of the house that is.
Before Cooper went missing, he was no where near perfectly trained. He would sit the majority of the time, occaisionally it took more than one time of saying "sit", he would sometimes "stay" but most of the time not, he would occaisionally "heel", and he had gotten past the chewing stage. He definitely needed training. Then, he went missing for 3 weeks and everything regressed.
He will not "stay".
He will not "heel".
He will "sit"... when he thinks theres a treat coming his way.
He is back to chewing on things. He hasn't destroyed anything of worth. Yet, but if he can get something out of the trash, such as an empty treat container, he will chew it up and will chew on USB and power cords that hang off the back of my computer desk. Also, he has started chewing on my hands and arms and on Sams ears and legs.
Like I said, what little training I had accomplished was undone those weeks that he was missing, and I take full responsibility in not correcting it the minute he returned. I've spent the past 2 weeks since he's been home being overindulgent and letting him get away with all of this poor behavior. Now, I'm paying the price in that he does not listen.
It's time for obedience school or training classes of some sort. It is time for me to reclaim my position as the alpha dog in this pack... as his master.
What I need help with is finding classes. Can anyone suggest affordable and effective training? Any opinions on PetSmart or Petco? I think he would do better with a smaller class since he does get very excited whenever he sees other dogs (he wants to play and make friends!!!) but I do think a class setting would be better than private training since we do need to work on his behavior around other dogs.

It Runs In the Family

2009-02-14T02:10:00.000-08:00

Overall, my family is a fairly intelligent group of people. Of course there are certain areas where this is more prevalent than others... as a whole, we tend to pick up languages easily, there a couple very gifted writers, we tend to be ahead of the curve when learning new topics. For some of us, this translates to very practical purposes, for others it applies to more abstract topics.
Despite this, we are all prone to moments of extreme.... dippyness. We all do things that make a person look at us and want to pat us on the head while saying "you're pretty". The one who does this the most frequently is my aunt, Gloria.
A few years ago Gloria was over one day and used my shower. This is something that her and her daughters love to do - use my shower - because one of my self indulgences is bath products. In my shower you are guaranteed to find at least 2 different types of shampoo & conditioner, 3 body washes, and a variety of loofahs and loofah type products.
Anyways, Gloria used my shower and when she came out she said "Hey Ness, I LOVE your new exfoliating glove. Its fanastic! I hope you don't mind that I used it".
Vanessa: No prob... what?
Gloria: Your exfoliating glove.
V: What exfoliating glove?
G: The one in your bathroom. It was on top of the toilet.
V: I don't have an exfoliating glove.
G: Yeah you do - the blue rubbery one.
V: ... :::blinking:::....
G: Hang on, I'll get it.

and she comes back out with this

I busted up laughing.
G: Whats so funny?
V: hahahahaha..snort...hahaha
G; What?
V: Take a good look at that.. hahahaha
G: What?
V: Thats not an exfoliating glove. Thats a grooming glove. I bathe the dogs with it... you're so pretty.

A Nessacery Tutorial

2009-02-11T20:13:00.000-08:00

Last week news broke that a mortgage company located in Sacramento turned out to be a Ponzi scheme. As this news was about to be broadcast and published, one of the key players chartered a private jet and fled the country. Then it came to light that there were actually three key players and all three had fled the country within the past year.
I've been following this story because the mortgage company in question spent the past year leasing one of the suites in the office building where I work.
The further things unraveled, it turned out that this mortgage company was not actually a Ponzi scheme, but allegedly was purchasing real estate and selling the properties to "straw buyers".

A "straw buyer" is someone whose credit is used to purchase a property and secure financing. Sometimes they cooperate willingly and sometimes they are victims of identity theft, but it's always illegal.

This scheme has allegedly resulted in the fraud of about $100 million from lenders.
On Tuesday, two of these men were detained. One was arrested in Spain where he is being held, and is currently fighting extradition to the US. A second, the one who chartered the private jet, had flown from Las Vegas to Ireland, then from Ireland to Lebanon, then from Lebanon to Canada. In Canada he was attempting to take a taxi across the border where he was arrested.
What have we learned about attempting to flee the US?
1. Research what countries have extradition treaties with the US. Then don't go there.
2. Once you've fled the country, DON'T COME BACK.
3. Criminals are dumb.

Read the whole story here.

Pork 'n Pasta

2009-02-09T19:35:00.000-08:00

A couple days ago I mentioned my compulsion for stocking my pantry with canned beans and tomato products. In an attempt to use up some of those items, I prepared dinner with a couple of them this evening.
I didn't want to go with the obvious chili or stew, so I took a peek at what else I had in the fridge and pantry to see what else I could come up with. I have no idea of what I should call the resulting dish. I'll try to write it up as much like a real recipe as I can.

Ingredients
1 lb gemelli pasta, or similar
1 lb ground pork
1/2 of a yellow onion, chopped
2 heaping Tbsp minced garlic
2 14.5 oz cans Italian style stewed tomatoes
1 15.5 oz can canelini beans, rinsed & drained
1 bag spinach, rinsed and torn into pieces
16 oz package sliced mushrooms
Italian seasoning
pepper
olive oil
shredded parmesan (the kind in the little tub, not in a can. Cheese should never come in a can)

Prepare pasta according to package directions (see! already sounding like real recipe). As a standard rule, I always add a little bit of olive oil and garlic salt with parsley to the water that I prepare the pasta in.

In a large pot, pour in a little bit of olive oil. Add in the garlic, onion, and pork and brown all 3 together. Once the pork has been adequately browned, add in the beans and tomatoes (do not drain the tomatoes). Stir in the mushrooms. Allow this mixture to simmer for approximately 20 minutes. At this point, it should look like this:

Rinse, drain and tear the spinach into pieces

Gradually add the spinach to the pork mixture, stirring as you go to allow the spinach to wilt into the sauce. Once you've added in all of the spinach, season to taste with pepper and Italian seasoning. I use the Italian seasoning that comes in one of those grinder bottles.

Serve with shredded parmesan cheese.

I'll probably make this dish again, but do some alterations to it. I think the sauce could have used some tomato past, not much though, maybe just one small can. OR, if I do it again, I may drain the tomatoes completely and add some cream and allow it to cook down some. I'll continue to experiment with it and see what develops.

This. Is. WAR.

2009-02-08T00:41:00.000-08:00

Last week, before Cooper came home, I went out back to feed Sam on our patio one evening. Rather than eat, Sam wanted to stay inside. So, I left the bowl of food on the patio thinking that he would eat it when I let him out to go to the bathroom later.

Later, when I let him outside, his dish was empty. What?
So, after he'd gone to the bathroom I put him back in the house, put a little more food in his dish on the patio, and then watched out the window. Within 2-3 minutes, a couple of rats come up and start eating out of the dish. RATS. Mother effing rats! I know that I have to do something about this so I start asking around at work for advise on how to deal with this.

Of course, a number of people suggest that I get d-con, but after what I went through with Maddie last year I am beyond hesitant to use d-con.
I consider the traditional spring action traps, like what you would see on an old episode of Tom & Jerry. But, I'm sure that just like happened to Tom, I would set the trap on myself and only succeed in breaking a finger which in true cartoon fashion would immediately swell to 5 times the size of any other finger and visibly throb a glowing red.
So, I decide to go with glue traps. The last time I went to the store, I did not take a list so of course I forgot to get them. Today I went back to the store. With a list. With the glue traps on the list.
I decided that the only sure way to put the glue traps in a path that the rats would take, would be to put them near food. So, tonight I filled a small bowl with food and completely surrounded it with the traps. An hour later I go to look out the window to see what kind of progress has been made. When I go to the window, what do you think I saw?
THE MOTHER EFFING RATS HAD EFFING MOVED THE G.D. GLUE PADS OUT OF THEIR MOTHER EFFING WAY AND EATEN THE MOTHER EFFING BOWL OF FOOD!!!
Thats right, they moved the traps out of the way so that they could get to the food.

I have no clue what step I will take next, but I WILL win this challenge. I WILL come out the victor.

Any tips or suggestions?

What I Love About Cooper

2009-02-06T23:35:00.000-08:00

I am SO incredibly overjoyed to have Cooper back. overwhelmingly filled with joy. The first 24 hours after I got him back, I don't think I stopped smiling once. I was giddy, over the moon, words can not possibly describe how happy I was.

The first morning he was home, he was so effing cute and adorable, it was hard to go to work. I really wanted to call in sick and spend the day with him, and he was pulling every trick in his hat to try to make that happen.
First, he would dance around me as I was walking around the house and then he would make his way back towards my bedroom, stopping every couple of feet to make certain that I was following him. Once he got to the bedroom, he hopped up on my bed and snuggled into the blankets as if to say "Look, we could just stay in bed all day. We could cuddle, you could give me belly rubs, I could give you kisses, and we could eat fauxreos! It would be the perfect day!" It was tempting, very very tempting, but I continued to get ready for work. At that point he tried one of his old tricks... he tried to prevent me from getting dressed. As I am putting on my pants, he jumps up, gently grabs my pants with his mouth, and pulls them back down. It is hilarious. I missed this little trick of his SO much while he was gone. At one point during the 3 weeks that he was missing, I made a list of all of the things he did that I missed. At the time, I was afraid that if he never came back home that I would eventually forget all of his little quirks that I find so endearing. These are the things I love about Cooper.
How much he loves Sam. Any time they are reunited after being separated, the first thing Cooper does is jump up and give Sam kisses on his face.
In the mornings, Cooper wakes me up by covering my face with kisses. If he is hungry, thirsty, or needs to go outside, and I don't get up quickly enough for him, he will gently grab my hand with his mouth and try to pull me up and out of bed.
In the mornings that he wants me to stay in bed with him, he will lay on me to try to prevent me from getting out of bed.
He can be a fairly picky eater. If I've gotten some treats for him that he doesn't particularly care for, rather than eating them he will take them and drop them in my purse. It can be annoying to be looking through my purse for my car keys or something like that and instead find crumbled up bits of a dog biscuit, but I missed it while he was gone.
He knows my morning routine and herds me through it. He knows that I go from my bed, to the bathroom, then to the kitchen for a cup of coffee, and he walks right alongside my feet herding me through this routine. If I deviate from that route at all he is momentarily confused.
The way he reacts whenever I bring the leash out. He knows that means we're going somewhere and he starts jumping and dancing and racing towards the door. He gets SO excited that it can be challenging to clip the leash to his collar.
He knows the route to the pub, recognizes when we're getting close and knows that it means he's going to see friends who will give him love and attention. He LOVES being out in public - a true social butterfly.
Sometimes, he lays down on his belly with his legs stretched out behind him. Like a frog.
When I'm at the computer he lays on his side at my feet.

His eyelashes. I know that sounds weird, to love a dogs eyelashes, but his are amazing. He has got the longest eyelashes I have ever seen on anyone or anything. Seriously, a drag queen would not wear eyelashes like this because they are too long and outrageous.

His lack of a face. His hair gets so fluffy, and is so thick, that at times it looks as though he doesn't have eyes or a mouth. At least thats what my friend Phil has always said. Actually, when Cooper was sick with Parvovirus back in December, Phil claimed that it wasn't parvo that was making him sick at all but the lack of a mouth because how can a puppy possibly stay healthy without a mouth with which to eat and drink?

He LOVES LOVES LOVES car rides

He lets me know when he's ready to go to bed. If I'm sitting here on the computer and its what he has decided is bedtime (midnight, by the way... which really should be my bedtime anyways). Right around midnight, he will come up to me and first STARE at me, if that doesn't work then he will start talking to me.
The way he eats fauxreos - licking out all of the cream filling first.
He prefers to drink running water. When I go into the bathroom, he will jump into the tub and wait for me to turn the faucet on to a rapid drip.
When he's been recently groomed (with a cut, not just bathing), his hair looks, and feels, like plush velvet.
The way his tail curls up and over his back end.
I love taking photos of him and playing with them in Photoshop.

Sam

2009-02-06T23:31:00.000-08:00

I've told you about Sam, now you can know what he looks like.

I Don't Know What My Issue Is

2009-02-05T22:30:00.001-08:00

As any one of my friends can attest, I have plenty of strange little quirks:
I can't go #2 in public bathrooms (it has to be a real urgent situation in order for me to do so).
No matter how messy my environment is, all books have to be facing in the same direction on the bookshelf.
I will buy any bath product that says it contains minerals or salts from the Dead Sea.
The list goes on, but you get the idea. Recently, I realized that I have another quirk. Almost every single time I go to the grocery store, I buy some variety of canned tomatoes and beans. Even if its not on my list and I am fairly certain I have some at home. As a result, my pantry is overflowing with both:

I do use both a lot in pasta sauces, soups, stews, chilis, etc, but I don't know why I buy them so compulsively.
Keep in mind that these photos do not show the dried beans and lentils that I have as well. Seriously, I have practically every variety of dried beans and lentils. Its as though I'm preparing for some sort of natural disaster.

I'm formulating a recipe to prepare for tomorrow night that will at least use up some of the tomato cans and possibly some beans as well. Hopefully it will turn out well, if so I'll post the recipe here.

But, I Never Gave Up Hope

2009-02-03T20:55:00.000-08:00

This morning I woke up, knowing that today marks 3 weeks since Cooper went missing.
Over the past week I've been rationalizing with myself that I will probably never see him again. Last Tuesday, which marked 2 weeks missing, I started trying to accept the fact that someone had most likely taken him in and made him a part of their family and was with someone who would give him as much love and care as I would.

Even though I was trying to rationalize this concept with myself, and accept the fact that he was gone, I still help on to the hope that I'd bring him home soon -- an overwhelming hope at times.

While I was at work this afternoon, my cell phone rang. When I answered it, a woman asked "Vanessa?"
"This is she"
"I think I have Cooper in my yard"

As soon as I got her address I flew out of work at went straight to her house.

Yes, it is Cooper. He is back at home, and doing fairly well considering he'd been missing for 3 weeks.
So, heres the story about how he was found.
The woman who found him, Zinny, had seen the flyers I'd put up throughout the neighborhood - there was one right in front of her house. Since she'd seen the flyer everyday, she knew what he looked like and his name.
This afternoon as she's in her kitchen, she hears a big commotion with the chickens in her backyard. Thinking that they were maybe laying eggs, she peeks out and sees Cooper chasing her chickens. Thinking that he looked like the dog on the flyer in front of her house, she called out "Cooper! Stop!" and he came running right up to her.

She thought he resembled the dog on the flyer, aside from him currently being in desperate need of a haircut, so she walked outside to the flyer to get my phone number and call me.

There is one thing that disturbed me about the condition he was in when I picked him up, that he's still in now. He has lost a considerable amount of weight - I would estimate he's lost about 3 lbs, and with how small he is thats quite a bit. I can feel his spine, and its really obvious when I bathe him. When he's dry, his fluffiness hides how thin he currently is.
Also, someone definitely had taken him in. His collar was off and in its place was a metal link collar that had practically been BOLTED on him.

Its hard to tell in the photo, but that is basically an eye hook type closure that had been twisted shut. Here I've highlighted the closure:

A side-by-side comparison

I had to hold him while a friend took a pair of pliers to the closure in order to get it off of him. Between the weightloss, and the fact that he was fairly skittish when I tried to put his leash on him (COMPLETELY out of the norm for him usual behavior), and skittish while we were trying to get that nasty collar off of him, I have to wonder what happened to him while he was missing... who the hell had him and what on earth did they do to him?

When I brought him home this afternoon, the first thing I did was reunite him and Sam. Sam is ecstatic to have him home!
The second thing I did was call our vet and reschedule his appointment to be neutered and microchipped for this Friday.
After that, I gave him a MUCH needed bath. He still needs to get to the groomers, though. He has a considerable amount of matts and dreadlocks going on right now.
Then, he got a heroes welcome down at the pub. I had texted a few friends to let them know that he'd been found and they wanted to see it to believe it. He got lots of love, got the nasty collar removed, and had bar sausages bought for him.

When I got home tonight, I ordered a Together Tag for him ( www.togethertag.com ).

Currently, he is full of good food, snacks, and treats, and he and Sam are sleeping at my feet.

OH, and the big question...
I don't know exactly where he'd been for the past 3 weeks, but the woman who called me lives behind my next door neighbor.

A Great Idea, and the Story Behind Sam

2009-01-27T19:00:00.000-08:00

Today marks two weeks since Cooper went missing. I have been devastated the entire time, wishing that there was something more I could do to bring him home. I've done the following:
- posted flyers all through the area and at vets and pet stores
- checked the shelters & SPCA's in Sacramento, Placer, Yolo, and Sutter counties, including looking through the lists of deceased animals that have been picked up by animal control.
- repeatedly placed "missing" ads on Craigslist for all of Northern California and the Reno area and responded to every "found" dog ad in the same areas
- placed ads in the Sacramento Bee for both online and print
- emailed rescue groups
- listed him as missing on Petfinder and Petharbor
- consulted a pet psychic. Seriously, I actually did.

I don't know what more I can do at this point. He had a collar on with his rabies tag (which has my veterinarians information on it) and a tag with his name as well as my phone numbers (cell & home) on it. Still, I've heard nothing.

Cooper is such a social butterfly - every person he sees he views as a potential friend and immediately greets them and gives them kisses.

As much as it breaks my heart, at this point I have to assume that someone took him in and have adopted him into their family and chosen to not call me. Because he is that cute and sweet and loving.

Today, I get an email from Dogster about a new product they are offering on conjunction with the American Red Cross called "Together Tag".
This sounds like an amazing product, and I have to seriously wonder why no one thought of it sooner. The brief overview of how it works:
You buy the id tag for about $25 and have your pets name & phone # printed on it.
When you get the tag, it also has an id # and a website on it. If your dog goes missing, the person who finds your pet can call your phone number on the tag and if they're unable to reach you, they can go to the website and enter the id # on the tag indicating that they've found your pet.
Once they do that, you're sent an email notification AND they have visibility of alternate contact information - other people in your area and outside of your area who can be contacted to care for your pet if you are unable to be reached. you can also indicate special care instructions in the event that you are not able to meet up with the person who has your pet in a timely fashion - perfect for the pet who has a special diet or needs medications.
Also, if your pet goes missing you go to the website, enter your pets id # and notifications are automatically sent out to rescue groups, spca's and shelters.
Genius!

I will be getting this tag for my dog Sam, and any future pets I have.

Who is Sam, you ask?
Sam is my dog who is technically my sisters dog.
Huh? Confused? Yeah, its an odd situation.

In the summer of 2004, my sister Lindsay called me one day as I was leaving work and says "I found a dog and Grandma said I could keep him over there but he won't fit in Josh's (her loser boyfriend at the time) car. Could you come pick him up?"

So, I go over there and she tells me that she and the loser boyfriend had gone out to some junkyard in Rio Linda to get parts for his car. I believe that was code for "we went to our pot dealers house" and she said that as they were walking into the junkyard the man who runs the place starts yelling at them "Get your f-cking dog outta here!"
Confused, Lindsay turns around to see a giant black lab looking dog walking behind her. She said that htere was a trailer park down the road from the junkyard so she takes the dog over there and starts asking people in the park if he belongs there. Nobody recognizes him or knows who he belongs to. As she's walking through the park, one person tells her that they don't think its a good idea for her to leave the dog there because the man who runs the junkyard shoots at stray animals with a bb gun. So, Lindsay took him back to her boyfriends house with her and got permission from Grandma to keep him at our house because we have a larger yard.

When she brings Sam out from her boyfriends house, I'm expecting a typical black lab. Something around 70-80 lbs, maybe 90 lbs, right? I was SHOCKED when Sam came out. Sam is a solid 140 lbs. When he howls at a siren, it sounds like I've got Chewbacca in the back yard. Kinda like this, but much more drawn out:

We took him home, and the next day took him to our vet to see if there was a micro chip or anything. Nothing. He had a collar on, but no tags at all and no microchip or tattoo or any that could identify him. The vet examined him and sure enough, the man at the junkyard has been shooting at him with a bb gun. We had to have a dozen pellets removed from him.

We posted flyers, placed ads online & in the paper and at the shelters to try to find his owners because he had obviously come from a home where he was well cared for. He was trained, knew all verbal commands, very well behaved. However, we never got any responses. Instead, we got a 140 lb dog that my sister decided to name Sam... and then never cared for. While she continues to refer to Sam as "her" dog, I'm the one who cares for him, plays with him, grooms & bathes him, feeds him, and everything else. Sam really is my dog, I'm just better off to not say that around my sister.

When we got Sam, our vet estimated that he was about 5 years old which means he's now going on 10. The whole time we've had Sam he's always had a little buddy to run around with. At first, it was Maddie.
After Maddie died last year, he started to show his age. Instead of running and jumping and playing, he started moving a little slower and started having trouble getting up when he had been lying down.
When I first brought Cooper home, he was a little apprehensive at first to have this energetic spaz of a puppy running around, but within just a couple of days Sam was back to his youthful self. He was running and jumping and playing again, not showing his age at all. Now that Cooper is gone, he's once again starting to show his age. He's slowing down and seems to have a little trouble getting up again.
The part that really breaks my heart is when he's outside by himself I can hear him crying on our patio.
So, for now. I'm babying him more than usual. I'm trying to give him as much love and companionship as I possibly can.

Dilemma

2009-01-26T22:08:00.001-08:00

I've been on Weight Watchers for about four months now.
I've had some success, not a tremendous amount but some.
In the meantime, I've been spending $40 per month for the Weight Watchers membership. With that $40 I can attend meetings whenever I want, and use all of the online resources - community message boards, online weight tracker, recipe builder, stuff like that.
Out of all of those resources, the only thing I do actually use is the weekly meetings... and I'm not too thrilled about those. The "leader" we have is nice, but I just don't find the meetings to be all that engaging. To be completely honest, half of the time the meetings thoroughly piss me off. Now, I understand that if you're going into a meeting with at least a dozen other people who are trying to lose weight, there are going to be people who have issues with their relationship towards food.
There will be people who may not overeat, but just don't make the wisest choices in regards to what types of food they put into their body. These will be the people who eat regular meals, but maybe those meals don't have a proper nutritional balance - they may be to carb or fat heavy and are lacking in lean protein, fiber, whole grains and vegetables. Those are the people who need to put more focus on the quality of their food as opposed to the quantity. Those are the people who may not have a problem with passing over food when they aren't truly hungry. I believe that this is the category that I fall into.
What I've benefited from Weight Watchers in the past four months is that I've been reminded of how to make healthier choices... to chose baked over fried, to increase the vegetables and lean protein in my diet, to chose healthier fats such as olive oil and skim milk. I'm not saying that I make these healthier choices all of the time, but I'm trying - undoing a lifetime of poor choices is not going to happen overnight, theres going to be a learning curve and a transition phase. However, I know the basics and am on my way there.

My dilemma at this point is that I really don't want to attend the meetings any longer. I am bored beyond belief during the 45 minutes that I'm there, counting down the minutes until I can leave, and getting angry when the meeting goes over the scheduled time. Since I know the basics at this point that I can continue with implementing them into my daily life on my own. I have the resources to make educated choices, and have the motivation (more in a moment...) to continue with the weight loss.

Also, theres other things I could do with that $40 each month. Like, join a gym.
I can get a discounted gym membership through my work to 24 Hour Fitness for less than $40 each month.

I've got motivation to continue losing weight, and motivation to start working out more.
The weight loss motivation is my cousin Carries wedding. At the end of August I'm going to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, and this is the dress I'll be wearing:

You see how I'm going to need to try to tone my arms up a bit for that?

The motivation to start exercising more is the 3-day, 60 mile, breast cancer walk I'm planning on participating in this fall. I've got a lot of training to do if I'm seriously going to complete this walk without killing myself.
I've also gotten the idea in my head that I NEED to hike the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu. I think I got this idea when I found roundtrip airfare from San Francisco to Lima Peru for $409 this May. I don't want to go to Peru and NOT see Machu Picchu, but I also know that I am not in the physical shape that the hike would demand. While everything I've read says that the hike is not that challenging as far as the terrain is concerned, the altitude is what makes it demanding. In order to successfully complete the hike I would need to train for it physically, at high elevations as well as on a stair master. I would love to be able to go to Peru and complete this goal next April - thats the tail end of the "wet" season and right before the crowded tourist season begins.

So, what should I do?
Stick with Weight Watchers and go to the dreaded meetings each week, or drop it, continue the better eating habits on my own, and join a gym?
Historically, I have done better with weight loss when I've gone to the gym and worked out and am hoping that doing that again would help to boost my currently sluggish metabolism.
Let me know your opinion in the poll on the left.
Also, let me know what you think of the dress!

Something Entertaining

2009-01-13T23:33:00.000-08:00

So, I need to put something up here thats a little less depressing. Something light hearted. Something entertaining.

Here is the story about how my mother C-blocked me about a month or so ago.
Yes, you did read that correctly. My very own mother C-blocked me.

About a week or so after Thanksgiving I call my mom on my way home from work and she is out drinking with a friend. They originally met for lunch and had a couple of margaritas and then moved along to a local bar for gin and tonics. I could tell my the slur in her voice that she is in NO shape to drive home so I head towards Folsom to pick her up.

It was FREEZING cold and I was desperately trying to get my mom to leave when her friend felt it was necessary to get another round of drinks. I go inside to help her carry the drinks and when I come out theres a guy named Dan sitting at our table and my mom is holding her hand up to him. I had noticed him before - we'd briefly chatted and he'd bummed a smoke off of me. I'd noticed that he was cute it a slightly uptight conservative kind of way, but whatever. I figured he was coming from work or something himself.

Dan: Um. She said I needed to sit down and.... release my negative energy?
Mom: Yes. I'm picking up on some negative energy from you, you need to release that. Why are you angry?
Dan: Um. Im not angry.
Mom: What are you mad about
Dan: Um, I'm not mad
Mom: What are you afraid of? fear is a negative energy too
Dan: Im... I'm not afraid
Mom: Did you get in a fight with someone today? An argument with someone? A coworker? Your parents?
Dan: Nooo
Mom: Did you just break up with your girlfriend? Are you hurt about that? What happened?
Dan: Um. I broke up with my girlfriend about 7 or 8 months ago?
Mom: I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! Tell us about it

and it went from there. My mom and her friend attacked him, badgering him about what he could do to get back together with his ex-girlfriend and so on and so on.

The part that REALLY got me was that several times in the midst of telling him how he should get back together with his ex, she said

"You seem like a nice guy! I'd introduce you to my daughter here!"

Trust me, it was a struggle to not
A: scream "Shut the F up then and let US talk!
or
B: "accidentally" knock her 7th (thats right, 7th...) gin & tonic into her lap.

But, I kept my cool and just sat there silently.

The only satisfaction I got out of the whole night was that my mother had a hangover for about 2 days afterwards. Unfortunately, she also projectile vomited all over the passenger side of my car. I found out that those map pockets on car doors can do double duty as vomit basins.

Sigh. He was cute. I wonder if he would mind hanging out with a woman who's mother is looney and prone to drunken vomiting.

After stewing on this for a while, I posted the story on Craigslist Missed Connections. What can I say? He was cute.

Sucks

2009-01-13T18:56:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I got a call from a vet that Cooper had been found.

I picked him up, and took him to my regular vet where he got the vaccination that he was supposed to have received Saturday while he was missing. I brought him home, fed him, watched him and Sam (my other dog) give each other kisses, and I left him out back with Sam while I went back to work.

On my way home from work I stopped at PetsMart and got a tag for his collar that has his name, both of my phone #'s, and my home address on it.

When I got home last night, I took Cooper for a walk where we took down all of the flyers that I had put up around the neighborhood and then when we got home I gave him a bath and lots of treats (because he hates baths).

This morning we snuggled, I let him outside to go potty, brought him back in for a bit, then put him back outside when I left for work.

Around noon Grandma called to tell me that he wasn't in the backyard with Sam anymore.

Once again, I have searched the area and have found no sign of him.

Again I find myself asking you that if you know anyone in the Citrus Heights, Roseville, or surrounding areas, please forward along this notice.

There does seem to be a pattern though. Last Thursday night I had taken him for a long walk and on Friday, he disappeared. Last night I took him on a long walk and today he disappeared. My Grandma has a theory that while we're out on these walks, he's picking up the scent of some female dogs and is escaping in an attempt to get laid.

I'm hoping that someone picks him up and calls me soon.

Cooper

2009-01-12T09:40:00.001-08:00

Cooper is now home - someone dropped him off at a veterinarians office this weekend and I was able to pick him up this morning!

Cooper is Missing

2009-01-10T20:33:00.000-08:00

Last night I came home to find that Cooper was not in my yard.
Somehow he managed to either get out, or was taken from my back yard.

I have searched the neighborhood and have not found a trace of him.
I have also checked at local shelters, animal care and regulation, and spca's.
I have also posted "lost" ads on Craigslist, Petfinder, Petharbor, and Wailtag.
Tomorrow I will be plastering the area with Lost flyers and Monday I will be mailing the flyers out to veterinarians.

Please, if you know of anyone in the Citrus Heights, Roseville, or surrounding areas, please forward along this notice. I just want to bring him home.
If you have any other tips for how I may find him, please please please let me know.

A Belated Happy New Year

2009-01-06T21:09:00.000-08:00

2008 was a good year.

I was able to visit London for a week in April and then in August some friends and I went camping in Fort Bragg.
That was the extent of my travel for 2008. It may not have been as extensive as 2007 when I visited Oregon, Germany, France, Salt Lake City, and Italy, but it was just as enjoyable. My fair skin and curly hair agree with the misty climates of the British Isles and the Northern California coastal regions. My demeanor also agrees with pints of Guinness in an authentic pub and cocktails around campfires -- both with good friends, of course.

Now, for the big question... What are my New Years resolutions?
This is a tricky one. I was considering not doing any resolutions at all because a year can sometimes seem like a long time and I've got the attention span of an oh look! Something shiny!
Truth be told, typically at the beginning of the year I will come up with resolutions, and within just a couple of weeks I've completely forgotten what they were.
I've decided that this year I"m not going to come up with resolutions for the year. Instead, I am going to have an "action plan" (by the way, I hate that phrase -- SO corporate employee improvement oriented. If you can think of a better term, please let me know) for each week. I will have things to accomplish during the week that are aimed at more long term goals... baby steps towards the bigger picture.
This weeks baby steps:
1. Go for a walk - simple enough, right? I plan on doing the 3-day, 60 mile, breast cancer walk next fall. I'd better start working towards it. This Saturday is the perfect opportunity, some friends are part of a running/walking training group and they're getting up Saturday to go running/walking along the American River at the butt crack of dawn. Also known as 8:30 am. I typically sleep in until about 10, if not later, on the weekends. This will probably be physically painful for me.
2. Work on my ongoing computer issues - a temporary resolution may be right around the corner! Not the resolution I'd like, but possibly something to get me by for a bit.
3. Get back on track with Weight Watchers. Around Halloween at some point I stopped journaling and keeping track of points and everything but have continued to loosely (very loosely) follow the plan and have been up and down since then. Since I'm paying monthly fees for this program I should be using it properly, right?
4. Resurrect my travel blog. I started 2008 pretty well on that thing, at least for the first two months, then things just kind of petered off. I'm going to be getting it back on track for 2009 though. I've already uploaded some photos from my London trip.
5. Take 5 usable photographs. I'd like to elaborate on this.... but can't yet. Top secret project in the works.

Thats pretty much it on this weeks task list. I'll let you know how they work out.

On a side note:
OH. MY. GOD. I want this and I am not ashamed to admit it. Okay, maybe I am just a little bit ashamed. But only a little.

The Big Chop

2009-01-03T10:18:00.000-08:00

Next Saturday Cooper goes back to the vet for another round of vaccinations. At that time I will be scheduling an appointment to have him neutered.
I think I might get him this as a get well present.
Thoughts?

What Am I, Exactly?

2008-12-30T22:15:00.000-08:00

Shauna, do not say "strange".
I prefer.... "quirky".

Anyways, I've been thinking.

If a woman is a mother and blogs about her children, shes called a Mommy Blogger, right?

Well, I don't have any children and I doubt that I ever will. If I do it probably won't be for a long time.

So, instead of children I have my puppy, Cooper, and I do blog about him on occasion. Okay, I've been blogging about him a lot lately. I think I may also have a tendency to anthropomorphize him a little bit, but what else am I supposed to do? He's my baby boy.

Since I blog about Cooper, does that make me a Doggy Blogger?
I'm okay with that, because he is quite the character and his antics provide me with quite a bit of blog fodder.

Cooper is an absolute sweetheart. He wants to play with everyone he meets, and thinks that everyone is his friend. The perfect example was his follow up visit with the vet a week after he was discharged.

We walked into the waiting room and had a seat while waiting for the vet to be available. After a couple of minutes another client walks in, a breeder of miniature schnauzers. She has a laundry basket full of seven seven week old puppies.

Cooper about lost his damn mind wanting to play with them. Since Cooper had just gotten over such a horrible virus, and these puppies were not yet vaccinated (thats what they were there for), I didn't want to risk him possibly still having some of the virus on him somewhere (yes, I recognize that I can be a bit of a hypochondriac. More on that later) and potentially contaminating seven puppies so I told him "sit".

He was pretty good, but sat there staring at the puppies and whimpering. For the most part he stayed in the sit position, but more than once he lifted his butt about an inch off the floor and slowly started scooting over to where the basket of puppies were, like I wouldn't notice him edging his way towards them if it appeared as though he was still sitting. I would tell him to sit again and he would sit back down, but he was whimpering as though I was asking him to do the most painful thing ever. Like it was Sophie's Choice or something.

Once we got into the exam room, Coop was happy to see the vet, remembering him from the previous week. The vet checked him out and deemed him recovered, then it was time for his vaccinations. Two of them for rabies and distemper.

With each vaccination, Cooper yelped from the needles, but after each vaccination he turned around and kissed our vet on the face. He just wants to love everyone he sees.

This is why I can't have him near the front door when I walk out of the house.

If he is near the front door when I'm leaving, and the stray cat that I feed on our front porch is within his line of sight, he wants to go play with her. Naturally she assumes that he's going to chase her so she takes of running and he runs after her so that they can play.

Do you have any idea what its like to chase a black puppy down a poorly lit street at night?

Steve, I Think We Need To Take a Break

2008-12-29T00:44:00.000-08:00

Don't worry, it's just a break. I'm sure that we'll get back together one day. I'm just not certain of when or under what conditions.
However, I'll be honest because thats the least you deserve. While we're on a break I'm seriously considering nailing the cheap copy girl like Ross did on Friends.... and by "nailing the cheap copy girl" I mean buying an affordable PC Notebook.

We were doing so well and going so strong for such a long time, but in the past six months things seem to have just fallen apart.

First, there was the iBook and kPod situation. That was a rough patch to weather through.

Then there was the PowerBook incident. I'd like to pretend that that whole situation never happened.

Now, I'm afraid to say that we've reached the third strike.

I started doing more photography this past year, did a wedding, a few portrait sessions, and had TWO photography shows (granted, they were at a coffee shop and not a gallery or a Second Saturday event, but they still count).

With spring rapidly approaching, I decided that I need to pursue the photography business more aggressively. This is the perfect time to start appealing to the brides to be and high school seniors. In order to do this, I'm going to need a system that has Photoshop on it. My old iMac desktop (5 years old as of last month) is currently running on Mac OS X Version 10.3.9. In order to be able to install Photoshop it needs to be running on Mac OS X 10.5 or higher. Simple enough of a dilemma to remedy, right? I go to Fairfield, borrow my aunts OS X 10.5 installation discs and bring it home.

I spent almost an entire weekend trying various attempts to update the OS on this blasted machine. I tried restarting the machine while holding Command+S and then entering different commands to prompt the system to check and repair all folders and drives (all of this while on the phone with my aunt who is a whiz at all things Mac and plans on becoming an Apple Certified Tech in her retirement). Everything checked out fine. I bought a laser lens cleaner and ran that through a few times as well in the hopes that it was just a dirty lens issue. That didn't help either.

The only thing we can figure at this point is that the entire disc drive needs to be replaced. If you look at my recent history with Apple products you can understand why I'm hesitant to throw money into a 5+ year old machine which I'm afraid will die on me any minute. But, without looking into that, theres no way I can upgrade the OS which means no Photoshop, which means to photography jobs.

I would LOVE nothing more than to be able to drive to the mall, go into the Apple Store, and walk out with a new MacBookPro. Unfortunately, recent vet bills have depleted my finances. MacBookPros start at $1,999.00. I went online and built the MacBookPro of my dreams:
17" Anti-Glare display
2.6GHz Intel Core 2 Duo Processor
320 GB Serial ATA @ 7200 Hard Drive
pre-installed Aperture 2 software
AppleCare Protection Plan (seriously, with my recent history with Apple products, I'm thinking it might be worth it)
Want to guess what the total comes to???
$3,597.00 before tax and/or shipping & handling.

I can get a Gateway notebook for around $900. True, its not comparable to the MacBookPro of my dreams, but its still over $1,000 cheaper than the cheapest MacBookPro which starts at $1,999.
Do I want a PC? Not necessarily. I would like to maintain my loyalties to Apple. I just can't afford to at this time.
My hope is that I get the PC notebook and put Photoshop on it so that I can start working the photography biz and line up some weddings, rake in the cash, and be able to get the MacBookPro of my dreams in the future.
I may get a PC only to have it underline and strengthen my love for Apple, or it may work like a dream and pull me away from Apple forever. Only time will tell.

Has it been two weeks?

2008-12-28T15:15:00.000-08:00

I can't believe its been two weeks since I last posted.

Final Cooper update - he is doing incredibly well. He could stand to put on another pound or two but aside from that you would never know that he'd been so sick.

Since he needs to put on a smidge of weight, I've been giving him lots of fauxreos and he's gotten so spoiled with this treat that he just eats the cream filling and leaves piles of cookies that are licked clean. If I have the audacity to give him a cookie that does not have a cream filling he sniffs it, licks it once, pushes it aside and gives me a look of disdain as though hes saying "Where the F are my fauxreos, mom?"

The only other sign that he's been sick recently is that he is shedding like crazy. He's never shed much in the past, but in the last week or two everything I own has become covered in a fine patina of his fur. The lint roller industry is loving me right now. I'm beginning to think that I'm their personal bailout package.
I did ask my vet about this and he said that it is common for this to happen after an animal has had a viral illness such as parvo.

Since I am so financially strapped after the vet bills, Christmas was on the meager side. I really only bought gifts for my 19 month old niece and my 8 year old cousin. For a few of the other family members, basically all of my older cousins and my sister, I made a sugar body scrub that is SO incredibly easy to make. I really wish that I had measured the ingredients out so that I could write a complete recipe for you here. Basically all I did was take a large can of pumpkin pie filling and mix it with sugars (both regular granulated sugar and sugar in the raw)until it was quite thick, then I added a little sweet almond oil and grapeseed oil (available at natural food stores). The drawback to this recipe is that since its primarily natural ingredients it does need to be kept refrigerated and I would estimate that it would only be good for about a week. If I get good feedback on it I may try to replicate it, taking note of the measurements this time, and post a complete recipe here.

I had started to knit a sweater for my mom, but didn't get it completed in time... I just finished the back of it today and still have to do the front and the arms. Plus, now that I've finished the back its looking like it won't fit my mom. I'm thinking its more my size. Whoops. Thats what I get for working without a pattern OR swatching ahead of time.
So, I've started the front just an hour or so ago. Why am I working on a sweater that might be for myself when I have so many other craft projects to do? No clue. I am the Queen of Procrastination.
On my craft to do list:
Necklaces earrings and bracelets - I have a friend whos daughter is in her sophomore year at UCLA and is on their fencing team. Last year she went to Europe for a number of tournaments and her dad bought about 2 dozen necklaces that I had made for her to take to give as gifts to their hosts and members of the other team. They were so well received that he's asked me to make more for her to take again this year. I think I have about 2 weeks to get all of these done.... and I will have to dig out all of my beading and jewelry making supplies.
Baby stuff - I have a couple of baby afghans, hats, etc to make for a certain little bun in the over. One of which will be an original pattern that I'm considering entering in a pattern contest that carries a grand prize of $1,000. That would be sweet to win.
Miscellaneous projects - in an effort to pay off the vet bills and hopefully generate some of the cash needed to purchase a new MacBookPro (so that I can pursue my photography business more aggressively) I've decided to set up a shop on Etsy. I'm not 100% certain of what exactly I will be putting up on their but I imagine it will include some of my jewelry (earrings, necklaces, bracelets, etc), knit and crochet goods (simple items that can be done quickly and at reasonable prices, like scarves, hats, tote bags, possibly baby afghans, etc), photography (prints, notecards, etc), and I'm considering a venture into soap making and may include some sugar scrubs.... but not the pumpkin one. I'm incredibly hesitant to put any perishable items on there. I'll blog it once I've uploaded some merchandise to the shop.

UPDATED:
All this talk of fauxreos has me craving real Oreos and a glass of milk.

Cooper Update

2008-12-13T16:46:00.001-08:00

Emergency Vet visit = $851.08
5 days at the regular vet = $947.62
Total = $1,789.70

having my baby boy home & healthy = priceless.

Also, a lesson to all on the importance of staying on schedule with vaccinations.

Cooper came home today. He finally ate a little for the vet last night & is showing signs of wanting to be playful, but he is still low on energy.
While he does still have diarrhea, its not quite as bad as it was just 2 days ago. Heck, its better than it was last night.
Next week, we go in for the remainder of his vaccinations. NOTHING will keep me from that appointment.

Professor RB Cooper

2008-12-11T22:31:00.000-08:00

A few months ago I introduced you all to my baby boy, Professor RB Cooper.

Cooper has been a huge joy to me for the past few months, and I fall more and more in love with him everyday. Seriously, he is a total and complete clown who makes me laugh at least once a day... but more about that later.

Despite how much I cherish and adore my Coop, I got behind schedule with his vaccinations and this past Monday evening I came home to find him very obviously sick. My first fear was that he had possibly come to the same fate that my dog Maddie did this past summer.
I called my mom and she came over and took us to the Emergency Vet. I told the vet my fears and they had another idea. After taking some samples from Coop there in the lobby, she had us go into an exam room. Cooper has contracted the parvovirus.
I admitted him to the emergency vet for the evening so that he could start the treatments he needed right away and the next morning I transferred him to my family's regular vet - Foothill Farms Veterinary Hospital.
Dr Malek and his entire staff are beyond phenomenal. The care that they are giving Cooper is amazing, and they are so personal and attentive. All week I have been calling several times each day to check in on Cooper, and they never get annoyed. Each time that I call someone goes to the room that Cooper is in and interacts with him so that they can give me an update of not only the medical issues that are on his chart but also that of his demeanor as of that moment.
In fact, when I called this afternoon I talked with a tech that I had not yet met or spoken with and when I said I was calling about him her response was "Coopers my cute little guy!" They take such a personal interest in the care of the animals that are brought to them.
They're also not uptight about their hours. While their office closes at 6pm, I don't get out of work until about 530. I still want to visit with Cooper every day, but with traffic I don't make it there until about 5:55pm. Each night they've let me in to visit with him, not once saying a word about the time, and each night I've stayed until about 6:30 or so. Still, they've never told me that its past their hours.
Cooper is making progress. We apparently caught this early enough, and with the care he's receiving its looking like he's going to pull through it just fine.
Visiting him is what I've been looking forward to the most each evening. Every time I see him he's looking better - has more energy, wants to interact with me more, and the best sign is how he tries to make a break for it when I open the door to his kennel. While he may not be out of the woods just yet, he's definitely improving well.
So, in the evenings I sit with him and love and cuddle him and sing this song to him... well, at least the parts I can remember.

Now, for some fun facts about Cooper.

His full name is Professor RB Cooper. He got that name because my aunt (who I got him from) recognized that he was the smartest of the litter and initially started calling him Professor. Then he was the first of the litter to figure out how to use the doggy door and would amuse himself by charging back and for through it... my uncle thought he looked like a rhino charging through the Serengeti so he started calling him Rhino Butt (RB). Finally, when I met him I just felt that his name was Cooper. There we have it: Professor RB Cooper. He has a few other nicknames:
Mr Cooperton
Coopster
Coop
Lil' Guy (most often used by my grandma)
Cooper the Trooper (this is the newest, for how well he's coming through this ailment)

Cooper HATES baths. As you can tell from the following post-bath look of disdain.
After a bath he will spaz out (thats the technical term) for at least a full 30 minutes. He runs around the house, rubbing himself on the couch, every chair, my bed, before he collapses, exhausted from all of the spazzing out... as shown below:

One of Coopers favorite past times is going for car rides

But not too soon after eating... otherwise he'll get carsick.

And while I may be his favorite girl, Janae, my 8 year old cousin, is a very close second.

One of Coopers favorite evening activities is to lay at my feet while I'm on the computer

And he LOVES to go visit all of our friends on the back patio at the pub

All of the love & attention from everyone tires him out.

Coopers favorite treats? Fake oreos from the treat bar at PetCo. Or, as I call them, fauxreos. He likes to hold one down on the ground, use his teeth to pop off the top cookie, then he will lick out all of the cream filling before eating the actual cookies. One day I will capture this on video.

Coopers morning demeanor is dependent upon how badly he needs to go potty.
If he needs to go potty, he paws at my face until I wake up. Then he'll gently grab my hand with his mouth and try to pull me out of bed. Then he'll try to herd me towards the back door.
My favorite mornings are the ones when he doesn't need to go potty very badly.
He'll wake me up with kisses, and once I'm awake he'll lay across my chest in an attempt to stop me from getting out of bed.
I'll move him off my chest so that I can sit up, and he'll lay across my lap. He just wants to snuggle!
I'll move him off my lap and put my feet on the floor... he lays on my feet.
When I'm getting dressed and putting on my pants, and this is my favorite part, he'll jump up and try to pull my pants back down.
Apparently he knows that no pants = don't leave the house.

He is my love and I can't wait for him to be able to come home.

Things I Want to Make

2008-12-07T23:19:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year.
The time of year where craft obsessive types, such as myself, are perusing the internet searching for projects. Specifically, quick, easy, and cheap projects that would make for welcome holiday gifts.
I found a number of projects this year, some of which I will keep in mind for the future. These are all ideas that I liked, but didn't quite make the cut for this holiday season. It's not due to them not being worthy, it's just that I had to limit the number of various projects so that I could keep supplies and time to a minimum.
Plus, some of them are impressive projects in their own right, but not necessarily holiday appropriate.

A few that aren't necessarily craft projects, but baking projects I stumbled upon during the search:

A moist yellow cake recipe. Not only do I want to try out that recipe, I also want to test the suggestion for keeping the cakes moist.

Also, I found this recipe for Pumpkin Cupcakes with Maple-Cream Cheese Frosting. SOUNDS PHENOMENAL. I really wish I had found this recipe a couple of weeks ago. I would have made these for the baby shower of a certain friend who LOVES all things pumpkin.

This project made me a little misty eyed. My grandmother who passed away almost two and a half years ago had a thing for tea towels. I made her many over the years, and after she passed my grandfather found the remnants of one of the first towels I ever embroidered for her. She had been planning on framing it, you can see the piece thats left here.
These potato stamped tea towels are something she would have loved.

I found a number of coaster related projects this year.

First up, are these glass coasters.
These have a lot of potential. You could make them with the paper crafts shown in patterns to coordinate with the recipients decor, or interests, or they could be made with photographs.
I also like these mirrored coasters, although they are much more of a contemporary style than the glass coasters and that should probably be kept in mind when choosing who to make them for.
Last in the coaster category are these embossed clay coasters. These would be great for someone who is a writer, or just a lover of books. I can see these embossed with lines from favorite poems or classic novels.

Fiber related crafts.

First up, is this tulip cozy for little girls. I may try to drag out my grandmas sewing machine so that I can make this for my nieces birthday in May. I just wish I was a better seamstress.
Another project that makes me wish I knew my way around a sewing machine better is this fleece blanket. Fleece is so warm and cozy!
More sewing, this stacked ottoman.
Heres a fabric related project I might actually be able to tackle. The no-sew calico quilt.
Another no sew project... the crochet edged fleece blanket. I could do this one, its more crochet than sewing.
And since crochet is one of the crafts that I definitely have down pat, I'm sure I'll make this hat.
A knitting project that I would NEVER dream of taking on, this arm chair slipcover. I do not have that kind of patience.

I also found a couple of mosaic projects. Mosaics are something that I've never tried, but am interested in. I'm thinking that after finding a couple of these projects that I will try making them this next year. I think that my mom would like both of them, so they may make fitting gifts for her birthday in March and for Mothers Day.
First up, these garden stones. Mom has been working on a couple specific parts of her garden - one being right next to the cottage that she's turning into a massage studio and these would make for a nice addition to that area.
The second is this tray. Mom is a fan of the vino so I think a grape accented design would suit her well.

A few years ago I made something VERY similar to this next project - a Rosebud Memory Box. It was easy, and cheap, and I still see these boxes on the dressers and vanities of some of the women I gave them to. One little tip -- pick up some rose scented oils to dab on the roses, just an added little touch.

These Sparkling Votive Holders would make for easy and inexpensive gifts for someone wanting to add a little sparkle to their home.

The following two items would make great gifts for a housewarming party.
First is the bead wrapped serving spoon, then theres also the sparkling serving set. Both projects together, which really are basically the same idea just on different objects, would make a complete set.
Another potential housewarming gift would be these Tabletop Terrarium Jars. I would make one for myself, except that I have a brown thumb. I have killed every single plant I have ever bought, even ivy.
I wish I had a reason to make this Tree Branch Chandelier. The only home I can think of where this would fit well with the decor would be my families cabin up at Shasta Lake... where theres no electricity.

I'm big on bath products. I love indulgent bath oils and bath salts and bombs and fizzes and bubbles. That is why I know that eventually I will be making this Peppermint Stick Salt Soak.

For holiday decor I absolutely LOVE these Chandelier Ornaments. They look so delicate and elegant!
I also like these glitter words. I think they could look nice on either a tree or a mantel.

While I've done many various crafts over the years, I've never delved too much into paper crafts. Although I do think I will be trying to make this Groovy Greeting Card sometime in the future.

Finally, a craft I think I may try to make for myself... this Contemporary Photo Wall Art. I most likely will try this with some of my travel photography.

And for the last item. Something that scares the bejebus out of me. Something that I know I will never try to make simply because I know that I do not have the patience for it. It is beautiful, it is elegant, and it is frighteningly intricate. It is a three foot tall chandelier commissioned for Tiffany & Co. And its made out of paper.

The Nightmare Before MacWorld

2008-11-24T21:10:00.000-08:00

'Twas 40 days before MacWorld and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a PowerBook G4.

Wait a minute... what?

Didn't I just post about computer problems about two months ago?
Yes. Yes I did.
As you may recall, my aunt gave me an old PowerBook G4 and while it was an older model (like my Grandma) and it had it issues (like my Grandma) it was still plugging along (say it with me... "like my Grandma").
I could still use it for basic word files, some photoshopping, and internetting (is too a word and if not, I just made it up. So there).
Then I got one of the standard software updates popups. Soooo, I installed the updates and when they were completed with the installing the system restarted. As it went through the restart it was going slow on some of the initialization or file conversion or whatever its called. This was about a month ago so I don't remember exactly what the screens said, but it was something like that. Then it got to the main start up screen... the white one with the apple on it. And it sat there, and sat there, and sat there, and has gone absolutely nowhere since.
Since theres been no progress, only setbacks, on the laptop front theres been no progress with the kPod either. By the way, have I mentioned that since the iPod now plays everything but the frontline vocals like a karaoke track I'm calling it the kPod? Get it? Karaoke...? iPod...? kPod...? Or am I just amusing myself? Crap. I knew it. I'm only amusing myself.
Anywho....
Steve, I am "this close" to breaking up with you.
Without my laptop, my internetting it seriously limited. Do you know how far behind I am on both reading and writing blogs? TV shows? Photoshop?
And don't even mention purchasing a new MacBook and iPod. I already offered Steve some of my blood and he didn't bite. (Get it? Blood? Bite? I'm making a vampire joke and the Twilight movie just came out last week? Crap. I knew it. I'm only amusing myself. Again.)

Because I Love Equal Rights

2008-10-30T23:06:00.001-07:00

I would wear a shirt that said this on Tuesday, if I could:

Adventures at Walmart

2008-10-26T20:49:00.000-07:00

I was doing some shopping this evening at my local Walmart and felt compelled to photograph some of the items in stock.

How do we know the holiday season is approaching?
By the red, pink, and blue artificial trees of course.

As cheesy as it is, I am a little partial to the pink one.

For the pampered pooch

Vitamin Water. For your dog. One was for general wellbeing, one for dental care, and one for a shiny coat.

Single serving Spam

When you just don't want to open an entire can.

Theres nothing like that Baked Virginia Ham Taste.

Its not a treat, its a "treet".

Sorry for the poor picture quality, my camera phones not the greatest.

Ashamed

2008-10-19T22:32:00.000-07:00

Every now and then I think of many of the wonderful attractions there are here in my home state of California.
There are so many things to do and places to see, and I am ashamed to admit that I have not done, or seen, the majority of them. Such as the following...

1. Yosemite National Park.
Despite living only a little over three and a half hours from this great national park, I have never come anywhere close to the park.

2. Vikingsholm Castle.
Vikingsholm is one of those little known wonders in Northern California. Anytime I mention to someone "I'd like to go to that Scandinavian Castle up near Tahoe sometime" the response is generally something along the lines of "what the heck are you talking about?". Again, this location is SO close (just a little over two hours drive), yet I've never gone. I think what has deterred me in the past is the idea of the "steep but well defined" 1 mile hiking trail from the parking lot to the actual castle.

3. Point Reyes National Seashore.
It is SO close, two and half hours drive, but I've never been and I have no clue why not. This must be remedied soon.

4. Redwoods National Park.
This site is further away, over six hours, but I'm starting to wonder if I've got something against National Parks.

5. Lava Beds National Monument.
This ones easy. I know why I've never been there... I didn't know it even existed until recently. It does sound pretty awesome though, don't you think?

6. Lassen
I've never been to either the Lassen Volcanic National Park or to the Lassen National Forest.

7. Mono Lake
I really want to go here - I'm thinking I could take some great photos there - all of the images I've seen of the lake are phenomenal.

8. Natural Bridges State Beach
Another place where I think I might be able to get some nice photos.

9. Sequoia National Park
I should go see it, because its there/

10. Death Valley
I would love to go see the spring bloom sometime

11. Big Sur
Isn't it a requirement that every photographer in or near California take a photo of the Lone Cypress at some point?

12. 17 Mile Drive
I've been to the Monterey-Carmel area several times, I have no idea why I've never done this.

13. Solvang
A Danish village right here in California - with my love of Europe, why haven't I been there yet?

14. Joshua Tree
Again, I should go - even if only because I love the U2 album

15. Catalina Island

16. San Diego
The zoo, Sea World - I want to see both.

17. Hearst Castle
One of the biggest tourist attractions in the state, and I have yet to see it. This needs to be remedied.

18. Knotts Berry Farm
I've been to Disneyland, Magic Mountain, Great America - I need to add this one to the list.

19. The California Missions
I've had this draw to photograph all of the California Missions for a couple years now, I don't know why I haven't started yet.

20. State Capital Building
Dude, seriously, its just a 20 minute drive from my house.

21. Golden Gate Bridge
Sure, I've driven across it, but I've never walked across it. I think I need to.

I'm certain that theres a lot more here in California that I should do, these are just the ones off the top of my head.

An EmbarASSing Story...

2008-10-09T01:14:00.000-07:00

Today I was reminded of an embarassing situation I got myself into a few years ago.

To preface for this, I should say that I just completed my fourth week of Weight Watchers. I've been doing okay so far and have lost a total of 12.4 pounds - not too bad, but I'd still like to see the weight come off faster, who wouldn't like to see the weight come off quicker, right?
Although I do have to admit that I haven't been the most diligent on following the plan exactly.
I've had slip ups - the night at the pub here & there (math gets hard after a couple pints of Newcastle, and WW is all about counting points), friends visiting from out of town, the usual life events popping up.
I've been making modifications to my eating habits, and whenever I make changes to my diet my body decides to change how its going to process said diet, if you know what I'm sayin'.
So, my body has recently decided that this decline in my fat and caloric intake was going to result in it STOPPING from processing everything and I found myself in the supplement aisle of my local discount department store where I discovered this.
I tried it today and can give it an astounding thumbs up. It does its job without any humiliating side effects.
Unlike a supplement I tried a few years ago.
The last time I did Weight Watchers, which was five years ago, I had the same reaction to the change in my diet. Now, I've never really gotten the concept of "less is more". I've always thought "thats a load of bull. More is more, obviously. Its right there in the phrasing MORE IS MORE".
So, when things came to a screeching halt did I go in search of a simple supplement?
No.
When perusing the shelves at the drug store did I think "Oh, heres the gentle womens formula! Perfect, since I am a woman after all!"
Nope.
I thought "Extra-super-duper-get-the-job-done-NOW" BINGO, we have a winner!!!
I bought the extra strength formula, went home and read the packaging and paid special attention to the time frame that it typically takes to kick in. I don't recall exactly, but I believe it was supposed to take something like anywhere between three and twelve hours to achieve the desired results. So, I took the extra strength supplement at work the next day during the late afternoon with the thought that it would kick in after I got home, but before I went to bed that evening.
It never happened.
I went to bed thinking that it would kick in when I woke up in the morning.

Part way through the night I'm awoken by what I think are gunshots.. or maybe a car backfiring. I jumped straight up in bed thinking "What the EFF?!?!?!?!???" I sat up, not hearing anything further, and went back to sleep.
A little bit later I'm awoken again, sitting straight up in bed, by the same gunshot sounds. This time I realized something... I was not being awoken by gunshots, or a car backfiring, there weren't even hooligans lighting M80's in my backyard.
Yes, I was being woken up during the night by the explosive sound of my own ass.
The extra-strength-super-duper laxative was not doing its job, it was only giving me explosive flatulence.

There you have it - one of my most humiliating, yet still hilarious, stories to tell about myself... and its about gas.
The twelve year old boy in me thinks its hysterical.

The Amazing Race

2008-09-28T19:08:00.000-07:00

Many of my friends know that one of my favorite TV shows is The Amazing Race (TAR). Even those who may not know that most likely are not surprised considering my love of travel.

So I am very happy tonight since the new season has started. And I always generalize a few of the teams into one of the following categories

1. Most Annoying
2. Most Endearing
3. Most Likely To Combust (either on air or after the show)
4. Most Likely To Be The First Eliminated

Here are my preliminary generalizations:

1. Most Annoying - I'm thinking its going to be Terence and Sarah. First, its just the first episode and they're complaining that two of the other teams have formed an alliance and didn't say "Hi!" to them at one point. Okay, yes, general pleasantries are always nice, but guess what... YOU'RE IN A COMPETITION. FOR A MILLION DOLLARS. General pleasantries are going to be tossed out the window, and its only going to get worse the further along you go. Buck up and get used to it.

2. Most Endearing - Anita and Arthur. I've got a soft spot for older couples that embark on something like this.

3. Most Likely To Combust (either on air or after the show) - This is a tough one this season. I'm torn between Ken and Tina and Anthony and Stephanie. What I don't understand are the couples who base their relationship upon how they do in this competition... and every season has one of those couples. Ken and Tina are separated after he was unfaithful and have said that how they do in TAR may play a big factor in their reconciliation. Then theres Anthony and Stephanie who said that how they do in TAR will help them to decide if they should get married, or go their separate ways.
I will never understand why couples who already have less than solid relationships will throw themselves in the middle of a fire like this. I can only imagine how stressful TAR can be on relationships and if the relationship is already strained. Why willingly put it through something that trying?

4. Most Likely To Be The First Eliminated - Anita and Arthur. While I do find them to be the most endearing, they just don't seem to have that much drive - they're just a little too laid back (turns out I was right, they were the first eliminated).

And to answer your question: Yes. I do want to audition for TAR one day. It would be perfect for me - a couple weeks of racing around the world? HELL YEAH! I'm up for that anytime!

I know I've blogged about it before, but my cousin Erin and I think that we'd make a pretty good team -- we travel together well, and our strengths and weaknesses balance each other out. Plus, the only other cousin team (that I know of) on TAR was Charla and Mirna. And they were annoying as can be. Erin and I are way cooler.
We've been saying that we want to audition for the past year, but a couple of things have held us back.
1. My weight. To be honest, my weight and lack of physical fitness would be a complete liability to any team I was on. I would need to lose a considerable amount of weight before participating in anything like this.
2. Erin spent the past year embroiled in a less than pleasant divorce, so the timing was not optimal for her.
3. My knees. This goes along with my weight - the condition that they are presently in would present a large liability in any physical challenges. Losing weight would help with the condition of my knees, and so would improving my general physical fitness.

So, I've got a lot to do if I want to even consider auditioning. I'm already working on the weight issue - I joined Weight Watchers a couple of weeks ago (more on that later) - and I'm going to be working on the physical fitness issue, especially if I'm going to be doing any of the multi-day walk-a-thons or bike rides next year (again, more on that later).
I need to do these things for reasons more than the possibility of auditioning for TAR. I need to do these things just to improve my general health.
TAR is just an added incentive.

So, I'll pose a question I've asked before:

Any suggestions on what would make an audition tape that would grab the attention of the casting directors and producers?
Those of you who know me well - what aspects of my personality should I play up?

An Open Letter to Steve Jobs

2008-09-17T23:28:00.000-07:00

Dear Steve,

I adore you. I've been a fan of yours since I got my first iBook four years ago -- it was only a couple of months until I got my first iPod.
I've told my boss that if I ever call in sick in mid-January, its a safe bet that I'm actually playing hookey to go to Mac World in SF. I really want to see your keynote speech someday.
I like your casual jeans and mock turtle neck.
I thought that walking out in front of the Mark Twain quote, "The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated", at the launch of the latest generation of iPods was quite clever.
To sum it up - I am a huge fan of you and your empire and am sure that I will be for life. Its because of this that I have to ask you one very direct, and rather difficult, question:

Why do you hate me so?

I got my first iBook, a G4, in July of 2004 as a gift from my eldest aunt. I LOVED IT! Finally I had a computer that didn't continuously crash on me, that I didn't have to "defragment" (whatever the hell that means, I never really understood and don't particularly care to) all the time. I didn't have to consistently run virus sweeps. The best part? It was EASY to use! Intuitive! Plus it was pretty and stylish! I love the white casing - so much prettier than the clunky black of your competitors. Yes, I know that some other computer companies offer laptops in a wide rainbow of colors now, but I still love the pristine white Mac.
The iBook served me very well up until this past spring. Then it started behaving very... weirdly.
Of course, I had been spouting off the wonders of Mac, how much I love you, how I'd had this iBook for four years with absolutely NO problems whatsoever, how EVERYONE should have a Mac.
Within a week, I started having problems. Naturally.
I used it to watch DVDs and to catch up on my favorite TV shows online. All of a sudden, I would be in the middle of watching something, and the screen would go black and the sound would cut out. Almost as if I had turned the iBook off, except I could still hear the hard drive (or at least what I think is the hard drive) running. It woulldn't respond to anything on the keyboard or touchpad, but I could turn it off via the power button. Then, when I turned it back on via the power button it would usually turn back on (with the hard drive running loudly) and start up okay, but other times when I turned it on via the power button, and only the hard drive would run. Then sometimes when I would restart the iBook, the date would be set for something crazy, like 1981 or something like that. NUTTY!
I spoke with a friend who used to work for you and he told me that there was a known problem with the cold solder graphics on that years machines and that he thought it sounded like that was the issue. The problem? I was well beyond any warranty. Sucked to be me. He did offer me the suggestion of resetting the power manager by OPTION+SHIFT+CTRL+POWER or by starting up in safe mode. These solutions worked a couple of times only, then all of a sudden the iBook wouldn't power up at all. No way, no how. REALLY REALLY REALLY sucked to be me. I only lost a few casual photos. Thankfully I had everything else backed up to an external hard drive.
I was without a computer for a couple of months.
Then something miraculous happened. I cried my tale of iBook woe to my wonderfully generous aunt, and she bequeathed to me an old PowerBook G4 that she had upgraded from. We installed the latest OS and hallelujah, I was back in business.
Then things got a little sticky again. The USB ports won't recognize anything I plug in. Not my external hard drive, not my ipod, nothing. All I get is some odd message saying something about an unrecognizable device. WEIRD. Then I go to watch one of my favorite shows online and theres no sound. Same thing with DVDs. Evidently something is a little wonky with the sound card I assume.
But, I can email, blog, and photoshop to my hearts content.
That is my tragic story with the iBook/PowerBook.

Now, for the iPod. Not all of these are technical issues. They're not all your fault, Steve. Some of them are my own clumsiness. I understand this.
My first iPod fell victim to a cup of coffee. Yes, a cup of coffee. I'm driving to work, not paying attention to the road while I scroll through my playlists thinking "Do I want some George Michael to pep me up this morning or am I wanting something a little more current? Maybe some Beyonce?" When I look up and see that I have to slam on the brakes. As I slam on the brakes, my iPod slips out of my hand and into my cup of coffee. I cursed. Profusely.
At the time I was a little short on cash flow, as I usually am, so I found an iPod nano on ebay to hold me over until I could get a real one (the nano won't hold my entire music collection - I have something along the lines of 18GB of music and the nano was only 8GB). That one lasted a while, although it was a little frustrating to have only half of my music collection on there. Then, I let the battery go completely dead one day. It would never power back on. I'm thinking that it may make a rather cool fish tank ornament, dontcha think?
I did eventually get another iPod. Then my car got broken into. Buh-bye iPod.
I got another iPod, a refurb (again - low cash flow), and have been loving it for nearly two years. It has been fantastic. I've been grooving along on my commute, blocking out annoying seatmates on flights, its been great. I even downloaded podcasts for some recent trips I took that provided me with guided tours of attractions and helped me to learn other languages! I LOVE THE IPOD!
Then, tragedy struck.
Last week, my iPod suddenly froze up on me. No big deal, right? I can just reset it. So, I did. Everything seemed fine, until I went to play the iPod in my car the next morning. I selected a song, the music started, and then the music kept going, but with no lyrics. No lyrics? Thats right, no lyrics. The music is playing, and I can hear the back up singers just fine. What I couldn't hear was the main vocals. It was as if I were listening to a karaoke track. It does this with every song in my iPod. It is very very very frustrating.
So, I would go out and get a new iPod BUT I would have a problem getting my music library on it since my PowerBook won't recognize anything that I plug into any of the USB ports.
I would love to get one of the new MacBooks with 4GB memory and 250 GB Hard Drive (between my music collection and photographs, I need quite a bit of storage space), but those START at $1,600! $1,600? Seriously? I can barely afford to put gas in my car! If I had that kind of money, I'd spend a week or two in Europe!
Then I'd be looking at another $250 for the iPod (or $400 for the iPod touch, which I'll admit, I really would like). And since I'm at it I may as well admit that I am deeply, madly, ravenously in lust with the iPhone (white!) and of course, thats another $300. Plus $150 to break my contract with my current cell phone carrier.
So, what are we up to now? Anywhere between $2,150 to $2,300? Or more if I add on any applications/programs/accessories. Could I just give you some of my eggs? How about a few pints of blood? I am O-/CMV-... a true Universal Donor.
I absolutely love your products. They're beyond fantastic, I just wish they could be more affordable.

Sincerely,
Vanessa
who does not want to have to break down and buy a Dell and/or a Zune but is afraid that she may have to considering the current economic situations.

Third Times a Charm???

2008-09-14T22:39:00.000-07:00

So, last Wednesday I bit the bullet and joined Weight Watchers. AGAIN.
Its worked for me in the past, then I went completely off plan and gained back all of the weight that I had lost (and then some).
When I went off plan last time I gained back some, but not a whole heck of a lot at first. I really gained it all back when I started hanging out at the pub more often. I'm starting to wonder if there might be a connection there.
Yes, this is my third attempt at Weight Watchers. Well, not really. It's my third attempt in my ADULT life. My mom put me on WW for the first time when I was 10 years old (5th grade) and again when I was 13 (8th grade). So, if you really want to get technical this would be the fifth attempt.
The first time I did WW (as an adult) was 5 years ago, and I had a pretty good support system. I went on Saturday mornings with my cousin and my oldest friend. It was something that the three of us looked forward to, a way to get us out of the house early on a Saturday morning and really kick off the weekend.
Now, my life is such that I often have social commitments on weekends, or I may be traveling, hopefully photographing a wedding, or something along those lines. Okay, I'll be honest, theres also a possibility that I could be recovering from Friday night and can't imagine dragging my butt out of bed to go to a Weight Watchers meeting.
This time, instead of Saturday morning I'm going to meetings on Wednesday evening, again with my cousin Erin.
So far I'm doing okay at staying on plan. I figure I'll just follow the food plan for a couple of months, see how I do at losing the weight just by making food modifications. Then, when I hit a big plateau, I'll start to incorporate some sort of exercise or fitness routine.

Random Cooper update, I had the following text message conversation with my cousin Erin this evening:

Me: Cooper randomly runs laps ON my bed as though hes being chased by evangelical missionaries.

Erin: Why would they chase him?

Me: To convert him from his heathen ways. He likes to play with yarn and womens panties. They figure he needs saving.

She never replied after that.

What the....?????

2008-09-09T22:18:00.000-07:00

So, imagine this:
You're driving home from work, on one of the busiest streets in the area and a couple of cars ahead, you could swear that you see an airplane.
HUH? Yes, you ARE on the way to the optometrist to pick up your new glasses, but your visions not THAT bad. So you speed up a little, because you have to see if there really IS an airplane on the road.
And sure enough, there is:

Yes, the wings have been removed and it is being towed buy an SUV, but still! Theres a freaking plane on Sunrise Blvd!

Of course, this had to be the day that I pull out my real camera and the battery is completely dead but I was able to grab these pics with my cell phone.

What am I, Crazy???

2008-09-04T23:28:00.000-07:00

Wait. Don't answer that.

Every so often I get some wild hair up my backside to do something. Sometimes I go through with it, and sometimes I don't. When I do go through with it I get all gung-ho crazy and obsessed. A couple examples...

Several years ago I had been watching my diet and practicing yoga semi-regularly - I tried to make a class about once a week. By doing these two things, I started losing weight so I then started going to yoga more frequently, 2-3 times per week, and pilates occaisionally, maybe once every other week. Naturally, when I became more active I started to lose even more weight. Yeah, I started to get a little obsessed. I was considering becoming a yoga instructor at the urging of the owner of the studio I was going to, I was looking into yoga retreats as vacation options, half of my wardrobe was various yoga pants and tank tops.
I didn't limit my obsession with physical activity to just yoga though. Somewhere in the middle of all of this I read about the American Diabetes Association Tour de Cure which is either a 25, 50 or 100 mile bike ride to raise funding for diabetes research. I was training for the 50 mile ride. In addition to yoga and pilates, I would go on bike rides throughout the week. I would take my bike to work on the back of my car, and on my way home I would stop off at the American River Bike trail and ride for about 5 miles before returning home. On weekends I would go on 15 mile rides around my town. In the evenings, or when weather would not allow biking, I would lift handweights. I walked around my house, and the grocery store or Target, with ankle weights. I was dead serious about my training.
About a month before the ride I got bronchitis. While the antibiotics did clear out the bronchitis, I still didn't feel like my usual self and my workouts were nowhere near as easy as they had been in the previous months. But, I kept pushing through it figuring that I just had to build myself back up to the level that I was at before I got sick. It never got any easier and then I started to develop this really weird stabbing pain in my ribcage whenever I did try to work out. Then that stabbing pain was there whenever I took a breath. I went back to the doctors and was diagnosed with pleurisy just a week before the Tour de Cure. I was out of the ride. I knew that with the pain I was in there was no possible way I would be able to come anywhere near doing a 50 mile bike ride.
At that point I was so disappointed that I stopped riding my bike, stopped going to yoga and pilates and slowly gained back all of the weight I had lost, plus an additional 40lbs.

Another time I got all gung ho about something was just a little over two years ago. for New Years Eve 2005. I was at home, sick, watching Sex and the City DVDs when I rang in 2006. Lying there, I decided that my resolution that year would be to go somewhere that required a passport. I briefly forgot about my resolution for a couple of months, then remembered it when I was preparing to do my taxes in late February. As soon as I found out how much my tax refund was going to be that year I went online and booked tickets to Ireland. The rest is history - I've been obsessed with travel ever since and have made it my personal goal to take at least one international trip each year and I aim to visit every continent except Antarctica during my lifetime.

Other ideas that have just been a flash in the pan...

A few years ago I got some random idea that I wanted to photograph all of the California Missions. I spent a couple days mapping out where all of the missions are, which ones could be done in short day or weekend trips, figuring out which ones were in the closest proximity to one another and would be feasible to visit two in the same day.
I also thought it would be cool to photograph California lighthouses and/or boardwalks.
However, have you seen or heard me speak of any photos of ANY of the missions, lighthouses, or boardwalks???

My latest idea? A walk for breast cancer research. This one has a bit of a surprise to it though. Its in October of next year (yep, 2009) and I would need to start training soon. I know what you're thinking "What? Train? For a WALK? Come on now Vanessa, you can't possibly be serious." But I am.
It is a 3-day, sixty mile, walk. Check it out.

So, am I crazy to consider this?

By the way, these are the glasses I ended up ordering

The trials of a new puppy

2008-09-03T18:59:00.000-07:00

Ahhh.... puppyhood.

Friday morning I woke up, thankful that it was the last work day prior to a 3 day holiday weekend. I reached over to my nightstand for my glasses and they weren't there.

Fast forward through a good 20 minutes of me blindly stumbling throughout the entire house searching for my glasses. Where were they? With Coopers chewies and toys. And mangled pretty badly.

Without glasses, I can't see. Without glasses, the DMV won't allow me to operate a motor vehicle, and thats a good thing. Without glasses, I can't see worth a damn and knew that I wouldn't be able to go to work that day.
That was interesting phone call:

Me Yes, I don't know when I'll be able to make it in to work today.
Boss: You're sick? (with sound of suspicion since this is the Friday before the Labor Day weekend)
M: Not exactly. Puppy ate my glasses
B: BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Call me when you can see.

I figured that I'd go to Lens Crafters since they advertise "glasses in about an hour", or at least thats what I remember them always advertising.
In the meantime, I browse their website, looking at various frames so that I'll have an idea of what I want and can speed up the whole frame selection process.
I narrowed it down to 2 pairs that I thought were AWESOME. Theyre quirky, a little eclectic, definitely not glasses you see everyday. In fact, theyre even described as "sassy" on the Lens Crafters website. My younger cousins say I'm "sassy" and even have "Sassy" instead of my name programmed into their cell phones.
Just check them out for yourself...

Cute, huh?
If you look real close, and its not early, and your current glasses haven't been chewed on by a 15 week old puppy, you'll see that they're Bulgari's. Theyre also nearly $400. Thats when I had a mild freak out. Yes, theyre a designer name and have those cute crystal flower things on the sides, but still! $400???

So, I wait until Lens Crafters opens and guess what: my insurance won't recognize Lens Crafters. To be honest, with $400 frames I'm not sure that I blame them.

I called my optometrist, but wasnt able to get in for an appointment until 12:30. The dr fitted me for contacts to hold me over until my glasses come in and then spent a good 45 minutes trying on practically every frame in the shop. Also of note - it had been 3 years since my last eye exam so the dr dialated my eyes and I couldn't see a thing less than 3 feet away for next couple of hours and ended up taking the rest of the day off from work.

The contacts. Over the years people have seen me take off my glasses for photos, comment on my eyes, and ask why I don't wear contacts or have lasik surgery.

Well, a few years ago I did look into lasik surgery. I had a consultation and everything. The doctor told me that I have larger than normal pupils (great - my boobs, ass, and now my pupils. ALL larger than normal)and while they can do the surgery and correct my vision, I would see halos around lights (because of the whole pupil deal) and have less than perfect night vision. Initially I did schedule to have the procedure done, but as the date got closer I decided against it. I figure that the point of lasik surgery is to correct my vision - not correct it for half of the time while causing another vision problem the other half of the time. My thoughts on it are that if I give them a few more years, perhaps technology will advance to the point that they'll even be able to correct vision for the big-pupil-afflicted.

Contacts - I've worn them off and on over the years. However, I've never been able to get a proper fit, especially on my right eye. I guess my astigmatism is such that I can't get a good snug fit - I can feel the contacts move to the point that its annoying at times, and they get really dry and uncomfortable and when they get dry, everything gets kinda foggy and hazy. Like I've had a couple martinis, but without the soothing buzz.
These trial contacts that the dr gave me are working okay so far. I do like being able to wear cute sunglasses and can easily see myself purchasing way too many pairs from the "compare to *insert designer label here*" kiosk in the middle of the mall.

I'm thinking that I may spring for some prescription sunglasses though, and this is where I need your help. Do you like the green? Or the black?

of course, these are the ones I like just from looking online. Whenever I do actually go in and try them on, my preferences could very well change.

And yes, I'll probably end up buying a back up pair of my regular glasses in case anything happens to the new ones. Like Cooper wanting a midnight snack again.

Kylees First Piano Lesson

2008-08-27T22:50:00.000-07:00

Preston, a family friend, had come over to visit my mom and sister this past weekend. While there, he decided to play the piano some and took a seat on the bench. As soon as he started playing, Kylee was fascinated and wanted UP! UP! UP! on the bench next to him. She took her seat next to Preston and started playing right along with him.

The following video is a VERY brief example of her playing that day - she sat next to him for over half an hour. Thats a pretty impressive attention span for a 15 month old - at least I think so from what I know about kids.
Also, notice that during the second half of the video shes starting to try to hold her hands properly, more like Prestons rather than just banging away on the keyboard.

Kikis First Piano Lesson from Vanessa ODonnell on Vimeo.

What you don't see in the video are some of the examples of how dominant of a personality she has. A couple of times my sister would start to talk. Kylee would dramatically stop playing, turn around and tell her mom to shush.
Then, if she decided that Preston was too far into "her" side of the keyboard, she would push his hand back over to "his" side.
I do believe shes going to be a bit of a diva.

Apparently the video won't load. Check it out here

Theres Someone I'd Like You to Meet...

2008-08-25T19:13:00.000-07:00

Professor RB Cooper, but I just call him Cooper.

He is 14 weeks old today.

A couple of years ago, my aunt had a miniature poodle imported from France (shes a huge francophile and wanted an actual french poodle) with the thoughts that she may breed her a few years down the road. Fast forward to this past spring when Antoinette had a brief but fervent love affair with the neighbors lhasa apso, Spike.

After Maddie passed away, I went to my aunts house in Fairfield to borrow a program disc to upgrade the operating system on my computer. This little guy didn't have a home yet and he and I just kinda fell for each other.

The difference between him and Maddie is astounding. Maddie was in tune to my energy levels and emotions from day one. Even when I brought her home at 8 weeks old, she would pick up on my moods and just roll with it. If I'd had a rough day at work and just wanted to veg out in front of the television, she would cuddle up on my lap and chill out. If I was more upbeat we'd go out in the back yard and play fetch for an hour. She was awesome that way.

This little guy? Its like he's on crack half the time. Training him is going to be more of a challenge than it has ever been with any dog I've ever had. I think I'm definitely going to have to take him to training sessions at Petsmart or someplace like that.

He frustrates the crap out of me, chews on my ears to wake me up in the morning, has destroyed more than one skein of yarn, loves to trot out into the living room with my dirty panties in his mouth when theres company over, "yells" at me when he's decided that its my bedtime, and throws temper tantrums when I stop paying attention to him long enough to take a shower.
Even with all of this, when I left him with my aunt and uncle so they could puppysit while I went on a camping trip with friends, I missed him every single day and worried when I didn't get a text message update on how he was doing each morning, afternoon, and evening.

He is a pain in the ass, but I adore him.

Things I Like

2008-08-20T22:24:00.000-07:00

A while back I was visiting a friend I hadn't seen in a couple of months and we were discussing things we like. Our new favorite lip gloss, Food Network personality, typical girl stuff.
I've made a list...

Bare Minerals
I decided to jump on the bandwagon and got these two kits

The first time I used it, I looked in the mirror and was thought it looked a little... powdery, like it was obvious that there was powder on my face. However, people immediately started commenting on how well rested I looked and asked if I had finally gotten a good nights sleep - yes, these people are all aware of how exhausted I'd been due to school the last couple of months.
I think I've gotten the hang of applying the powder so that I don't have that "powdery" look. I'm loving the powders, eye shadow, blush, even the lipgloss! The mascara... eh, its not that great.

However, a mascara that I DO like:

Its great. Thats really all there is to say about it. No need to elaborate, rave about its virtues. Its just fantastic, go get some. NOW.

Guinness.

But thats not really much of a surprise to anyone who knows me.

Renting beach houses.
Last fall a few friends and I rented a house in Sea Ranch for a weekend.
We stayed here

It was awesome. Quiet, secluded, a short walk to a beach. Bonus - the house had a hot tub AND a sauna. Totally affordable when you get a small group of friends together and everyone contributes one meal each.

Body washes.
I am a total and complete sucker when it comes to various body washes. These are my current faves:

Caress Exotic Oil Infusions in both Moroccan and Brazilian.

They both smell fantastic and moisturize well.

Dial Yogurt Body Wash in Vanilla Honey

I also have the hand wash in this one.
The scent is nice and clean.

Face Cleanser.
Laventine Water Soluble Facial Cleansing Oil in Olive Forte

Its an oil - you take a very small amount and rub it all over your dry face. Since its oil, it melts away the mascara and all dirt, and doesn't leave your skin feeling dry. How it doesn't leave an oily residue, I have no clue. I once asked someone with more science type knowledge than what I have and he started saying something about charged ions, and thats where he lost me. I have no idea exactly how it works, but I love it.

Redken Fresh Curls

Ive been using this line for about 6 weeks or so, and my hair is super soft. The curls are holding nicely but without feeling like theres a ton of product in it. So far all I'm using is the shampoo, conditioner, and curl boost scrunching spray but I'm thinking I may have to try some of the other products in the line.
I think the "secret" ingredient is coconut oil - it moisturizes really well, and anyone with curly hair knows that moisture is the difference between nice curls and frizzy mess.
Now that I think about it, I'm almost out of the shampoo and conditioner. I'll have to pick some up soon.

Canada Dry Green Tea Ginger Ale

Tasty, light & crisp, plus one can has 100% of your daily vitamin C

Travel in general

Unfortunately, I don't think I'm going to be able to do a lot of it in the too near future. The price of airline tickets are really high right now so it's beyond my budget, plus with my new school schedule I just don't know when I'll be able to squeeze any travel in.
I would like to reward myself with a little trip somewhere after the fall semester is over, but considering thats right around Christmas time I won't be able to get much time off from work, if any.

Ace of Cakes

I just discovered this show a couple of weeks ago and I LOVE it.
Mary Alice is hilarious!

I LOVE Geofs dead pan speech

And yes, as a matter of fact, I DO have a wee bit of a crush on Duff

Hes totally like MacGyver... with CAKE! Hilarious, looks like he'd be an awesome boss, laid back, creative, drives a Vespa, plays in a band, spends a work day doing a mock Iron Chef challenge, come on... how could you NOT like him?

My Maddie Baby Girl

2008-07-24T12:38:00.000-07:00

A few years ago I was going through a rough time.
Over the course of just a little over a year, my mother had a heart attack, my grandfather had a stroke then passed away 6 months later, my dog Trucker (who had really become more of my grandfathers dog, to be honest) had to be put down due to brain tumors, I became an overnight mother of 3 when I got custody of my cousins while my aunt got clean and sober, and I found out that my grandmother had inoperable lung cancer.
I was feeling depressed, overwhelmed, and as though I had completely lost touch with myself. I needed something of my own, to be able to hold on to and bring me back to my center.
I decided that I needed a dog. It had been over a year since I'd had to have Trucker put to sleep and that was the longest I'd ever been without a dog in my life.

I made numerous trips to the pound out on Bradshaw, but every dog that I connected with, and who got along with my youngest cousin who was 4 at the time, was either deemed "unadoptable" or was adopted by another family before I was able to get to the shelter.

I was feeling heavily discouraged that I would never find a puppy and did something that I customarily do not condone - I started looking in the newspaper and on Craigslist.
One of the first listings I found on Craigslist was for a woman out in Marysville (now known to my cousin Erin and I as Scarysville after our trip out there to this womans house). The woman had long haired chihuahuas that she was trying to rehome.
My theory is that she had SO many dogs that the county was making her find homes for them before they were seized and taken to the shelter.
Erin and I pulled up to this womans double wide and were immediately apprehensive - there were numerous skulls, I think cow & goat... or maybe sheep, I'm not sure, fastened to the cyclone fencing around her property. Against our better judgement, we went inside.
The woman kept bringing dogs out of every room and structure on her property. There had to be somewhere around a dozen of them, if not more.
These dogs had obviously had no socialization at all because any time I went to put my hand towards one so that they could smell me, they would snarl and bite at me. There was one that would sit on my lap, but it was so incredibly frightened that it immediately peed a map of the Hawaiian islands on my leg.
Yes, I wanted to take home as many of these dogs as I could so that they could live in a better environment, but I had a 4 year old at home and there was no way I could risk having a dog that would bite at her.

A couple weeks later I found a listing on Craigslist for a woman in Fremont who had a litter of Pembroke Welsh Corgi/Miniature American Eskimo mix pups that were 4 weeks old and she was starting to line up homes for once they reached 8 weeks.
I truly do not support back yard breeders, but saw this photo and my heart went mushy.

I made the drive down to Fremont and sat with the woman for well over 3 hours, holding each puppy and talking about dogs. I feel she was as responsible as a backyard breeder could possibly be, wanting to know my pet ownership history, training and discipline methods, how often the dog would be left alone, etc.
As I held each of those puppies, my thoughts were "so adorable and sweet, I want this one. No, this one, no this one."
When I picked up the puppy on the far left, she snuggled up in my arms and fell asleep. After about 20 minutes or so she woke up, crawled up my chest, sniffed my mouth, gave me a little kiss, and then curled up on my chest and went back to sleep.
I knew that she was my baby.
I went home that night, with arrangements to come back 4 weeks later to pick up the puppy.
I spent the next 4 weeks deliberating over names. I considered celtic names since she's part Pembroke Welsh Corgi. I considered Inuit and Native American names since shes part American Eskimo. Absolutely nothing seemed to fit.
On the day that I was to pick the puppy up, my cousin Meghan and I were in San Francisco for the morning and walked into a Starbucks. I started considering coffee names since its one of my favorite beverages. None of those worked either.
As Meghan and I were placing our orders at the counter, she picked up a package of madeleine cookies and asked what they tasted like. Then she looked at me and said in an awed whisper, "Madeleine!" I looked at her and confirmed "Maddie!" I then new what my puppys name was.
We went to the womans house in Fremont and picked Maddie up - she remembered me from 4 weeks prior, and the whole car ride home to Sacramento Meghan held her as best as she could while Maddie tried to crawl over to me.
I've gone on many vacations the past couple of years, and whenever I've returned Maddie has greeted me with excitement - jumping up and down at my feet until I pick her up and give her love and kisses.
I went out of town this past weekend and got home incredibly late Sunday night, was exhausted from the long drive back from Redding and went straight to bed.
Monday morning I was running late for work, so I just peeked out the back window to make sure that Maddie had food and water, then I left for work.
A couple of hours later, my grandma called me to let me know that my mom and great-uncle had come over and found Maddie on the back porch and that she seemed to be sick. They also found 4 packages of d-con that Maddie had apparently eaten.
We haven't had d-con here at my house for a number of years. I suspect that someone threw it into my yard, and I have an idea of who may have done it, but unfortunately no proof at all.
My mom took Maddie to the vet for me on Monday where they treated her with a Vitamin K injection and gave us a prescription of Vitamin K pills to give her over the next month.
She came home, and I was taking care of her as best as I could, but late Tuesday night she took a turn for the worse.
Maddie went back to the vets yesterday and they told me that the damage was more extensive than was evident when they originally saw her on Monday. The Dr and his staff said they really couldn't give any prognosis other than to see what happens day by day. She was admitted so that they could keep her hydrated and use more aggressive medications than what I would be able to give her at home.
Last night I stopped at the vets to visit her after work before going to school.
I sat on the floor next to her kennel and leaned in and snuggled against her for a while.
She again sniffed my mouth and gave me a little kiss. Just like the first time I met her.

This morning I got the call from the vets office that Maddie had passed away during the night.
I love you my Maddie Baby Girl.